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| Roast Of GodMother Marietta | Started by: TraeThaTruth on Feb 01, '09 23:43 |
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Imma go all OOC up in this bitch! Dear Mario, FINISH CODING CAPTAINS BITCH! And pfft Guardian isn't really family he totally went all non R-er in his name. Huffles off to Angel for cookies and a shot of OOCits) |
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| Reply by: Lobotomy at Feb 02, '09 18:47 | |
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Thehawk walks out, wearing his new suit and a new golden ring. He walked up to the podium, shoving the Lobotomy out of his way as he walked. He clears his throat, and looks out over the Mafioso faces staring back up at him. He smiles at Marietta in an 'I'm fucking sorry' sort of way, and clears his throat again. "Before I begin," he started, "I need a glass of Scotch. No, fuck that, I got some." He took a flask out of his pocket and a large glass. He poured the amber-colored liquid into the glass. A lackey brought over some ice. "Thanks, bitch," he started, when he was interrupted by someone in the audience. "No you cannot, sir, stop beggin' for booze. Someone asked me, before I came on today, what kind of scotch I drank, and I told them it was the kind that people drank that were gonna die penniless. It's good stuff, though. Now, we are here to roast Marietta, the Godmother of Cannon-Fodder City, also known as 'Estrogen Town'." "Seriously, there are so many un-aligned gangster deaths because of a little set of three letters called PMS. Where do you think Communism comes from? The Anglo-Saxon word Mariettacommunims, meaning 'Marietta will beat the piss out of you with here heel. I went to shake her hand once, and one of her guards pulled a gun on me. I told him to pull that trigger. Empty. So, I stole his gun and aimed it at her mansion's roof. Blew a fucking hole in it the size of her own vagina, which is saying something." "I will be back, but the cops are currently looking for...FUCK. Marietta, I respect you, honor you, and beg you for bail!" Cops bust in the audiotorium door. He sees them. "Fuckers, come and get me!" he yelled, running. |
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| Reply by: Thehawk at Feb 02, '09 22:27 | |
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Thinks he'd be a suitable auth. Conceded, no, just very confident. |
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| Reply by: Aftershock at Feb 02, '09 22:37 | |
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Thehawk ran in again, not a drop of scotch gone. He jumped up on stage, and threw Aftershock away from the podium. "You were saying, Aftershock? He's always treated me well but, for the sake of this bit, he's gay," said Thehawk. "Now, as I was saying...I believe it was at the black-hole sized bullet hole, I believe. Just like one, sucks everything up and doesn't let it out." He took one of the cigars he stole from Aftershock, smelled it, eyeballed it, and threw it into the audience. "AHHHH! MY EYE!" echoed out. "Don't know where that cigar has been...Fuck, rambling...anyway, I would like to invite Muqtada, my boss, to help me in my feature presentation...A SALUTE TO MARIETTA. He took a remote from his pocket and flipped the 'On'. Two screens come out, for both the audience and the roasters. Muqtada tripped on the homo-cigar on the way up. Hawk helped him up. It was a slideshow. The first picture was Marietta and Zoey, arms around each other's shoulders. "This, folks, is when Marietta slept her way to the top. This is the two of them agreeing to trade sex for the porno shop in Estrogen City. Guess who starred." said Hawk, flipping the next button. |
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| Reply by: Thehawk at Feb 02, '09 22:48 | |
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*steps up to the podium* *uses the homo-cigar Muqtada tripped on to roll himself a fatty* *lites and inhales* *blows the smoke in Thehawks face and addresses the Godmother* *looks at Marietta* You're one hell of a whore! I mean, you're all we need and more. Miss. PMS! I mean, Prays to Marietta's Solutions. You got a damn answer to everything huh? So tell me Miss Marietta. We're roasting you, but who alls meat has been on your grill? *crowd laughs* What do you call a prostitution ring on the corner of Detroit's downtown area? Marietta's HQ *looks over at Marietta and smiles* We're all doing it in your buns. I mean, in fun. Yeah, We're all doing this in fun! *walks over and hugs the Godmother* |
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| Reply by: JamaicanDon_Marley at Feb 03, '09 00:02 | |
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| your the only one that knows how to roast | |
| Reply by: whitty at Feb 03, '09 19:53 | |
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marietta likes big macs and she cannot lie she eats em with a steak and fries when a dude walks in wit a 48 waist and a big make in his face she gets sprung her belly flops with a keg between her legs like a big ass pop shes big not strong an down to get her buffet on so fast food(yeah)fast food(yeah) if food is driving you crazy call 1-800-EAT-ALOT and kick them ol stale mac's marietta is fat HHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| Reply by: whitty at Feb 03, '09 20:02 | |
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| It's true. My ass is the size of Texas. That's the price you pay for having fifteen illegitimate children, though. | |
| Reply by: Marietta at Feb 05, '09 13:38 | |
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