Hello people, 

   I have a serious question I need help with I have a best friend of some odd 15years... well he started dating my fiancé sister. They moved in with each other like a month ago and both of them have children, we'll my fiancé through a friend that her sister was cheating on my friend and my fiancé confronted her sister about it, and she came clean about it. 

Then my fiancé broke it to me. I don't know what to do, should I confront my best friend about it and tell him, I know he might not belive me....or should I wait and see if she tells him? 

1. If I tell him, he may disbelieve me...but if he finds out I knew I don't want him to be mad that way either.

2. If she tells him I have a feeling she will try to spin it in her favor stating that she was like a victim or some shit.

I'm open to your thoughts....

badass, this is what we call a shitty situation. My best advice is like this.

Tell him, and then be ready to duck. 

If you were in his situation would you want him to tell you?

Hard to say... some would not want to be the last to know. Some won't believe you, and be pissed at you for telling them....You could always try and get the friend to talk to his gf somehow....you are between a rock and hard place ....anything you do could bite you in the ass....but you should know your friend well....would he like to know ...but then again males might be different then females... or you could get her to cop to it, and be honest about it and forthcoming. Then they work it out amongst themselves. She should really be honest about it, if she cares anything for him at all. Good Luck!

In this situation, the messenger will almost always get shot. Not really any doubts on that.

What you must ask yourself is; Would you want your friend to continue to get fucked over like this, or would you want your friend to be mad at you for revealing it? A real friend is always going to accept being the target of his anger provided you can protect him from any further hurt, so my advice is to tell him.

But, its not an easy choice. If I were him though, I'd want to know and I'm sure you would too.

tell your friend with your fiance present and put forward any and all evidence you have, see if you can get the "cheater" on "tape" talking about it, sure its sneaky but so is cheating

I'm all about honesty in relationships. Whether it's a friendship or a romantic relationship.

I'm not as concerned with how your friend will take it. He's your friend. Of course he'll be hurt, but I'm sure once the sting of it goes away he'd be thankful that you told him instead of letting it carry on. If he found out you knew and didn't tell him though, that is a possible way to destroy a friendship. Instead of feeling betrayed by just her, he'd also probably feel betrayed by you... maybe even more so you than her. Girls come and go, but bros are supposed to stick together! Bros before hoes and all that shiz.

Honestly though, you really should ask your fiance for her advice. That is her sister. How will your fiance feel if she found out what she told you, in what I'm assuming was in confidence, wasn't kept between you two? That could potentially cause a rift within her family as it would come back on her.  So I would really suggest you talk to her and find out what she thinks, maybe the both of you can come up with something. Or at least tell her that you will be telling him BEFORE you actually tell him. At least that way she'll have a heads up that shit may hit the fan. And get ready for any backlash you may receive for it, although I'm hoping she is understanding.

You are in quite a pickle... and I have a feeling more than just your friend is going to get hurt. This is why I try not to get involved in other people's relationships and try my hardest to keep my head in the sand. It's a lose/lose situation when you get put in the middle of this kind of drama.

You clearly care about his friendship and you need to tell him the truth. Maybe he wont believe you at first or be mad at you, however in my friend a real friend does not mind that heat if it means being a good friend. Be a hell of a lot worse if you did not tell him and he finds out the hard way then he will be really pissed at you. 

Personally id say make a fake facebook account and send him the info if he is on facebook, someone did it to me when my last girlfriend was fucking around. I appreciated knowing

do what leslie says if possible use the name of the guy she cheated on ur friend with lol

"A real friend is always going to accept being the target of his anger provided you can protect him from any further hurt, so my advice is to tell him."

I agree with this statement...just remember that the way you deliver the message is also important in determining his possible reaction.

It's hard but my advice is don't tell him. In my experience, even though I'm only 17, it's never a good thing to get involved in other people's relationships no matter if it's your best friend or not. You'll find that it's much more likely that your friendship will suffer if you tell him rather than his relationship.

Well I asked my mom and fiancé and my dad they all told me to leave it be and let her be the one if she does.... I don't really fill good about it but they are older and I guess know better. My fiancé said something to her and I think she said something to him but in know way told him the truth and spun it in her favor because he was only pissed off for like a day (wouldn't tell me why) then he was cool she still works where she messed around with this guy so I know she didn't tell the truth. So I don't know... I guess I'll let thier personal lives be their personal.  Though I don't fill right about it. 

How I look at it is this: If somebody was stealing from your friend would you tell him?  Or continue to let him get robbed. 

The answer, of course, is you'd tell him.  That way he could protect his valuables.   Your fiances sister is, frankly, 'stealing' his time when he could be far better of being with somebody who deserves his time and attention.

If he was to find out you knew and didn't tell him, that could very well be the end of your friendship.   If he doesn't believe you when you tell him, well he will fall out with you, but eventually he will learn the truth and those bridges can be mended.