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| Strange Tales of Strangeness! | Started by: Deadpool on Apr 07, '09 13:59 |
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The wind howled through the door as I stepped into the little tavern. The only patron in the bar, he sat at a table off to the side, upon which were two drinks. I sat down across from him. "I took the liberty of ordering you a beer, mate," he said, in a thick Australian accent. "Thanks," I said, "but I don't drink beer." "What are you, some kinda sheila?" He looked at me like I was suddenly stricken with a terrible contagious disease. "Bartender! Whiskey. Leave the bottle," I called to the barman, who was wiping down his already spotless bar. "I just know what a man drinks. Anyone can drink piss." He laughed his big, bellowing, Australian laugh and slapped his thigh with his hand. "Fine then, mate. Now, whadya find out?" I poured a glass of whiskey, gulped it down, then poured another. "I'll tell you one thing I learned. You can't trust a woman." "Too right, mate!" He laughed again, this time tilting his chair back a bit. "Let's hear it then," he said, putting his hands behind his head. "Give it a go." "Well, for starters, I found the artifact." Immediately, his chair slammed back on all fours. "You found it? Where is it? Give it here, mate, c'mon!" I reached into my pocket and pulled out a flat medallion, about two inches in diameter. It was brown, covered in odd writing, with a large ruby imbedded in the center. He held it up and even in the dim light of the bar, light poured through the ruby, sparkling red. He continued to start at it, in awe. I kept talking. "As we discussed, I flew to Rio last week. She was there, waiting, just like you had said she would be. And, just like you said, she had a car waiting. She took me immediately to the dig site and showed me where the amulet was found. I don't know if you know this, but they found it clutched in the hand of a skeleton. Three men died while uncovering it and, thus far, excluding the two of us, everyone who has had any contact with it is dead." He sat the amulet down on the table. "Who had it? How did you recover it?" "My understanding is that someone paid a worker to take it off the site. I found his body in the Cairo morgue. He took one at close range, in the back of the head. I guess that his employer decided against paying him. At first, I guessed that he had hocked the amulet, or sold it to some tourist. But, when I visited his wife, she told me that he had made a very large sum of money doing some freelance digging." The Australian nodded, still glancing at the amulet. "Before I go on, what the hell is that thing?" "Hell is right, mate," he replied. "This little bugger is the key to Hell itself. It was hand forged by the devil out of pure gold and a ruby he cut with his own teeth. He carried it around his neck to make sure no one escaped the pit. On one of his trips to the living world, he gave it to one of his followers. Centuries have passed and, until now, it was lost. It contains more power than you can imagine." It was my turn to laugh. "Right." "I'm serious, mate. This isn't a little trinket. Now go on." I held back my laughter, then told him more. "I went back to the dig site and looked things over. There's a chamber where you can see a stand for the amulet. It was definitely there. I asked around the place and no one seemed to remember the dead worker. I was at a dead end, until your girl helped out. Incidently, she's dead." He stood, angrily, demanding, "What? Dead?!? Impossible!" I sipped my whiskey. "Sit down." He did and I explained. "Nope. You see, as I said, you can't trust a woman. So, this particular woman, who happened to be yours, if I'm not mistaken, had been awfully lonely there in Egypt, while you scoured the country for more funding for this precious dig. She was all too glad to be comforted by someone like me." His face grew red with anger. "To ease your mind, I didn't sleep with her." He relaxed a bit. "I was going to sleep with her, but instead, I ended up killing her." He stood again, this time knocking the chair behind him to the floor and drawing a large knife. I remained sitting. "Yeah, things were getting pretty hot and heavy, until she took her shirt off. She forgot that she was wearing that little medallion." He looked stunned and he lowered the knife a bit. "That's right, Kangaroo Jack, she was going to rip you off. Seems that she wanted this "power" to herself." "Well, I'll be damned," he said. "I suppose you want your money." "Let's be honest here, Koala Bob. You knew she had the damn thing the whole time, didn't you?" He looked slightly confused. "Don't play stupid with me. While it suits you, it only angers me. You knew she had it, but she was telling you that it was gone, right? Or, was she even telling you it was gone? Did you just send me over there to kill her? That's it, isn't it? You didn't tell her why I was there, did you? You knew she had found the damn thing, but you didn't want anyone else to know about it. Am I right?" The Australian laughed and took the last gulp of his beer. "I suppose you are, mate. We were partners, she and I. I was here when she found it. She wanted to put it in a museum, split the profit, fifty-fifty. I told her I was sending you as her "security." I had another bloke pay that worker, then shoot him the next day. I thought you might be a better detective, mate, so I even had the gun planted in her tent. But, you didn't even need that to kill her. I like your style, mate." I poured another glass of whiskey and took a drink. "You know, I don't like it when people lie to me." "C'mon, mate. Here's your money and a bit more for your trouble. Time we part ways." "When people lie to me, I lie to them." I put the bundle of cash inside the pocket of my coat. He was holding the amulet again and smiling. "I noticed her little necklace at the airport. We compared stories, and well, one thing led to another, and you know, I didn't really kill her." The door to the bar opened again and the girl came inside. The time she had spent in the sun had bleached her hair and tanned her skin. When that door opened, you could have driven a truck into the Ozzie's mouth, because his jaw hit the floor. "Surprise!" He started stammering, looking for an exit, then he noticed the gun in my hand. "Why don't you drop that little trinket on the table, right beside the knife you're going to put there, too." As she sat, he put the knife and the amulet on the table. "How could you?" Oh, she was pissed. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. She slapped him. "Hold on here, boys and girls. Unky Deadpool has some thing to say before you start to fight. First," I shot him in the arm. He yelled and bled a lot. "Now, I'm taking this here amulet. And the money. And this nifty pocket knife. I shot you because you pissed me off. Had you just asked, I would have gone over there, killed her, and brought this piece of shit back to you. But, no, you had to lie. Damn, when I hear it out loud, it pisses me off again." I put the gun under the table and shot him in the knee. He fell out of the chair and rolled around on the floor, whining about it. I holstered my gun. "As for you, archeologist babe, I'd go back to Egypt and bulldoze that entire dig site. Crocodile Carl there thinks that this thing is the key to Hell. If I had to guess, I'd say that you were uncovering some sort of satanic frat house." She nodded, her eyes wide as he continued to whine like a baby. "Oh, shut up! They're only bullets. But here's a tip, Dingo Doug. If I ever hear of you or see you again, the next bullet goes in your brain. No questions asked. And if something happens to the archeologist babe over there, I'll find you. I don't care if she gets hit by a bus outside this door, I'm blaming you. And then you're dead." He managed to stammer something about the amulet, but I didn't care. I tossed it off the pier, into the Pacific Ocean after I left the bar that night. Never heard from him again, but I know the archeologist babe didn't take my advice. She's still over there digging for something. I think I'll keep an eye on things. You never know what they might uncover. |
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| great story! I hope we are going to be the recipients of more like it | |
| Reply by: Alessia at Apr 07, '09 16:59 | |
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| Great read Deadpool really enjoyed it! | |
| Reply by: SaulSilver at Apr 07, '09 18:07 | |
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| Thank you very much. What happens next is, well, slightly unusual. | |
| Reply by: Deadpool at Apr 07, '09 20:45 | |
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