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| The Noob Chronicles | Started by: Butt_Ox on Mar 21, '09 14:24 |
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I've been thinking lately about some of the more embarrassing moments in my family history. Contrary to popular belief, there was a time when I actually did a few rather unwise things, or at the least they were social faux pas. I did not spring from the womb as the godlike creature you see before you now. Scene One: The Attempted Assassination of -mrevilman ----------------------------------------------------- October 2003: -mrevilman has begun his conquest of the six cities. He is currently planning to take over Chicago, the residence of crewleaders Toaly and EricoCantonario. At this point, there are only whispers of an impending attack. No actual shots have been fired. Out of fierce loyalty and a desire to protect my (semi-retarded) crewleader Erico, my lame ancestor BigLouie flies off to New Orleans to hunt the tyrant. Louie had reached the stellar heights of Capo and was feeling quite confident. The process that led up to this is kind of foggy. If I remember correctly, I mailed Erico a few times asking "Hey, should I go shoot -mrevilman?". The first few mails went unanswered. I imagine he was thinking "Wtf is this noob talking about?". Anyhow, he must have got sick of me asking, because I finally got a mail that said something like "Yeah, go for it". So off I went! Visions of the hero riding off into the sunset were forefront in my mind. I found the old tyrant in New Orleans, fired a shot, and received the message: Falure! You failed to WACK! -mrevilman. Moments later, BigLouie was dead. His cumulative shot record was 0/1. I imagine that the onlookers kicked a little dirt over him, then stuck a cheaply-made sign in the ground that stated "Here lies a retarded noob". Scene Two: Battle With LaFrat ------------------------------- Some time in 2004, I was given an order to kill the RHM of a family who was named Petchito. I cannot remember who I was working for at the time. I had learned how to use my gun quite efficiently, but had not yet become notorious. Anyhow, my mission was a success, but I was shocked when suddenly I was under attack hourly! I remember the names of a few of my assailants. BlueCrab was one. He shot and missed. POW! I gaced him. BobMcKenzie was another. He shot and missed. POW! I gaced him. I had no idea why this was happening to me, but I wasn't complaining. I was getting a sponsored kill every hour because all these hapless Gangsters and Goombas were trying to kill me! I believe four or five missed, and I killed them all. No one would give me an explanation as to why this was happening. Finally, a WiseGuy named Hammy connected with his shot. I was dead. The whisper I received said "For Petchito". Had all this happened today, I would have realized that I was a fall guy. Someone wanted Petchito dead, and I was sent to do the deed. Of course, no one wanted to take responsibility for it, so I was hunted for the killing. I got played for a sucker, and I bought it, hook line and sinker. I have to admire the tenacity and loyalty of the LaFrat guys who died trying to avenge their brother. That's something you don't see much these days. Scene Three: The Dramatic Retirement Thread --------------------------------------------- Many of us have done this, and each of us who did it is retarded. I am not immune from this criticism. Sometime during 2004, I made a very lengthy and dramatic retirement thread. I thanked everyone who had made an impression on me, dropped alot of names of people who barely knew I existed, and waved goodbye with a metaphorical solemn tear in my eye. Of course, as is always the case, I was back in less than a week. I learned my lesson then, that nobody leaves here, they only take breaks. So there you have it, how about you guys? Got any embarrassing noob stories from your earlier days? We were all there once, and I'll bet we all did something stupid. |
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| Lol nice ill be making a thread on my family history soon | |
| Reply by: LuckyLuciano at Mar 21, '09 15:20 | |
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| All I can say is LOL. | |
| Reply by: GinoCeaser at Mar 21, '09 15:30 | |
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| How about some of your own stories? | |
| Reply by: Butt_Ox at Mar 21, '09 15:47 | |
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| Really enjoyed it mate | |
| Reply by: TinchyStryder at Mar 21, '09 16:06 | |
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I remember the first time I went rogue, back a long time ago when our good friend SamTheAmericanEagle was alive.. I believe it was New York? Anyways.. I went rogue with no pro wack.. baam dead within like 2 minutes.. that fun that was.. Shakes his hand at SamTheAmericanEagle Tons of other stories.. me and cav faking our deaths.. aww the good days |
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| Reply by: StripheVenzetti at Mar 21, '09 21:10 | |
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| Well. I would personally LOVE to hear said stories. Perhaps a small collection could be made between some of the older players...? | |
| Reply by: Ares at Mar 22, '09 00:18 | |
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| Do i count as an older player? 3 years and like 210days :) | |
| Reply by: LuckyLuciano at Mar 22, '09 08:22 | |
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| 10 days i meant to say... | |
| Reply by: LuckyLuciano at Mar 22, '09 08:22 | |
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Well, I guess I'll chip mine in. Back around a year ago, I created an account called Comatose. Comatose was an incog Made Man account back in Alfonzo's crew.. The entire purpose of that account was to go rogue and kill off some of the CP - partly because I hated the regime, and partly because I was sick of getting bloodline hunted. So, I waited about 14 days or so. My crewleader was sort of on vacation, so I decided to make my move - well planned, poorly executed. Instead of buying out, setting up a crew and shooting my target, I decided to shoot Deviant sponsored. Success! Dat bum's swimming with da fishes. Damn, I hit. In a bit of a shock, I immediately bought out, but before I could set up an HQ - doh. No money. Not only that, my friend and partner in crime had managed to catch the witness statement, and what do you know - my pro went AFK. So, trying to scramble up money as fast I could - I finally managed to get the amount of cash needed for a small HQ. Alas, my pro never showed up, and I was shot before I could press the button to buy my HQ. The whisper was "die" Good times. |
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| Reply by: Vicodin at Mar 22, '09 09:46 | |
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so it was youw ho took us down! you fucker! lol, i dont have any stories. partly, cause i havent been round long enough, and partly cause i have no fun and dont go rogue or anything :P |
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| Reply by: Adieu at Mar 22, '09 11:10 | |
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Lol. It was the beginning of June '08, my first account and I hit Made Man in min time. I thought I was the king shit, cream of the crop. I knew nothing, well virtually nothing, about this game. Ah I remember it, it was the war on Reese, back when Animal and Skulls and VicMackey ran the place. I knew nothing about hitting and yet somehow i was set to go try and pop off one of Reese's BG's. Success! I was thrilled, a whole one BG kill and a fuckton of trains and I was told to go shoot one of their pro shooters, goomba in Reese's crew. Success! Wow, I was in a great mood at this point. Went from there on out thinking I kicked ass, until I found this lady by the name of Iris, who I didn't like one bit. Now even though I was Made, I had no idea what was acceptable, what not to say, etc. So I called her a bitch and died. N00B mistake. So I come back, same name, except with a 2 after it. I was pissed! Didn't know who killed me, so my hate for Iris increased. Eventually on that account I got pissed at UN for being an ass, and I shot at him, and got HQ'd for it. A few weeks later, I'm back, learned what happened with my first account(HQ/Skulls killed me, still don't know for sure), and my hatred for Iris was still only increasing. At this point I knew quite a few people, and had befriended some wealthy/rich people. By this time I had heard of Prem and his infamous gun, so i contacted him in regards to how much it would cost to have him set up a team to kill Iris. I ended up paying him something like 6 mill in the end to do it, and of course the prick set me up(no offense, you still rock :P) LESSON LEARNED: Don't hold grudges, they'll fuck you |
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| Reply by: WilliamTheBloody at Mar 22, '09 14:36 | |
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April 2003 Imagine a time before Civilians & Thugs enjoyed the privilege of being able to receive and accept invites. Now imagine me pottering around with my very first account, five minutes after turning Gangster. The result was an unpleasant first view of graveyard page. Fuckers. Believe me when I say this never happened again. June(ish) 2003 Still relatively fresh off the boat, I had ingratiated myself within a nice small family. When this family was threatened by a nasty individual I of course adopted a rather Gung-ho approach and proceeded to goad said individual. He offered empty apologies for a while until I eventually took a shot at him. This shot was authed by the way. I was promptly treated to my first ever wack back message. There was no jail or gun loss alternative back then. November 2003 My leader had dies and told me to buy a HQ to house our unsponsored members. I took a pro wack from a wacking Earner. Game over. Sometime in 2004 Feeling rather bullish as a first time crew leader, I decided to throw my weight around ever so slightly. This came in the form of ripping the piss out of another family head in #crewleader. I won the verbal battle but his gun finished me off rather swiftly. Sometime in 2004/5 I joined a family run by Mac. I need not say much more. Early 2007 Note that by 2007 I had been running around this thing of ours for four whole years. The noob within had still not been suppressed however. This is evidenced by the fact that despite being one of Anita's hitters, in a war, I cruised around without taking a pro wack. Death soon followed. June(ish) 2007 Upon the tragic death of the dear original thread poster at the hands of wack back, a whole bunch of people were left unsponsored. I declared that anyone caught killing them would not live long themselves. Imagine my rage then, when a hit was pasted in my hitters channel. I shot the poor fellow without hesitation then proceeded to inform the whole of #crewleader. Turns out he was simply posting a hit on a proed inactive. June(probably) 2007 While enjoying a drunken night on IRC I flew to the quietest of cities, LA. I was joined there by five of my best buddies. I shot someone for the sheer fun of it and duly caught the witness statement. This qualifies as a noob mistake because it angered someone who suspected it was me but could not prove it. On the plus side he was shot in his sleep long before he could do anything about it. The point is however is that had he been a more fitting adversary, I may have been killed. July 2007 This was a year of comedic errors from me to be honest. Retrospectively, I could have done way better. The pick of the bunch however being that time when I started a war with half of my hitters and RHM offline. The ones who were online did not take pro wacks either (you would of thought I'd learn from that earlier mistake). It went pear shaped as you can imagine. I can't think of any startling mistakes since then. Go me. p.s. Expect mistakes in the form of spelling and grammar. Proof reading is a skill I sometimes omit from my eloquence. |
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| Reply by: HipposYawn at Mar 22, '09 18:47 | |
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Oh god I can go for a few. |
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| Reply by: SirBarnabieHuckles at Jan 02, '10 21:38 | |
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I wish I could add something here but I can honestly say I have never went out on my own and did something crazy,dumb,genius,or whatever you want to call it. |
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| Reply by: Rich_Uncle_Pennybags at Jan 04, '10 05:41 | |
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I remember a time when I was given the honour of being a RHM - something I was immensely proud of. Unfortunately, my boss had some stuff to attend to and I was left to steer the ship on my own for a short while. I was nervous, but I knew I could do it. Everything was going great until I made a really stupid mistake. Some guy called birday was in my crew and by a series of unfortunate events - he managed to get to Consig and become the RHM to a leader in our city. When the Boss found out, he was well pissed off. One for the OOPS! file for sure! |
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| Reply by: Noah-Levenstein at Jan 04, '10 08:41 | |
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My biggest mistake was when I was in Alessia's hitsquad. Alessia was warring LargeHamster and I was assigned to take out his RHM, I believe he was a Capo. |
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| Reply by: Rhuarc at Jan 04, '10 09:13 | |
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I'm dying to post in here, but I can't see it doing me anything but disservice. |
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| Reply by: Oderus at Jan 04, '10 11:37 | |
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So I owe my position as RHM to Butt-Ox... whomever he may be in his current incarnation. I owe you a drink |
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| Reply by: Panda at Jan 04, '10 11:44 | |
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I uh... Erm. I've never done anything stupid or noob worthy. Ever... >.> |
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| Reply by: JamesTerranova at Jan 04, '10 12:09 | |
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