Get Timers Now!
WebSpider
$7,027
X
 
 May 17 - 08:05:04
-1
Page:  1 2 [ > - >>> ]
Rap battle thread Started by: BrianRourke on Mar 03, '09 13:57
"Yo who's youse lookin' at you fat G?" You hear someone shout as you walk out of the Bar.


"Yo youse betta chex yourselves before you rex yourselves homez or youse gettin' slapped!"

You are concerned. The last time you witnessed such a horrific mangling of the English language was when your dictionary fell in the blender.


"What on earth was that?" You say out loud for no reason at all really, but you suppose it would help someone who was chronicling these events in some sort of online role play game in the future to write a few more lines of dialogue.


"Yo, I like your coat dawg. Howz abowt we fuckin' battle for it? You ready to throw down?"

You aren't totally sure how to respond to this creature. You think that maybe he's asking you for a duel. You know that your boss probably wouldn't approve of gunning down some young hoodlum in the streets but you're getting tempted to do just that.


"What the devil is wrong with you?" You ask. Knowing full well that this gentleman is suffering from some sort of mental disease.


"Yo man, youse need to battle dawg. Lets get down the club and i'll showz you how I fuckin' roll."

If only out of the morbid curiosity that plagues the back of your mind to see where a figure as grotesquely unintelligent as this... thing, could dwell, you follow him to the club.

As you walk through the doors you see a crowd. They are all booing a guy on stage. He's a fat sort of cunt wearing a kilt and a claymore. You look closer and you realise it's the Godfather Acute. He's laying down some terrible verses in front of a crowd that looks like it's more likely to hang him from a noose than respect him as the figure of authority that he is.


"Well Ladies and Gentlemen...ahem... I mean Bitches and G's, that fool got mutha fuckin' served yo! Who's next to test their mad skillz on the stage?"

The crowd turn round and gaze at you, the newcomer. They start to glare and heckle you. You find yourself putting your hood up and loosening your belt to let your pants get baggy.

Finally, you step up to the mic.

AND DROP A FUCKING MAD VERSE!!!!!!!!
 
Report Post Tip
Let me get this motha fuckin' party started yo!


I'm the mother fucking champ you better show your respect,

When I say 'I'm gonna fuck ya mam' you better know that's correct,

I'll take her out for dinner and treat her real nice,

Buy her a chicken chow mein, roast duck, FRIED RICE!

We'll move on to a club, I'll get her all fucked up,

Then back home for some foreplay, think two girls, ONE CUP!

Once I've finished with her she won't be able to speak,

I'm gonna fuck her so hard that she won't walk for a week.


You fuckin' gonna try and step to this? Go sit the fuck back down, ya heard?
Reply by: BrianRourke at Mar 03, '09 13:59
Report Post Tip
Where is Acute to drop me a beat?


Let me rap to you suckas bout that homo BrianRourke

Bust a nut in his nan like I'm poppin my cork

My rhymes is so cold like a Dairy Queen Blizzard

Like we in Lord of tha Rings - he tha hobbit I'm tha wizard

BrianRourke is a gay of massive proportions

Fucked his nan up so much she had fifty abortions

She licked my shaft to the tip like a pro little whore

But she's only cummin when I'm in her back door

She love Rourkey cock - she's my number one fan

Cuz there ain't nothin as nice as a ninety year old nan


BrianRourke is gay.
Reply by: RourkeyRourke at Mar 03, '09 14:10
Report Post Tip
Look at this fuckin' bitch. Your rhymes are pubescent.


I'm like a rap hurricane and I don't mean to brag,

But my rhymes leave Rourkey in need of a colostomy bag,

Having to listen to you rap, it's like a fucking war crime,

My rhymes, they hit your face like an atomic landmine,

I'm undisputed in this rap game, don't you ever forget,

When I was conceived it was planned, you're just a fucking re-gret,


Yeah busta, fuckin' step to that you fat C.
Reply by: BrianRourke at Mar 03, '09 14:17
Report Post Tip
Is someone talking here? All I hear is a faggot.

When I'm bonin Brian's nan, I always double bag it.

Never know where that cunt's been - her vag is so large

Could fit in a tractor or sail in a barge

It's like they said - throwin a hot dog down a hallway

But I can't find the walls and I been searchin all day

Better take out my cock and just jizz in a cup

Hand it back to the bitch and she'll drink it all up


I'm a lyrical assassin
Reply by: RourkeyRourke at Mar 03, '09 14:27
Report Post Tip
Here I come the gangster named Phatballz

Quick to run whenever Brian's nan calls

Hittin it everywhere even in shitter stalls

Leave her broken down n bleeding out her ass walls

Try to be nice like she's my speacial treat

Rub her back, shoulders and her crusty feet

She love it though, she needs the Phatty meat

Bitch don't look at me, you'll get your ass beat

Take her shirt off, her titties all droopy

I stretch them out and tie them in a loopy

I slap them around and get her pussy soupy

What's that smell? My God, she just made a poopy!

Pull her panties off, damn, I see an afro

Feeling kinda sick, I gotta hit it though

She's all hot and ready, she's ready to go

While I'm digging for it, I suck on her toe

Pillow covers her head as I begin my freak shows

Pounding and pounding but before my top blows

Straight from her ass to her mouth my dick goes

Cumming so hard the shit came flying out her nose

Feeling so relieved, now that we are through

You're all sweaty, your crotch is dripping goo

The only reason you're here, bitch you know it's true

Put your shit on and get out of here, I'm finished with you.


Word.
Reply by: PhatballzRourke at Mar 04, '09 09:48
Report Post Tip
I am eagerly anticipating BrianRourke's reply to the utter destruction Phatballz has leveled on him.
Reply by: RourkeyRourke at Mar 05, '09 16:28
Report Post Tip
Brian knows that he don't wanna fucking test me

I been banging every bitch in his whole family

If he steps up and tries to handle this

Bust him with the mic, make him drink my piss

He lays there smiling enjoying every last sip

Take my dick and slap him in the fucking lip

He's rolling down the street with his little whore

When he stops, I charge and drag him out the door

Stomp his ass down, leave him bloody in the street

Hop in, stink ass funky smell all on the driver seat

His hoe is happy, she's rolling with a real man

She definatly knows no one do it like Phatty can

Drill her ass and nut all over Brian's back seat

Open up the door, throw the bitch out on the concrete

All the sucka competition standing before me promptly falls

That's just how it is, if you mess with motherfucking PHATBALLZ
Reply by: PhatballzRourke at Mar 06, '09 11:55
Report Post Tip
Yo' yo' cock gobblers, take a step back

These rhymes you been spittin' getting kinda wack

Talking about fucking nans, banging ho's,

Not hard to tell you all low on the totem pole

Come up with somethin' that requires use of yo' brains

All this talking about humpin' Brian's mom getting lame

But while we're on the subject I don't have a problem sayin'

That while you boys been arguin' I've been out playin'

All of these females in the lives of you three

Have been sittin' here beggin' to come home with me

Not only do you guys suck at dropping bombs

But now Marietta's the one givin' it to yo' moms.


Hollah.
Reply by: Marietta at Mar 06, '09 13:18
Report Post Tip
Look who's strollin in here - it's my trick Marietta

Bitch don't know what hit her when she makin me chedda

Hikin up skirts at the street, suckin all kinds of cock

Better step off yo shit - this place is BIG ROURKEY'S BLOCK

She be my number one ho and she sucks like a champ

Pussy open and inviting, just go on in, set up camp

She got so much room, she'll open up a Motel Six

To take care of the customers when they're throwin in dicks

And my number two ho is yo lovely Aurora

But that bitch locked her box like muthafuckin Pandora

Only I gots the key and I call it my cock

Shove it up in her vag and it be openin tha lock

I got all Riot! ladies wanting some of dis action

Better HQ BrianRourke cuz his face a distraction

Don't know why they allow him and his faggot self here

Run along, Brian honey, fetch yo daddy a beer
Reply by: RourkeyRourke at Mar 06, '09 16:40
Report Post Tip
I swear to god mutha fuckas' when you come in my house you take off your mutha fuckin' shoes. Respect my fine carpet!


I leave for a few days and look what I come back to. A shit storm. Let me just lay down a retort whilst I've got a few minutes.


DROP A FUCKING BEAT!


I'm going to have to unleash a rap Armageddon,

I'll pimp slap your arses till the cheeks start to redden,

I take a break for a while and your think Brians done,

I'd be a fool to let you cunts have all the fun,

So I'm back once again and in a lyrical trance,

Your raps looked OK when I took my first glance,

But when I broke down the lyrics, evaluated the rhymes,

My eyes took offense at those lyrical crimes,

Phatballz put in effort, yeah, he tried his best,

But his rhymes were so childish, they left me unimpressed,

Martietta was next, she's the boss (so I heard),

Her effort was interesting, pretty good for a bird,

I tell you what you two, rap lessons for free,

I couldn't be fairer, and I think you'd agree,

Now onto Rourkey, that dir-ty little shit,

I had to fuck his mum off, she wanted me to commit,

I could have been his new daddy and taken him to the zoo,

Give his girlfriend an orgasm, one's long overdue,

He acts like a pimp but he looks like a cunt,

No one is sweating this bitches affront,

And when he goes home at the end of the day,

His mum and girlfriend are at my house, we're having a soiree,

Both of them get naked, and sit on my lap,

Whilst I go deep inside one, the other gives me a clap,

They realise that I'm putting on one hell of a show,

After they've cooked and cleaned up I can tell them to go,

So the three of you best realise, when it comes to this game,

There's no reason to continue, and there is no shame,

In losing to the mind of a superior rapper,

So run along home you young whipper-snapper,

You got beaten by the best, you ain't no fuckin' martyr,

I'm just bigger and better, more handsome, and smarter.



FUCK YEAH!
Reply by: BrianRourke at Mar 06, '09 17:58
Report Post Tip
Marietta suddenly dashes from the room, running back in clutching a piece of paper. She waves it around wildly and calls:


Quick! I just received a telegram from the Godfather of New Orleans. It seems that he wishes the following message to be passed on to all of us here in his old home city.



Uh uh, the king is back... HOV

Been listenin to Brian rap, what a sad performance,

Like old people fuckin and runnin low on endurance.

Keepin my eye on Brian's nan's mouth, lookin oh so porous,

Like she could guzzle 8 gallons, and roar like a stegosaurus.

I take her on a classy date and it's like a clearance sale,

I pay half price, then get blown off like the air hole on a whale.

I been sittin on the outside and lookin in,

Wonderin bout my dribble on his nan's double chin,

Will she bother cleanin it or does she not even know?

Suspense killin' me like Ross and Rachel on some future show.

So now here I go back to my old nan talkin' tricks,

But big lulz at Rourkey cos he takes double the dicks.

Reply by: Marietta at Mar 06, '09 18:42
Report Post Tip
Rourkey thinks he's a playa' when he talks about my vag

'Godfatha in the sack', wears it on his chest like a badge

Sad thing to know is that he's the only one to brag

I feel sorry for us girls, if he's calling that a shag

In his own mind he's made himself to be a hero

But after last night, trust he's got a value of zero

But I shouldn't be so hard and I shouldn't really rag

Rourkey's already got it rough living like a fag

And now there's Brian- thinks he's the master

Givin' me lessons like I'm a Christian- he's the pastor

Master Rourke you're old school and old news son

Better pack your bags cos I got your momma on the run

Don't worry old man I'll treat her real good

Give her the lovin' that Phatballz never could

Better make way for the new generation

Lil' ol' me is the new rap sensation


Word up to my homie g's in the Bronx and Ellll Aaaaaaaaaayyyyy!

Flashes gang signs.
Reply by: Marietta at Mar 10, '09 14:50
Report Post Tip
I'm guessing no one can stand the flava of Marietta, eh?
Reply by: Marietta at Mar 11, '09 13:22
Report Post Tip
Yo yo yo yo yo - Rourkey's back

Tell the DJ to rewind the track


I'll deliver you faggots an olde "epic poem"

If you can't stand the fury, then run quick back home

EPIC POEM AHEAD KIDS - DON'T GET LOST


Let me tell you a story bout that ho Marietta

So much hair on dem tits - look like she wearin a sweata

So sit right down kids - listen close to my journey

This is copyright Rourkey, better call your attorney

Mari's vag is so loose and shit's covered in mold

I'll pretend it's a cave to get out of the cold

When I first step inside it's as large as a planet

The pussy is rough - shit is covered in granite

I see a few corpses, probably dead from the stench

I cover my nose and my bowels I clench

I decide to explore - see what treasures I find

Never seen a vagina quite akin to this kind

Couldn't find one so massive, so old, and so used

Unfamiliar with the feel or the juices it oozed

A little back story might relieve some confusion

Will help all of you folks arrive at my conclusion

I first met the boss when I filled up her throat

I'd also jizz on her face and her tonsils I'd coat

She'd beg to be sucking as it was her forte

She was a good little slave and she'd always obey

But one day I tired and desired that cunt

She lay back on the street and spread her legs in the front

Twas massive like a cavern! Didn't know how to proceed

I just dipped in my wick - couldn't fathom the deed

It swallowed me whole like Brian eating a meal

I climaxed out of fear, couldn't see the appeal

I was happy to have found a safe hiding place

And instead of her pussy I would nut on her face

So now you're aware how I've found such a hole

Let me continue my story and deliver my goal

I tightened my belt and continued to walk

I cowered in fear when the thing started to talk!

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE" it rumbled quite loudly

"I'm exploring you deep" I answered quite proudly

"WELL GET THE FUCK OUT" it said in reply

"I'M TRYING TO GET WET FOR THIS CLOSE HOMELESS GUY"

I shuddered again in the thought of the action

I doubted the man could possibly have an attraction

"I will not depart" I said with a grin

"For if I will exit, I'll jizz on your chin"

"I DON'T LIKE THAT OPTION" it quaked back at me

"SO HURRY UP QUICK FOR I HAVE A GANG BANG AT THREE"

"JUST FIND A CORNER AND DEPOSIT A LOAD"

I wanted to come, I was about to explode

"I can't find a corner, your vag is too spacious"

"But so far as a host, you've been rather gracious"

"I didn't come here to deposit my sperm"

"I came here with a mission - my purpose was firm"

"EXPLAIN TO ME ROURKEY - WHY HAVE YOU VENTURED INSIDE"

"MY PUSSY IS OPEN, I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE"

"I thought yours was the biggest and grossest around"

"WELL THAT IS QUITE OBVIOUS, CAN'T YOU TELL BY THE SOUND"

"I PROVIDE SUCH AN ECHO - CAN HEAR IT FOR DAYS"

"BRIANROURKE EVEN HEARS IT WHEN RIMMING THE GAYS"

"I TIRE OF YOUR ROURKEY - EITHER BUST OR GET OUT"

"I'VE BEEN DRY HERE FOR DAYS LIKE WE'RE SUFFERING A DROUGHT"

I decided to act so I started to wank

Pulled a thought of Aurora deep from my spank bank

I erupted quite quick like a massive volcano

I channeled some spanish and began to yell "BUENO"

But I couldn't stop coming! Couldn't halt for a second

I thought I was done - obviously finished I reckoned

But Mari could hold it! I underestimated the size

I had conquered the largest and awaited my prize

She then forced me out, shot me back on the street

I brushed off my shoulders and stood up on my feet

I gave her a wink and I began to depart

Noticed her covered in jizz - a fine piece of art

She lay there quite motionless as a crowd gathered round

And noticeably miffed, she pouted and frowned

"But why, RourkeyRourke? Why do this to me?"

I answered quite simply "Fuck yourself, no name C"
Reply by: RourkeyRourke at Mar 11, '09 14:14
Report Post Tip
Oh, snap!
Reply by: PhatballzRourke at Mar 11, '09 14:50
Report Post Tip
...I think I just got "served".
Reply by: Marietta at Mar 11, '09 19:32
Report Post Tip
I thoroughly enjoy the fact that no one can muster a response to my monstrous epic rap poem.


My rap be better than that shit called the odyssey

BrianRourke's face is just odd you see
Reply by: RourkeyRourke at Mar 16, '09 12:39
Report Post Tip
Fear not dear Rourkey, a response is being musterd. If I hadn't accidently drank a whole bottle of laxative whilst in the grip of a PCP binge, such a mess, I would've already served it up. Hot and fresh.
Reply by: Vic_Vaselino at Mar 18, '09 23:59
Report Post Tip
You should have served that treat up to BrianRourke or his nan.
Reply by: RourkeyRourke at Mar 19, '09 13:54
Report Post Tip

Locked Thread |  View All Threads Page:  1 2 [ > - >>> ]
How much do you want to tip for this post?

Minimum $20,000

(NaN)
G2
G1
L
H
D
C
Private Conversations
0 PLAYERS IN CHANNEL