Thomas Rourke was about to arrive on the scene with his Left Hand, Ox. They had been asked to make a statement with regards to the Fall in Chicago. Ox usually had to be dragged away from the shooting range, but they were making a special appearance today, and his protests went unheard. They drove along the side streets of New York being very careful that they weren't tailed. Of course it was hard not to be conspicuous when they needed an additional 25 cars to transport all their bodyguards.
Their driver approached the platform where the speech was to be given and the car came to a halt. Ox got out to scan the area. Fork Rourke was left at home due to disciplinary infractions after he was caught vandalizing a bathroom stall with lewd caricatures of an unnamed woman with large breasts. Ox gave Thomas the all clear and the elder Rourke made his way to the front of a crowd that had gathered.
"Hello ladies and gentlemen. For the last week I have been hounded for the reason behind Chicago's Fall. After conferring with many learned men I have come up with an answer that should satisfy all interested parties...
"The reason for the Fall is that as the Earth rotates around the sun different areas of the planet get differing amounts of sunlight during the year. For instance during the months of June, July, and August, a city like Chicago, located in the Northern Hemisphere, would get prolonged sunlight as it faces the Sun, thus Summer. So given the rotation of the Earth around the Sun, and being as it's located in a temperate zone, Chicago goes through four seasons in a year: Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall.
"However, for whatever apparent reason, Winter and Spring are on a safe list. The end."
Thomas waves to the people as Ox ushers him back into the car to be driven back to their Headquarters. |
|
| Report Post |
Tip
|
|
Bravo... Bravo GodFather. A very scientific answer :) |
|
| Report Post |
Tip
|
Gino smirks while puffing on his cigarette
Very nice Godfather. I am very pleased after reading this. You make the world seem bigger than it is. |
|
| Report Post |
Tip
|
|
Oh my god, now I get it! :P |
|
| Report Post |
Tip
|
Jabs A-Mac in the side of the head with a rolled up newspaper while smoking a Cuban Cigar
The only you get is herpes....
shakes his head and claps at ThomasRourke |
|
| Report Post |
Tip
|
lol. and he also your nan skitz.
applauses at the godfather's speech. |
|
| Report Post |
Tip
|
|
Hmm that's interesting to think about. In all conclusions, it makes logical sense. |
|
| Report Post |
Tip
|
|
One could say this makes too much sense. |
|
| Report Post |
Tip
|
|
Tumbleweed wobbles its way over the street... |
|
| Report Post |
Tip
|
|
It makes everything creep in all quiet like, like a fish. |
|
| Report Post |
Tip
|
Ox stands next to Godfather Rourke nodding his head and occasionally checking his wristwatch. After the Godfather steps away from the crowd, Ox steps forward to say a few words
"I hope that satisfies your curiosity. Next week, after we reduce your city to rubble, I will be explaining how it relates to photosynthesis."
"Now get the fuck out of here. It's painful to look at you. You're ugly and your mama dresses you funny." |
|
| Report Post |
Tip
|
*looks at his joint*
*takes another puff*
*looks at his joint again*
Damn! THis must be some good stuff! |
|
| Report Post |
Tip
|
|
I agree with all the replies. |
|
| Report Post |
Tip
|
|
Aye me too h-civic, this make absolutely perfect sense to me. At least now the "cursed" city has an explanation for all it's woes. |
|
| Report Post |
Tip
|
|
Well this certainly is one way to look at it. I applaud your explaination of the Fall of Chicago! |
|
| Report Post |
Tip
|
