Ascanius steps out swinging a gold wristwatch on a chain, and smoking a cigarette. He takes a seat on the sidewalk and puts his pack of cigarettes to his side, expecting to chainsmoke them all. He waits for a crowd to gather.

Some people thought this day would never come, but here it is in a way. It is a story about an aunt and her two nephews on an adventure in New York. In some ways, it’s imaginative of real people, of what could be. I won’t bore you with any more details, but more importantly, I don’t want to give anything else away, as I’ll be telling this yarn to you. It begins:

Siobhan woke up early in the morning. She got herself dressed in a teal dress and put on a large purple hat with a peacock’s plume sticking out of the top. Today was a special day for her. She was going to finally do it. She was going to see her nephews. With an eye roll and a sigh, she left her home and took a train to Manhattan. In Manhattan, she went to the daycare center where her two nephews spent their days building small skyscrapers with blocks, and painting blobs of color onto thick paper.

These blobs were special to her. She saw past the blobs and saw images of herself in them, with her nephews, smiling. She saw animals. She saw detailed drawings of the stars and their constellations, even what seemed to be a pole standing the sky in twilight. The caregivers at the preschool didn’t seem to share this view on the art these two children would produce, but Siobhan had never really spoken to them. In fact, there was some concern as these children were quite a bit old to still be in preschool, by almost two decades, but nonetheless, she appreciated them dearly and put them up on her refrigerator with magnets.

She walked into the preschool and there one of them was. He stood out amongst the rest of his classmates, but to her it was because of his bright smile! This was her dear nephew, the one with innocent eyes and a penchant for Asian drawings that some felt were a bit taboo for him to see, but she still would share these pictures with him whenever he requested her to purchase them down in Chinatown. This was her dearest Kittyhawk. Kittyhawk was staring at one of the girls in the glass, and drooling ever so slightly, but when he saw his Aunt Siobhan, his eyes lit up, and he quickly demanded some of those drawings. However, today, she brought none. She had a bigger surprise in store for him, and she was going to keep it secret until the last moment that she could.

On the other side of the playroom, there was her other nephew. She was his favorite aunt, but he could’ve had several. He too had a very bright smile, and a lip ring. He was grinning and chewing on a piece of candy. She walked over to him with Kittyhawk and they all embraced. MalcomReynolds was overjoyed by all of this as they were reunited once again in sweet caresses of pure love, and there was a magical in the air though he far from knew what was in store for them, or for that matter what day it was as he was too preoccupied with a candy business he had started.

They decided to leave then. Without a word or explanation, Siobhan left with her two nephews and they began to go to Central Park, but they stopped to pick up some hotdogs on the way from a street vendor for a few cents. MalcolmReynold’s swallowed his hotdog down whole, while Kittyhawk took his time with it. Siobhan ate hers tastefully being sure not to get sauerkraut on her dress. They walked through the park for a bit and then got out back onto the street. She noticed a few police officers eyeing her, but she paid them no mind.

Finally, they took a train as they were going to the Bronx. They walked on the Grand Concourse in all its beauty, and continued east. They eventually neared their destination, a place where they had been dreaming of going for ever-so long. Kittyhawk and MalcolmReynold’s became infatuated from a distance with the gates to the entrance.

Outside, they saw a sign for the Bronx Zoo, and though they could not read this, Siobhan was sure to translate for them. Once they understood, Kittyhawk peed his pants in joy. Siobhan changed his diaper by laying him out on the sidewalk. People stared at this and laughed because he was laughing too, in his giggly way as she put some talcum powder on him. He was a happy clean boy. Finally, they purchased their tickets for entrance. Siobhan’s heart was beating so fast with happiness that she had to take a minute to calm down, as she felt faint. But once she looked upon the smiles of the two boys she was with, she was right as rain.

The first thing they went to see was the aviary, filled with colorful birds. The noise of the birds was a bit unbearable at first, but they soon became accustom to it. A wild parrot flew and landed on Kittyhawk’s shoulder, and began to try to peck at his eye but Siobhan swatted it away remembering that there’s only room for one beloved pirate in this world, and that’s… not Eepster, but rather Captain Cooke! And so they continued walking around, and finally they found some peacocks. A peacock started approaching Siobhan, thinking it had found its mate due to the plume on the top of her head. It began to pounce on her, but Kittyhawk and MalcolmReynolds lured it away with candy.

Just as they were exiting, a pigeon that had somehow got into the area left a blotchy yellow, white, and grey dropping on the top of MalcolmReynold’s head. He began to cry, and Kittyhawk began to laugh. However, Kittyhawk began to cry too in a few moments seemingly for no apparent reason. Siobhan wiped MalcolmReynold’s hair clean, and decided to change his diaper as well, and he giggled and cooed and they were all happy again and embraced.

The next area they went to was to see the reptiles. Kittyhawk was scared of these little beasts and he looked on in fright as they scaled rocks. An iguana fascinated MalcolmReynold’s. He tirelessly spent time trying to lock eye contact with it to no avail. It took him a while to realize that its eyes were not like his own. His Auntie Siobhan began to explain what bit she knew about the reptiles and how they viewed the world. Kittyhawk watched a komodo dragon open its mouth wide, and he proceeded to pee his pants once more, but Siobhan had run out of diapers for him. He didn’t mind walking around in his wetness though.

They walked out and saw an area with elephants. This excited Kittyhawk as he liked their long trunks and he thought of all the fun they could have playing together. MalcolmReynold’s was handed some food by a zookeeper and he tossed it to the elephant that proceeded to pick it up with its trunk. In this section, Kittyhawk felt he saw the ghost of Ziva, and peed a little more, but his Aunt Siobhan assured him that there was nothing there.

They walked onward and found an enclosed area with butterflies. MalcolmReynold’s couldn’t resist touching their wings, and they were soon escorted out. As they were taken out of the entrance to get to the butterflies, they saw Whatsername standing with a sign that stated, “Set Them Free: Wings Aren’t to be Touched.”

They continued onward with their journey, and Siobhan saw a police officer asking questions. She quickly ushered the children over to the section containing the lions, and soon after entering they saw iocaste-. He looked up at them, and held a cardboard sign: This is only a day job. Give me bacon.

They had no bacon to give and so he roared and then went back to sleep because he’s a lazy lion. They decided not to stay since it was awkward that they didn’t have bacon to give, and Kittyhawk was thirsty since he had peed so much. They managed to find a concession stand, and Siobhan bought them both lemonades. This concession stand advertised that it was selling “Kernel Jin’s Popping Corn,” “Fresh Mako Tacos,” “ginstergingerale,” and of course “Goku Smo-kews.”  They didn’t have any orange juice, which is what Kittyhawk really wanted. The man behind the concession counter told Siobhan that they imported all of their food from Chicago daily, and so she purchased one of each to try.

After eating, they were quite full and Siobhan saw a bigger group of policemen so she continued on with the nephews of hers that were so dear to go see the bears. Amethyst’s teddy was lying on the floor face down with some stuffing sticking out of him. They saw two bear-like creatures in bright colors licking each other’s tongues. They then saw a rainbow colored Jeddy, and Kittyhawk tossed him some of his Kernel Jin Popping Corn. Jeddy let out a loud bear bellow and Kittyhawk couldn’t control himself and lost his lemonade not so soon after drinking it due to his wild giggles.

They moved on and saw a crowd of GOATS. This was a petting zoo section of the zoo, and so MalcolmReynolds’ walked up to pet the smallest goat, the BabyGOAT. However, moments after petting him, the BabyGOAT ate his shoes. MalcolmReynolds cried a bit as he realized he would be barefoot until he returned home, but he had no volition to go home just yet. He began grinning again and looked up at the sun with a positive attitude, thinking that today was the best day ever, with or without shoes.  Kittyhawk walked up to the KingGOAT and touched his horns. Never had Kittyhawk felt something so great, but he was empty of urine so there was no extra mess made. Siobhan, Kittyhawk, and MalcolmReynolds proceeded to hug each and every goat. Kittyhawk didn’t even mind that he was stepping on excrement on the ground. The GingerGOAT was in a jovial mood and nudged MalcolmReynolds with his horns sweetly, and they embraced. The DanTheManGOAT walked up slowly to Kittyhawk and licked Kittyhawk’s cheek. They locked eyes with each other before embracing, a very sweet embrace that can only usually be found when intoxicated below the border in Mexico while sipping on tequila. Of course, they were both too young for this. The CaptainGOAT was sipping from a bowl of orange juice, and Kittyhawk knelt down and took a few laps of it onto his tongue, overjoyed with his discovery. The VisionaryGOAT stood tall and MalcolmReynolds looked into his eyes. They started at each other for several moments before the VisionaryGOAT started chewing on some hay. The MakoGOAT had on a silk scarf. He was eating a Mako Taco, and both Kittyhawk and MalcolmReynolds and Auntie Siobhan ran up to hug him. He was a lovely goat.

They moved on from this section and came to a tortoise section. The tortoises were large and green. Their skin looked dry, but they moved around with some life, very little though as their walking speed was so slow. Kittyhawk and MalcolmReynolds both insisted that they ride on top of them, but their responsible Aunt Siobhan held them back from trying. They continued on to find an area with penguins, black and white and eating day old fish. Kittyhawk spent his time imagining what it would be like to live with them in a colony, and to eat their fishes. Siobhan smiled. She thought of the three of them living with the penguins, in harmony. This thought made her very happy and she rolled her eyes.

The next section they moved to was an area with tigers, but they felt they weren’t as pretty as the lions. However, they did see a tita leopard, and they ran away quickly into another section. The next section they were in was one for hippopotamuses. The hippos chomped away into the air, as they were hungry. They soon submerged themselves, and the section became quite boring. Kittyhawk expressed that he didn’t want to see any alligators or crocodiles because they could eat him in one bite.

Next, Siobhan took them to a small aquarium section. On the sand, they saw a crab standing triumphantly in a victory stance. They saw some mollusks and tanks with seahorses in them. A husky ran through and started barking, scaring little Kittyhawk and MalcolmReynolds.

They moved to another section with cows. It was odd that there were cows in this zoo, but this was in a rundown section, and it could’ve been someone’s backyard nearby. One cow mooed and had glorious purple lacquer painted hooves. Kittyhawk pet this cow and it mooed some more.

They walked back to the main area, and Siobhan, the beloved aunt of Kittyhawk and MalcolmReynolds noticed that more police were forming, and they were holding up pictures asking around for two lost boys.

Siobhan spent a few moments sitting on a bench with the two nephews thinking of how glorious of a day it was to be with her two favorite boys. The time they shared together still felt everlasting despite the fact that she knew it was going to come to an end shortly. She kissed each of the boys on their cheeks, and the still empty Kittyhawk didn’t wet his pants. She said to them that she would meet them back at the bench, and that they shouldn’t go anywhere.

Siobhan exited the zoo, and tossed her hat into a nearby garbage can. She walked into a cheap clothing store and bought new black dress. She hailed a cab to take it back to Queens, and once at home, she fell asleep, sleeping the sleep of the gods, a euphoric sleep, dreaming of her never-ending utopian life at the zoo with her two nephews.

Within a few hours, Kittyhawk and MalcomReynolds had become quite restless waiting, and they had become too tired to swing their legs on the bench. Policemen finally approached them and put the pictures to their faces. It seemed it was a match. The nephews were taken into a police car, and driven back into Manhattan.

They were asked whom they had been brought to the zoo by, but neither child was able to articulate much of anything. They just blew bubbles with their saliva and cooed once back at the daycare center with their cups of orange juice. It was an end to a lovely day, and the police felt that there was no harm done aside from the fact that Kittyhawk’s pants were wet and they would have to clean the backseat of their car.

The day would live on forever in their memories. For weeks, Aunt Siobhan, Kittyhawk, and MalcolmReynolds would think of that day and feel never be able to find another to match up to it. The nephews only could hope that their beloved Auntie Siobhan would sweep them up again to take them on another adventure.