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| Transforming your Wealth into Debt. | Started by: Brick_Pollitt on Feb 10, '09 14:58 |
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Brick was struggling to push his mobile bank down the sidewalk toward one of the many empty street corners. Off in the distance he saw a small group discussing a raffle, and the other way there were a few stragglers listening to something about qualities of a leader. He stopped his mobile bank and set up. Okay, so it wasn't as much a "mobile bank" as it was a converted weenie cart with some cash stuffed where the buns used to be and his assistant where the sodas once were. Any way, Brick was dressed in his finest suit, yes that's right...his birthday suit, accessorized appropriately with his aluminum foil helmet and cod piece made from saran wrap. It wasn't so much to cover as it was to support. He took out some of the cash and threw it on the ground. And the gangsters came running. They couldn't get out of the 7/11 fast enough, and Brick had his crowd. Yes, yes, my people. Quite a crowd here today. Well good day ladies and gentlemen...and Rourkes. Today I am introducing a new program. It is a unique idea. Sure, "experts" say it's only unique because it's stupid, but I truly believe it will work. And after today, you will too. You've all heard of transforming your debt to wealth. What? pushes his assistant back in the soda bin and closes the cover. You haven't? Of course you have. Trust me. You've heard of it. Anyway, anyway, today I bring to you - Transforming your Wealth to Debt. That's right. I'm offering you the opportunity to get rid of that ridiculous wealth you have. Is your money driving you crazy? Are you walking around the streets with a 20 something year old bimbo whose only interested in you for your money? What? Okay, bad example. Are you inundated with requests from "old friends" hoping to reconnect? Is your third cousin asking for a loan? Or worse, are thugs constantly asking you for money with requests like: Gev me uh lone pleeze?! Now your problems are solved. I can help you get rid of all that moeny so no one will ever bother you again. It's easy and can be done in three easy steps. That's right. Three easy steps. 1 - 2 - 3. 1 - Take the money out of your account. 2 - kiss it goodbye 3 - wire it to me. That's Brick_Pollitt. B-R-I-C-K_P-O-L-L-I-T-T And just like that your money will be gone. Your wealth will be transformed to debt and it can be done in less than 30 days. Act now, and I can virtually guarantee that it will be gone within 30 seconds. Or, I will give you your money bac...errm, will keep your money risk free. So ladies and gentlemen...and even Rourkes. Act now. Hurry before the offer expires. As an added bonus, you'll receive fame and recognition as your wires will be posted on this here street corner for all to see your stupi...generosity. *Disclaimer: All wire transfers are final. The only way to ever get your money back is to steal it from my pockets $5k at a time. |
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It worked for me! Your accountant makes note that $5,000 has been wired to Brick_Pollitt from your account. I havnt seen it since and it only took a matter of seconds! |
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| Reply by: LessThan at Feb 10, '09 15:01 | |
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Here are some of the success stories so far: Feb 10, '09 15:01 Your accountant has received payment of $5,000 from LessThan. Feb 10, '09 10:13 Your accountant has received payment of $5,000 from MissFreedom. Feb 09, '09 23:38 Your accountant has received payment of $2 from Munchkin. Feb 09, '09 12:27 Your accountant has received payment of $6,666 from Fu-ManjuRourke. Don't you want to be a success story too? And by the way - you guys are seriously poor. This stinks. I'm going back to selling hot dogs and ice cream. |
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| Reply by: Brick_Pollitt at Feb 10, '09 18:17 | |
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| I'd just like to say that this program will absolutely transform your wealth into debt! I married into this program and now I'm completely poor! Fantastic work Brick, you swindling, money-grubbing, slow and methodical burly man you! | |
| Reply by: NikkiPhoenix at Feb 10, '09 21:12 | |
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*looks at Brick wanting his $1 back* Hey man I gave you a dollar for a beef hotdog! This is pork! *turns his nose up and lites a joint to calm his nerves* |
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| Reply by: Kingston_Assassin at Feb 10, '09 21:19 | |
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| technically debt is when you owe someone so its Wealth to poverty not wealth to debt lol but sounds nice for you either ways | |
| Reply by: Stebzino at Feb 10, '09 21:45 | |
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Feb 10, '09 21:17 Your accountant has received payment of $1 from Kingston_Assassin. Feb 10, '09 18:38 Your accountant has received payment of $69 from Sayyid. Welcome my two most recent "satisfied" customers. Shut up Kingston. I said - no refunds. And Stepzino - if you have no money, you'll resort to begging others for loans, and then you'll be in debt. Duh. And Nikki. My dearest Nikki. Luckily you married for love. Gives her the dollar he got from Kingston. Now go buy yourself something nice. |
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| Reply by: Brick_Pollitt at Feb 10, '09 22:10 | |
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you have the answer to all earthly problems don't you brick? let me be your follower? pllllllllz:/ ps sarcasm is great:O) |
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| Reply by: Stebzino at Feb 10, '09 22:14 | |
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| Indeed, I 69'ed Brick_Pollitt and even remembered to kiss it goodbye. The entire experience left me feeling satisfied. Next time someone reaches into my pants, my wallet will be a little emptier. Thanks, Brick! | |
| Reply by: Sayyid at Feb 10, '09 22:27 | |
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Brick shakes his head. Oh, Stebzino. Just 'cause you're not a believer in the plan, doesn't mean you have to ruin everbody else's hope. And Sayyid, anytime. The first hour is $69. Next time, it'll cost extra. Feb 10, '09 22:53 Your accountant has received payment of $10,000 from The-Black-Prince. Our most recent happy customer. Thanks Prince. No more thugs begging you for money. You have been cleansed of the horror that money produces. |
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| Reply by: Brick_Pollitt at Feb 10, '09 23:00 | |
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Dimitri shook his head and laughed. "Sorry man. I'd buy into your sca- I mean mission of mercy, but I'm a practicing Yen Buddhist." A visionary light entered Dimitri's eyes as he put his hand over his heart. "It is our mission to save our fellow humans from the sin of being rich. Sadly we ourselves are damned, for only by accumulating as much sin as possible can we keep it out of the hands of those we must save." |
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| Reply by: Dimitri_Kobayashi at Feb 11, '09 00:27 | |
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Feb 11, '09 01:16 Your accountant has received payment of $150,000 from Inferno-Conjurer. Yet another satisfied customer. What the hell are all the rest of you waiting for? Offer will expire soon. |
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| Reply by: Brick_Pollitt at Feb 11, '09 01:25 | |
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I will wire you the money as soon as I put my house up for sell and probably my spouse as well. I just can't wait till I put on my birthday suit and walk the streets proud, broke and Naked!!! PS: If your intrested in buying a house which comes with a loving Spouse. You can Contact me by screaming my name outside one of the Bars. I forgot which one, I have been here for a while now....The bartender won't let me leave till i pay up all the debt on my tab. Which works for me cuz i dont plan on leaving...my darling spouse sent a hitman on me for trying to sell her own e-bay :S sigh anyways, support the hus-, I mean the wealth to debt plan before the offer expires. |
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| Reply by: DonBonano at Feb 11, '09 06:31 | |
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Your accountant makes note that $50 has been wired to Brick_Pollitt from your account. Wealth to debt worked for me! What about you? |
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| Reply by: MrShady at Feb 11, '09 18:03 | |
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| I turned my wealth to dect,... damn gambling addiction :P | |
| Reply by: A-Mac at Feb 12, '09 09:51 | |
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Since i sent my money in No One has taken anything from me during a pickpocket! Thanks! |
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| Reply by: LessThan at Feb 12, '09 14:18 | |
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