It was a bright and sunny late spring day, and Siobhan stepped out onto her brownstone’s steps to breathe in the air as a garbage truck rolled by. She knew that today would be special. Whenever she sensed that she would have a special day, her eyes would roll and she would dream of her two nephews, the dear sweet Kittyhawk, and of course MalcolmReynolds.

She went inside to shower, and pack her things. She packed many things into her bag that she knew the boys would enjoy. She was excited, and frantically tossed colorful items for them, just knowing they would be overjoyed to experience the day with her and that they would love the toys she would be bringing for them.

She left her home and went first to find MalcolmReynolds. She took a bus into Brooklyn, and saw him through a window cooing and laughing at his wet nurse dangling trinkets in front of him. A slight feeling of jealousy flowed into Siobhan, but she knew she was more special to him. She was his Auntie. And so she waited. The wet nurse left the room, and Siobhan tapped on the glass. MalcolmReynold’s eyes grew wide and bright and he crawled quickly over to the windowpane. He too knew now that today was going to be a special day.

Siobhan took something out of her bag and drew a large circle on the glass, gestured to him to step back, and then as it fell, she grabbed him through it. They frolicked down Bedford Avenue, skipping and holding hands, with shouts and screams and tears off in the distance. However, those did them no harm, as they were in utter bliss.

The next stop would be to find their dearest Kittyhawk. He had recently moved out of the city, but visited frequently. They ventured into Manhattan by subway, and made their way to Times Square. There he was, the dear sweet Kittyhawk, wrapped in towels sitting on a roller cart holding a sign asking for orange juice. Without even turning around to see Auntie, they noticed his towels yellow in dripping joy.

It was easy for Siobhan and MalcolmReynolds to get their Kittyhawk, as they just simply rolled him away, without anyone minding. She took them into a fountain nearby and bathed her Kittyhawk who was deeply soiled. Rebirthed and cleaned, he emerged from the fountain as a bouncing gleeful little boy!

She decided to tell the boys where she’d be taking them for the day. They were going to the museum. She was going to take them to the Museum of Natural History and so they got into a horse driven carriage to take it up Central Park West. They hopped off, and Kittyhawk and MalcolmReynolds were so excited. However, upon entering, Kittyhawk soon wet himself, not out of joy, but out of fear. A large dinosaur was above them, and Kittyhawk was scared stiff. Auntie gave him a pat on the back for reassurance, but she soon realized that this place might be too much for the boys. She decided to make a change of plans.

And so onward to the Metropolitan Museum of Art through the park they went. They walked up the stairs to the museum. Kittyhawk was so excited, but he knew that he couldn’t make a mess in this place, and MalcolmReynolds looked around in awe as they entered. Siobhan decided to take them directly to the Egyptian section, and Kittyhawk was mesmerized but unafraid of the mummies and sarcophaguses. MalcolmReynolds admired the gold gilded bowls. They walked into a tomb, and looked at all the graffiti. Kittyhawk peed himself knowing that he would be leaving his mark on history here.

They started to go into the other sections. They looked at the Roman and Greek artifacts, but MalcolmReynolds and Kittyhawk shied away from the nude artwork, with blushes on their faces. They went into rooms filled with Renaissance paintings, and it was here that Siobhan decided yet again to make another change for their day trip.

She looked around for guards, and noticed none around. She took out a knife, cut the wire holding up a painting of Venus, and she told the boys they were going to play a game. She said to them, “First one outside gets a pretzel.” The boys jumped in the air and bolted to the front, and she followed behind, figuring that they would be a good distraction. Once they were all outside, they got into a motorcar cab. She sat in the front seat and the boys sat in the back. She told the driver to take them to North Beach Airport, and Siobhan listened to police car sirens. She took something out of her bag and put it to the driver’s lap. The car sped along faster, and it winded out of Manhattan and through Queens. The boys looked at her in want. They were still expecting a pretzel. She gave them each a bag from her purse with her free hand. They made it to the airport and she gave the driver some cash. They exited the car, and went into the terminal. Siobhan spoke with someone behind a counter and purchased three tickets. They were going to London. She knew some people there who had a penchant for art.

They went through security and when the guard asked who the painting was of, MalcolmReynolds said, “That’s my aunt!” They giggled, and went to wait for the plane. They got onto the plane, and there weren’t too many passengers. Siobhan thought to herself that this was a good sign. They took their seats and were given peanuts, and Kittyhawk peed himself on takeoff.

For a little while, they slept, and then Siobhan woke up and started making her way to the front of the plane. She took out the same knife she had used in the museum, and cut the throat of a flight attendant. She dragged the body into a nearby water closet, and put on the uniform. She locked the door from the outside, and walked over to the boys who saw her and thought they were going to play dress up. She gave Kittyhawk her sunglasses, and she gave MalcolmReynolds some lipstick.

She walked back to the front of the plane, and knocked on the cockpit’s cabin. She stepped in and shut the door behind her. She took her gun out, which she had neatly tucked to her thigh, and put it to the second captain’s head. She didn’t hesitate and pulled the trigger. The plane ducked a little bit, but the senior captain managed to get hold of the plane. She opened the door to the cockpit and called for Kittyhawk. He came scampering in. She pulled the trigger again killing the captain, and she removed him from his seat. She placed Kittyhawk on it, and gave him her high heels from her bag so he could reach the pedals. She said, “I know this might be hard for you, but go straight.”

She called for MalcolmReynolds and he came into the cabin. She walked out of it, and went down the aisle with her gun, gathering the valuables of the passengers, and offing them one by one, taking only moments to reload, and being sure not to shoot through a window so they wouldn’t lose cabin pressure. When her bag was overstuffed, and the passengers were dead, she walked back to the cockpit. She found MalcolmReynolds making funny sounds into the radio. She told them stories of London, and about the Queen and the jewels. She told them about the accents, and Kittyhawk was dehydrated so he couldn’t pee. She went to get him some water. She took the seat from Kittyhawk, and landed them at the Great West Aerodrome. Kittyhawk now felt like he could pee again. They exited the plane regularly at a terminal, and she flashed her flight attendant badge to people as she passed through security. She found a car idling outside the front of the airport, and she took the boys in it.

They drove to London and there, they found Amethyst. Amethyst and Siobhan both got into a gunfight over MalcolmReynolds. Neither was wounded in the fight, but Amethyst made it away with the sweet and innocent MalcolmReynolds. Siobhan cried with her sweet Kittyhawk as they looked up at Big Ben striking at six. She would have her revenge, and her MalcolmReynolds back, but first, she would find a buyer for the painting. 

I can confirm that this is all completely factual/

Now everyone knows the truth on how MalcomReynolds made it to London >.>

lmao