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| Who the F*ck Is Aphotic_Bulldog? | Started by: Aphotic_Bulldog on May 14, '09 20:01 |
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A strange man walks to the middle of the street and throws down a soap box. "Excuse me everyone" Most people continue to converse amongst themselves a few turn their heads to listen. "I know what I am about to tell everyone is more then they give a shit but I feel I need to properly introduce myself to everyone" By looking at the man it seems very plausible that he has had to much to drink. "I want to tell the story of how entered my wonderful employment with Don Vicodin. Many here have had family lines that ties them to the business that I have grown accustomed to. Fathers and Grandfathers so on and so forth. Well My great grandfather finally disided that it was time to leave this world for a more wholesome work as a carpenter." "I to am trained as a carpenter and though I would live out my days building furniture till the day my son could learn the trade. As it happens though that hasn't been the case, you see my brother went into the priesthood, acceptable to the family because his work was for god. Mother and I would see him preach to small congratulations and slowly watch him loose passion for it. So mother and I stopped going and it seemed he fell deep into darkness lead by whiskey and anger." Aphotic_Bulldog nods to FatherGordan who raises his flask in approval "Anyways a few years passed, carpentry was leading me to the poor house and I decided to talk to Gordan to see how he was doing. Lo and behold the bastard is wairing a brand new suit and people are calling him boss. So I turn to him. 'How in the hell did you go from a drunken priest to a respected man.' So he turns to me and says, 'Well I'm in a new business now and its working well for me.' Well me only being a carpenter at the time and having no fucking clue what he was implying responded, 'Business? What business your a priest you teach the word of god when your not to drunk to slur it out!' At that point he slaps me upside the head 'Brother you have been out in the country side working your ass off for pennys to long. Come with me I can get you a job in Los Angeles" Never having left the Midwest the prospect of going to LA was insane to me, but as things where I had no money a wife and a kid to feed, so I met Gordon in LA the next week and he introduced me to Vicodin. Now after the meeting Gordan let me know that kinda thing normally doesn't happen and I was lucky as hell to even have the man say hello to me. As it was that was the day i started working for a man I met only once I spent my days following men around making sure no one bothered them, not fully understanding why I was protecting them. Weeks passed and suddenly I was the one walking around collecting "protection money" from local buisnesses and had a few people following me." Aphotic_Bulldog takes a deep breath and sees a few people he doesn't think should learn anymore so they could learn on their own. "Well what can I say now I have a lovely life working for a great man in a business I didn't understand before." "My Name is Aphotic_Bulldog and I'm glad to have met you all and wish you all a good night." The man steps down from the podium and merges into the croud pleased that a few more people will see his face as familiar. |
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Ye..ye.. Bulldog, good story. Now we know all about you. Now where's the free drink you've been promising me? :) |
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| Reply by: AvantGarde at May 14, '09 22:42 | |
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Jackie steps up from the crowd towards Aphotic_Bulldog. Nice story about your roots in this business, my friend. I've always been a.. uhh.. backwards sort of person, so I was kinda born into it from the start. Kinda crazy to hear about a guy who used to be nothing more than an honest carpenter ending up here. Jackie scratches his chin. You know, I could use some work on my property in some places. You still building shit? How much you charge? |
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| Reply by: JackieMiles at May 14, '09 23:01 | |
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Well Garde you can always grab a drink from my place you know that. And no sorry JackieMiles along with my rank my grunt dutys have gone away sorry. |
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| Reply by: Aphotic_Bulldog at May 15, '09 02:34 | |
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| very nice read :) | |
| Reply by: SilentDiva at May 15, '09 12:37 | |
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Raises his flask back to his brother I help him out and now the little bastards looking to outrank me. Ahh family what can ya do with 'em. |
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| Reply by: FatherGordon at May 15, '09 13:34 | |
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| I would agree with SilentDiva that this was a good read, and now we do all know who you are, but could i possibly get that free drink too? | |
| Reply by: Novacaine at May 15, '09 13:41 | |
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"I still have no idea who this no name C is....Revan 4 auth" with a chuckle I light a cigarette and offer one to Bulldog "Really quite the rags to riches story. Nice to see blood family and Blood family working together so well. Even more amusing that you outranked and got so far in such a short amount of time...I will need to teach my kids to be carpenters to help with the real family business." |
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| Reply by: Birday at May 16, '09 11:57 | |
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She sits back listening and smiling. Remembering the stories her mother and grandmother told of this Bulldog. He was always one of the most dedicated members of The Pharmacy. His drunken performances brought many a smile to her face in her time with Vicodin. He and that partner in crime of his, Father Gordon, were known for many stunts pulled out Shoreside Hills' employees expense. Like that time ..... She sighs and returns to reality. Slowly she approaches him from behind, trying not to be noticed. Reaching around and covering his eyes she giggles. Guess who? Bulldog turns around to see her smiling eyes staring right back at him. My dear, you seem to have forgotten that time when you first joined The Pharmacy and my grandmother Angel caught you with a bucket of lard in the pantry.... Along with that Gordon buddy of yours. Just what were you doing with it? |
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| Reply by: Gravol at May 16, '09 15:22 | |
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Well Miss gravol Gordan and I set out to make the largest cookie ever and I'm not sure if you have ever tried to make a giant cookie with out greasing the pan with lard but I will say its hard. Aphotic_Bulldog walks over to Birday and takes the cig he was offered Thank you sir. Then Bulldog snaps his fingers and two men come running with beers and set them in a bucket. Everyone feel free to enjoy a cold one. |
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| Reply by: Aphotic_Bulldog at May 16, '09 17:19 | |
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| Reply by: danielbefc at May 31, '09 17:44 | |
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She sighs as she remembers the outcome of the cookie incident and tries to think of a solution. Well, I would most happily loan you one of the curling teams from Shoreside. I'm sure a few passes over the pan by them with their brooms covered in lard and it would be covered no problem. You should see how clean the home is! They keep it super clean now that you and Vicodin are gone. We have a new hockey league as well. Father O'Malley figured a way of fitting the walkers with skate blades and we keep the pool frozen. No one was swimming anyways. Not since that incident when you peed in it.... It was never the same. We couldn't get it clean. I should be off, I have some bread baking in the oven back at the home and apparently Vicodin may stop by later. If he remember that is. She smiles as she tucks one of her special cookies into Bulldog's hand and wishes him well. |
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| Reply by: Gravol at May 31, '09 18:44 | |
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Nice post there by danielbefc.. V.well written.. And nice read.. Wheres the free food and the pretty girls... |
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| Reply by: SkullCandy- at May 31, '09 18:50 | |
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She looks at SkullCandy quizzically. Why do you feel it necessary to speak of posts? Do you mean fence posts? Light posts? A little clarification here please... I'm confused how a simple child being fearful of speaking and saying nothing rather than spewing verbal diarrhoea and a "post" connect.. Maybe it's just me. She takes danielbefc by the hand and tries to teach him the ways of their world. |
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| Reply by: Gravol at May 31, '09 19:00 | |
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| Bravo | |
| Reply by: MafiaPenguin at May 31, '09 19:01 | |
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| Ahh yes, the big cookie incident. Never did get around to the whole baking thing. But boy oh boy greasing up that pan turned out to be a grand time indeed. Why once I slipped and well um.. enough of that story I suppose. | |
| Reply by: FatherGordon at May 31, '09 23:11 | |
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