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| The New Don.Ho of Philadelphia | Started by: Brick_Pollitt on Jan 27, '09 15:30 |
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He came strolling out of his office at the family HQ in Philly, and made his way to the soap box on the street corner. He didn't bring the soap box. He didn't need to. This particular street corner had a permanent soap box. Some might call it a statue, but it was a statue of some Mafioso of times long gone by that nobody recognized. So Brick climbed up the back and onto the shoulders of the soapbox and cleared his throat. Now, by this point the onlookers were finding this quite humorous. Here was this grown man, and I mean GROWN man, trying to make his way up the back of this five foot high statue. (short for a life-size statue, but it was a Mafioso.) It was quite the scene. And although it was winter, and quite cold, this particular nut was wearing a pair of long shorts and an extremely loud button-down shirt. Next to his soap box was his long board and a helmet. Safety first, after all. Excuse me ladies and gentleman. I wanted to take this opportunity to announce a new figure to be idolized in our fair city of Philadelphia. Yes, it is me. I am here to proclaim myself the new DON...Ho of Philadelphia. That's right I'm the new Don Ho. I don't have those silly aspirations to be a Don or a Consiggliiiererafdsarri, just want to be the new Don...Ho...of Philadelphia. I congratulate those with lofty goals of being A Don or Godfather, but it's just not for me. But I think I could be respected too. Maybe not for my hard work, ability to lead, or other admirable qualities, but for my ability to SING. And with that, he cleared his throat one more time, took a deep breath, and began to croon. Tiny Bubbles, In my Gin, Makes me Happy, Makes me feel Thin. Tiny Bubbles, In my Wine, Makes me Happy, Makes me want to dine. And ladies and gentlemen, I'm taking requests. One day only on the streets of Philadelphia. Come get close to the NEW Don...Ho. He tossed fliers into the street. They read: "Available for private parties. And come see me Friday nights, on this street corner." And with that, he fell off the statue, bumped his head, and waited for requests. |
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Are you available for tonight? I as thinking of holding a party for myself and my 22 midget friends. Let me know. |
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| Reply by: JimmyTheLionHeart at Jan 27, '09 15:36 | |
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Checks his invisible schedule, flipping through pages that are there only in his own head. Um, yeah, I'm not sure I'm free. The last time I was at one of those midget parties at your house, I was punched in the knee like 37 times. Then after I fell asleep on the couch, I woke up in bed with six of them and a sore eye. |
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| Reply by: Brick_Pollitt at Jan 27, '09 15:55 | |
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| I'm rather disturbed by the sore eye, but I'll take an evening with Don Ho. Is the name by ancestry or by reputation? | |
| Reply by: NikkiPhoenix at Jan 27, '09 17:13 | |
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Well, that's an interesting question Ms. Phoenix. And might I say, I much prefer the parties at your house. But as to the name. The name is by both, ancestry and reputation. The Don is by Ancestry. My father was Don, his father was Donald, and his father was Donna. Don't ask. And as for the Ho. Well, that's by reputation. I thought you knew that. flashes a smile and holds up his can of Dr Pepper. |
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| Reply by: Brick_Pollitt at Jan 27, '09 17:22 | |
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Ya know, I think I seen you walkin' around the streets of Philly. You had what looked like a Tommy Gun hidden under your overcoat and I remember think'in, 'Geez, look at the balls on that guy! Walkin' around in broad daylight with a chopper hidden under his coat like dat. Dis must be one tough town!' I guess dis explains it. It wasn't no Tommy Gun, it was a freakin' ukulele! |
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| Reply by: Composite at Jan 27, '09 17:25 | |
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Pulls his ukulele out from his bag, points it at the crowd, and starts making a shooting sound. Yeah, I carry this thing with me everywhere. In case somebody pisses me off. Or requests a song. Whatever. |
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| Reply by: Brick_Pollitt at Jan 28, '09 00:25 | |
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