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| A Troublesome Rourke Ratio | Started by: MacLeod on Feb 04, '09 20:37 |
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Clearing his throat amidst all the congratulations to new auths, a young man begins to speak in the streets. Ladies and Gentlemen, There are those who will examine current trends in the number of auths and critique them. I only wish these new leaders the best of luck. Regardless of whether recent trends are right or wrong, I have a much more serious issue to bring in front of you today. That is: our Rourke to CL ratio. For many moons we have been blessed with a plethora of Rourkes. Or plagued, if you are an Anti-Rourkite. But tonight I have shocking news for you! Yes, shocking! Number of Current CLs: 18 Number of Living Rourkes: 11 Number of Total Rourkes Ever: 24 Verily, verily our world is fraught with danger when there are 7 more CLs on the streets than Rourkes. In the past we have been able to maintain a high potency of Rourke-ness with a good Rourke to CL ratio. Who can say what will happen now? For God's sake, there are almost more CLs currently authed than the total number of Rourkes who have ever existed. And that is counting a couple of freakish Piastas! Are the Rourkes (heaven preserve us) declining? Is their formidable power being sapped from them by malevolent wizards? Or is this just part of a larger Circle of Rourke that governs all creatures, which will eventually result in increased numbers of Rourke-ness? Or are the Rourkes merely luring the world into a false sense of security as they grow in rank and prestige? I, for one, am concerned- when CLs cannot even have a Rourke of their own who knows what chaos will result? I attempted to find out how Rourkes reproduced, so that more could be created, but I was only told, at various times, that Rourkes both reproduce by "do(ing) it through the butt" and reproduce "with yer nan". When I attempted to inquire further I was only told "Let me show you"... at which point I fled the premises. Perhaps Ms. Aurora should be questioned about this, who is suspected of having a Rourke fetish and/or Rourke relations. With those disturbing words, MacLeod raises a thoughtful glass of whiskey. |
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Dear Rourkeless person. Let me assure you that we are trying our best to perfect the cloning process and that sooner than later, you will see multiple rourke clones running around MRland. Until then, for those who suffer from the lack of Rourkeness in their crew, whenever you have need for that special thing that is a Rourke, sit down, grab a bite of herring, and say to yourself "WWARD". "(W)hat (W)ould (A) (R)ourke (D)o?" |
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| Reply by: Fu-ManjuRourke at Feb 04, '09 21:37 | |
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Rourkey pours himself a glass of whiskey Fumanji my besty from another mother, I would be careful casually using acronyms around here like that. It is commonly known that The GRHS Society holds patents, trademarks, and copyrights on virtually all acronyms these days. |
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| Reply by: RourkeyRourke at Feb 04, '09 21:42 | |
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| i sure do love them Rourke's | |
| Reply by: LuckyLuciano at Feb 04, '09 22:37 | |
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Marietta ponders the words of her associate, MacLeod, for quite some time before finally speaking up. MacLeod, for once in my life I truly hate you. Please, for the love of God and all else that is Holy, do not encourage the Rourkes to reproduce. Do not encourage them to experiment with cloning. Do not speak to them, I forbid you to make eye contact with them. The woman exhales in a huff, shaking her head at the man and concentrating all her might, wishing against all hope that she can use psychic force to will the glass of whiskey in his hand to explode and shatter his face with glass shards. Giving up after a few minutes, her head begins to throb painfully as she narrows her eyes once more at the speaker. Are there currently too few Rourkes? No. Oh fuck no. I agree above and beyond to kill and set fire to the Rourkes we have left, but unfortunately I am an honorary Rourke, which would mean committing suicide... and that is something I have in store for myself in my later years when I can no longer control my bowel functions. That, and have you ever tried to kill a Rourke? When you kill one, five more appear. It's like the coming of the Anti-Christ with how fast they multiply. So while the current number we have is alarming... let it be. It could be a lot, lot worse. |
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| Reply by: Marietta at Feb 05, '09 12:28 | |
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That's just what I wanted to be the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning. A discussion of the possibilty of more Rourke's and Marietta's bowel movements. Oh My God people! Please! I haven't even had my coffee this morning. And now I don't even want to. I just need to go back to sleep and try to start this day all over. Pulls the covers over his eyes, then throws them off. But I can't. Those images will haunt me forever! |
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| Reply by: Brick_Pollitt at Feb 05, '09 12:37 | |
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There's another favorite method of our's for reproduction. We make group trips to the different cities and visit the local sperm bank. They give us a five gallon bucket and our own room. We cheer each other on and have a grand old time until the bucket is filled. They freeze the bucket and it's payload of life until a lucky lady walks in. Then they just ice pick a few chunks off, thaw it out, grab a turkey baster and a new life is created. A beautiful new Rourke. |
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| Reply by: PhatballzRourke at Feb 05, '09 13:07 | |
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| ForkRourke prances around while patting his groin | |
| Reply by: ForkRourke at Feb 05, '09 16:56 | |
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| <3 rourke's | |
| Reply by: Crunch at Feb 05, '09 17:22 | |
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Rourke's scare me. I think theyre capitalists! |
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| Reply by: Cav at Feb 05, '09 17:32 | |
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| I love Rourke's they are cool, funny, and some are Sexy :P | |
| Reply by: DeathKnight at Feb 05, '09 17:41 | |
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