It was a usual morning again. Maria woke up and immediately wished she didn’t. She got quite the hangover from the excessive drinking last night the guys and girls. Her head was throbbing like mad when the phone rang, which got a massive groan from Maria. Nevertheless, she dragged herself to the phone and groggily answered it.

‘’Maria here. What’s up?’’ She said, still sounding rather sleepily. The voice on the other side was quite the opposite.

‘’Hey hey hey, it’s Tepid!’’ The voice said. After laughing at himself for a couple of times, he continued. ‘’Willyougoeatsomewherewithmeplease.’’

‘’What?’’ Said Anna, even more confused and tired than before. She heard Tepid sigh on the other side of the phone line.

‘’Will you go out with me? Eat some food, have a nice chat and stuff.’’ Tepid said slowly, so Maria would understand.

Maria snapped out of her hangover in an instant and said a quick ‘’be right back’’ to Tepid before coming back with fake eyelashes on and her hair brushed.

‘’That sounds lovely, you  silly old fool! We can go tonight, I’ve got nothing better to do!’’ She said happily.

‘’Great! I, um, I haven’t gotten anything better to do either!’’ It didn’t sound very convincing with the sounds of Amethyst washing the dishes in the back. Tepid laughed  a few times again, they picked a time and Tepid hung up, being rather pleased with himself.

Hours (and dishes) passed  and Tepid went looking for his best suit to impress Maria. After searching through his huge collection of Hawaiian shirt, he still hadn’t found his suit!  There was no other option now than to ask Lush if she knew where the suit was.

Tepid quickly went downstairs to find Lush still washing the dishes. He shuffled his feet nervously and then quietly ask Lush if she knew where his suit was, for his date tonight. What happened afterwards, we will not describe.

But in the end, Tepid got his suit (and a bruised eye and rather bloody nose). He put on a bit more than his usual makeup to cover it and happily stepped outside to go and pick up Maria. He stepped in his fancy limousine (he sold his collection of porcelain cats to afford it) and gave the driver Maria’s address.

When the Limousine stopped before her house, Maria was in ecstasy. That Tepid was such a gentleman! He really knew what a girl wanted! She confidentially stepped outside, wearing a beautiful dress with feathers on it. She looked gorgeous!

She took a few steps towards the limousine, and Tepid had stepped outside to help her enter. Then, she stepped in a big fat turd a content dog had freshly laid. She cursed loudly and screamed and stamped on the ground, splattering the dog poop everywhere. Tepid quickly went over and wiped (licked) the poop from Maria’s heels.

Content again, Tepid and Maria entered the Limousine and drove though the most expensive dinner street in the whole city.

‘’Ooh, is it this one? No no, that one!’’ Maria said excitedly at every restaurant they passed, but Tepid was smiling and said no to every establishment Maria pointed at.

They drove out of the fancy street, leaving Maria rather confused. Tepid happily told Maria to close her eyes for the surprise. She did so, and the ride continued for a little longer.

‘’Open your eyes!’’ Tepid said enthusiastically.

Maria shook her fists in anticipation but when she opened her eyes they fell limply to her side. She now gave Tepid ‘the look’.

‘’What?’’  Tepid said sheepishly.

‘’This is a fast food restaurant.’’ She said.

‘’Well yeah, the limo was quite expensive!’’ Tepid exclaimed.  ‘’Besides, they have nice food here!’’

Before Maria could say anything Tepid wrapped his arm around her back and dragged her inside the building. He went over to the counter and pointed his gun at the guy standing behind it.

‘’Give us your food. Now.’’ He said, his finger near the trigger.

Maria smacked Tepid with her purse and took her wallet out.

‘’My… friend here is a bit retarded. We’ll take two kiddie meals please.’’

The guy behind the counter looked funny at Tepid and then nodded to Maria. Maria handed over the money, while Tepid was fiddling with his gun behind her.

Maria received their meals and they went to sit at the corner, right beside the window, so they could see the lovely cityscape outside. Maria started eating her fries, but Tepid just looked at his meal.

‘’I’d like a bit more to be honest.’’ Tepid said awkwardly. When he saw Maria was looking at him in ‘that’ way, he quickly shut his mouth and began eating his fries too.

After Tepid had finished his nuggets, he slapped Maria on the back and pushed her outside. The Limousine had gone, so they had to walk, causing Maria to glare at Tepid some more.

After a looooong walk they arrived at another lousy establishment, where the same thing as before happened. When Tepid tried to take out his gun again, Maria slapped him and told him to act normal. Tepid whimpered and did as he was told.

In the time Maria consumed her modest portion of chicken, Tepid had eaten about two buckets full of fried chicken.

When left again, with Tepid being noticeably slower at walking than before.

They went to their final (Maria hoped) destination. It turned out to be a lovely pizza hut. This time, Maria walked in first and slammed her money on the table before Tepid could even think about pulling his gun out. Tepid ordered the biggest pizza they had, while Maria was content with a lovely Pepperoni Pizza.

After ten minutes, Tepid’s pizza was all but gone except a few crumbs. Maria was about three quarter’s trough her pizza. It was at this point that Tepid started moaning loudly about Maria being slow at eating. Maria gave Tepid a quick look, which caused Tepid to shut up immediately.

As they left the Pizza hut, Tepid suddenly started singing very loudly. People crossed the street to avoid this madman. They threw money at him, hoping he’d shut up if they did. Nothing helped.

‘’A pizza hut a pizza hut

Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut

A pizza hut a pizza hut

Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut

McDonalds McDonalds

Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut

McDonalds McDonalds

Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut’’’

Maria looked at Tepid like he had gone mad. (Wasn’t he already?)

‘’You like it you love it

You know you really want it

The voices I hear

Whenever you're around

I want it I need it

Nothing else can beat it’’’’

‘’Hot and spicy

Whenever I'm in town

mm mm

Enticing exciting

Aroma so inviting

And when it hits

Me, I wanna take you home

Trust me you must see

Just what you're doing to me

Driving me crazy

Hungry to the bone

I think of you and lick my lips

You've got the taste I can't resist

Can't resist - can't resist

Let's eat to the beat’’

Then Tepid repeated the Chorus again. Maria didn’t know what to do anymore, she just stood there.

‘’’Would you like that to go?

Any sauces?

You're so sweet and you're neat

You knock me off my two feet

You're chunky and hunky

I'm coming back for more (Hot Dog)

Your taste all embraces

I gotta sing your praises

Just savour the flavours

Waiting at your door

I think of you and lick my lips

You've got the taste I can't resist

Can't resist - can't resist

Let's eat to the beat’’’’

Maria was close to crying now, Tepid was out of control, he started dancing now too. It was horrible to see and hear. He repeated the chorus yet again.

‘’Does anyone fancy a shake?

Shake

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Shake it to the left - Shake it to the right - Let's shake

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

I think of you and lick my lips’

You've got the taste I can't resist

Can't resist - can't resist

Let's eat to the beat’’

Now Maria knew what to do. While Tepid sang the final chorus, Maria went to the nearest phone booth and called the police. Then she called for a cab and rushed away from Tepid as fast as possible.

Tepid, still in ecstasy, didn’t take notice. He continued dancing and singing until he felt a stinging pain in his ear.

The police were standing beside him, and Lush had pinched his ear, dragging him back to home. There, she made him do all the remaining dishes, while smiling broadly. But Tepid had got his few minutes of ecstasy, and nothing could take away from that.

Pizza? Yes please.

feeling my stomach grumbling... I decide to patron one of the nearby places to shut it up. I see this wackjob trying to hold up the place, giggling to myself. After I finished eating, I followed them out as they were finished too.. then the guy starts singing, and he really can't carry a tune.. I begin to wonder if he forgot to take his meds this morning. I have no problem hearing him belting out these stupid made up songs about restaurant food. People are starting to stare.. as I watch him get dragged away, I laugh.. thinking what was wrong with him.. some crazy ass guy, I guess.

The?Dutchman happens to pass by as he sees this conversation going on in the streets

"Yes. A very interesting thought and quite a story to share.
I do understand what you are trying to say here, i believe...

However, me as a big guy who´s got to watch the budget a little bit... I´m more of a fan of Burger King.
But hey, we all got our own taste / likings i guess."