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| How NOT to impress a boss | Started by: Deadpool on Feb 23, '09 20:35 |
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I recently overheard Don Angel rambling about how to impress a boss. Take her to a dinner and a movie, make eye contact, you know standard stuff. This is not my area of expertise. I am, however, an expert in how NOT to impress a boss. Listen and learn. Step One: The initial contact Your initial interaction with the boss should be curt, short, unintelligible, and bording on rude. This will accomplish several things. First, they'll know that you're a go-getter, not afraid to demand what you want. Secondly, they'll understand that you don't have the time to speak in "words," you're far too busy for stuff like that. Also, by being rude, perhaps even profane, you'll show that you're a brave leader who doesn't fear power or death. Here's an example: Angle let me in ur cru or ill kill ur bitch ass. im da bom gangsta let me in or ul regrit it laterz. Now, let's review. By getting her name wrong, you've accentuated the fact that she's just another crewleader and they're all interchangable. It doesn't really matter, as you're the badass here. Then, you demand to be in her crew and emphasize that with a threat that you can't possibly back up. Or can you? Perhaps you've just put the fear of God into her and now she'll respect you. Then you tout your awesomeness and leave with another idle threat. Throughout, make sure that you sound like a drunk with marbles in your mouth, so that way, you can always say that she didn't hear you right. Step 2: Making your mark Once in a crew, you'll find that it can be hard to get noticed. In order to move up in the world, one must get noticed by the leadership. You can do this very simply. All you have to do is ask daily when you're getting promoted. This tells your leader that you're anxious to gain rank, so you can make more money for the crew. However, if you act too altruistic, they'll think you're a pansy. You need to make sure that the crewleader understands that ranking is so that you can make more money, so you can train your gun. Here's another example: Angle, when am i gettin the prmotion. if not kan u giv me a $$$ so i can trane i want to be a hitter. In this example, you've once again minimalized the importance of the leader by getting her name wrong, all the while maintaining your unintelligible gibberish. You've also emphasized that you want to shoot people and make money, two of the most important things in your family. Step 3: Meet the leaders Once you've ranked up, it's time to start hob-knobbing with the upper eschelon of the mafia: crewleaders. Perhaps the best way to meet them is to tell them that your own crewleader is plotting to kill them. Other way is to insult them, then hide behind your crewleader. The ultimate way to be notice by the other crewleaders, however, is to go rogue. For example: just a note my leader is planning on killing ur cru tonight at 10mafia time. if you want i can give you his pro time. ill go rouge and help u out. i hate her she smells like roten eggs and old cheeze. Let's review. In this note, you've offered your crew to another leader on a platter. You've also shown him that you're a go-getter who's planning on taking your boss's place once she's dead. You've also shown that you're on the level by offering intimate details about your boss. Again, by mumbling and not making sense, you can always deny this incident in the future, or chalk it up to drug use. Step 4: Your own crew Now that you've stepped out on your own, it's time to announce yourself to the world. Make sure that everyone knows how badass and cool you are and try to instill some fear in them all. Let the other leaders know that you're coming for them and they had better bend to your will. Here's your example: my new cru is the best. we will kill all the other crus and take over tha mafia. if you want to life send five million to me or my rhm. then we will spare ur cru. were tied of this bitchass pussy mafia shit its time for some killin. five million or u die bitchs. oh the name of are cru is super uber robot car crash monster chase porno 5000. bow down to ur nu masters of the universe. Congratulations, you've successfully learned how not to talk to crewleaders. Remember, respect is for pussies. Leaders see respect everyday. Catch their eye with disrespect and profanity. If you can work in some sexism or inappropriate comments about their mother, you'll be even more successful. Just follow these simple steps and you're on your way to infamy! |
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Chuckles really hard, coughing up a lung You good man, are a genius. With these tips, my kin for generations will always be accepted in to whichever crew they deem worthy. |
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| Reply by: SirSammyRourke at Feb 23, '09 20:39 | |
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| What are you talking about, SirSammy? Didn't your ancestors invent these tactics? | |
| Reply by: Butt_Ox at Feb 23, '09 20:43 | |
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| Way to go :] | |
| Reply by: Ember at Feb 23, '09 20:45 | |
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| No Butt_Ox, my ancestors never had problems getting into family's, maybe you should check your records? | |
| Reply by: SirSammyRourke at Feb 23, '09 20:50 | |
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| Sounds like words to live by Deadpool. It's nice to see what peoples opinions are on what to do and what not to do. Good read. | |
| Reply by: Sao at Feb 23, '09 20:57 | |
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| Of course, this is about more than getting into a family. Only step one is related to that aspect of impressing a Boss. Maybe I mistook you for someone else, though. | |
| Reply by: Butt_Ox at Feb 23, '09 20:59 | |
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| It's certainly a possibility. Although I doubt it, my family line is very rarely confused with others. Impressing 'a' boss, and impressing boss's in general are two different things however, in the past I know my ancestors have continually been unimpressive to certain boss's. Others however, have been perfectly satisfied. | |
| Reply by: SirSammyRourke at Feb 23, '09 21:01 | |
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| way to put it in perspective for everybody. :) | |
| Reply by: ITSJUSTAGAME at Feb 23, '09 23:12 | |
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This is great! Everyone should NOT abide by these HORRIBLE rules! Well done. |
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| Reply by: LaceyMenaux at Feb 23, '09 23:14 | |
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She stands smiling from ear to ear giggling as she listens to Deadpool's speech. Tears streaming down her face as she tries to contain herself. Hugging herself as he finishes speaking she catches her breath. Fantastic sir, you are a true entertainer. That was amazing. I have learnt so much from this. Truly a life-changing tale you have told. Thank you. She shakes Deadpool's hand and returns to her previous search for a good mug of hot chocolate. |
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| Reply by: Angel at Feb 23, '09 23:42 | |
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On the contrary, I don't find this impressive or indeed unimpressive; if they make some good money for the Family, who am I to criticise the way they talk or write? Personally, I see it is part of my job to take in anyone who asks me for shelter. Perhaps the accusation of low standards may be levelled at me, but frankly I do not expect much from associates, for they are expendable. It is the prospective and existing Made Guys who I expect to deliver. |
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| Reply by: KingOfOnePercent at Feb 24, '09 09:04 | |
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| So if they make good money for the family and are loyal as KingOfOnePercent said who cares? | |
| Reply by: Conor-Scanlon at Feb 24, '09 13:59 | |
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| or if they say Gimmiez a home or i will sh00t U! KOOP would accept them! haha | |
| Reply by: ITSJUSTAGAME at Feb 24, '09 16:38 | |
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| Too right I do. When you're all getting your panties in a twist about grammar and pronunciation, I'm teaching a new generation of criminals how to be classy mobsters; and I'm making money hand over fist in the process! | |
| Reply by: KingOfOnePercent at Feb 24, '09 16:53 | |
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| dont get me wrong a gangster, is better than no gangster at all. | |
| Reply by: ITSJUSTAGAME at Feb 24, '09 19:22 | |
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This was a very good read. and TBH, I don't see Deadpool's and KOOP's views opposed and unable to coexist. I'll try to elaborate. Deadpool makes a superb point, he obviously describes the way we should NOT be in the game. However, he never states that these mobsters should be rejected. He just calls them "unimpressive" to paraphrase him. KOOP, on the other hand, also makes an excellent point and proves that he will go to any lengths to share his knowledge and truly transform the crude carbon into diamonds. Perhaps, KOOP's posts are the PERFECT round up for Deadpool's tale: it reminds us that we should not be so judgmental of those who are not refined and experienced players. After all, we all started our bloodline at one point and many of us made mistakes in the process. Some players may think that being a mobster is all about being a bad ass, and unfortunately, maybe the lack of grammar and spelling is due to a bad education, so why not give them a proper one? One that may motivate them to learn, and not the kind that makes them feel belittled. Does any of this make sense? |
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| Reply by: Adrian at Feb 24, '09 22:39 | |
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| yes, it does make sense, like i said before to KOOP, a gangster is a gangster is a gangster. If there are a couple bad apples in the bunch that may have poor views, convince them that the way you see it is more healthy for the family. Or, transform them from someone who doesnt know how to address a high rank, to someone who can. Yes, i do agree with you Adrian, way to sum it all up for us. | |
| Reply by: ITSJUSTAGAME at Feb 24, '09 22:50 | |
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A wonderful denouement to a fantastic community effort then, Adrian! I should of course point out that I wasn't taking Deadpool original rambling all too seriously; it was clearly put forth with tongue firmly in cheek and I had a right old chuckle, but you know me, always looking for an excuse to whip up some debate! |
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| Reply by: KingOfOnePercent at Feb 25, '09 06:21 | |
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Holds up his hand like a puppet. No one should take that bastard Deadpool seriously. He's crazy as hell. Stares at hand, aghast. Et tu, Lefty? At least Righty's still with me, right? Holds up other hand like a puppet, "Righty" shakes his head no. Well. That's a hell of a thing to find out that your RHM and your LHM think you're insane. |
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| Reply by: Deadpool at Feb 25, '09 07:25 | |
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