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| Your King Needs You! | Started by: KingOfOnePercent on Feb 17, '09 18:53 |
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Arriving on the streets to a glorious fanfare and a great number of cheering subjects stretching back as far as the eye could see; KingOfOnePercent was simply the embodiment of splendour. Advancing forward in a regal fashion on his trusty three wheeled unicycle, his majestic crown drew the glance of many a sweet little filly, each as eager as the next to be his latest cumdumpster-in-waiting. Dismounting gracefully, the King held up his hands for quiet and began to speak in a booming voice. Kingdom of Mafie! I apologise for my lack of public dispatch recently, the Royal Household of OnePercent have been mourning the loss of one of our most trusted subjects, Sir whitty. His death was heartwrenching as it was premature, but life must nevertheless go on. A full state funeral has been held and it is time for us all to move forward. Of course, this means a new Poet Laureate must be appointed, as per tradition. Whitty, as I'm sure you are all aware, excelled in his duties as a lyrical genius, as did LuckyLuciano before him; but it is now time to turn over and start anew. However, sitting in my throne room with Poop...No, let me rephrase. Whilst sitting in the royal chambers with my son, PrinceOfOnePercent, we racked our brains for who we thought best to succeed whitty as the next Poet Laureate, but all we could draw were blanks. Therefore, citizens of Mafie, it is my duty and pleasure to announce that I will be holding a competition to decide who will be my new Poet Laureate. Throw down a beat, dedicate an ode, do whatever you feel best to convince me that you are the (wo)man for this position. The most able candidate will receive a chest of cold coinage, as well as further purses each full to the prim with monies depending on performance. You will receive the Royal Seal of Approval and be endorsed by the OnePercent dynasty for all matters poetical. And, of course, you will be given the prestiguous title of Poet Laureate to King, by Grace of God, of OnePercent and His Realms and Territories, Defender of the Faith. Upon finishing his speech, KingOfOnePercent swiftly departed, leaving behind a trailing ermine robe and the faint scent of sweaty testicles. The crowd began murmuring excitedly... |
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