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| The Massacre In Rome | Started by: RourkeyRourke on May 27, '09 20:08 |
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Rourkey sits down in the middle of the street and beckons for the children of the world to join him for the first ever "Storytime in the Street." Usually the children are drawn to him like moths to the flame, but this time they warily kept their distance. Rourkey kindly explained that this time he wasn't trying to lure them into his unmarked automobile for candy and fun times whilst their parents lamented their losses. Shortly after, he was able to amass a large group around him and he began to spin his magic. Children, my father used to read to me when when I was but a young boy in this fair world of ours. My favourite story was "The Massacre in Rome" and I hope to share its magic with all of you today. Rourkey opened up the book and began to read. Chapter One There was a young man named who grew up in a far away land. He was fairly odd-shaped and was somewhat loud. His name was S. P. Rozz. As the boy grew up he became mixed up with the wrong crowd and found himself joining a gang called "The Red Devils." These devils were somewhat fearsome and had large amounts of success roaming the countryside and pillaging the land. A young chap named Deimne stood up and began to speak. "Excuse me Rourkey, didn't you say this was titled 'The Massacre in Rome?'" Rourkey nodded politely. Deimne spoke again. "Well I'm all for character development and all, but will you please get to the bloody battle already?" Rourkey flipped ahead to the final chapter. Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy Two The Red Devils finished their journey to Rome and prepared to face Bar in what some believed would be the epic battle of the century. S. P. Rozz made the journey with the rest of his clan but was told by the elder members of the tribe that his assistance would not be needed that day as he was both gimpy and too unfit for any sort of competition. S.P. decided he would be better used as an avid supporter from the sidelines and tied a few tokens of worship around his neck. He thought to himself "this should be a rather easy match and those Ultras are going to be rubbish tonight." At the eve of the battle, both sides were eagerly looking forward to a victory. Many critics predicted that The Red Devils would end up victorious and lay claim to the throne of Europe. Without any notice whatsoever, the skirmish began and both sides began attacking mercilessly. A young S. P. looked onto the battle before him and thought "This is our day. This is the day that Rome will forever remember as the day THE RED DEVILS SHALL TRIUMPH." Unfortunately for him, S. P. couldn't be further from the truth. Behind the stellar field leadership of generals Eto'o, Messi, and Xavi, Bar was able to swiftly maneuver their troops into proper attacking formations all day and The Red Devils were left without a prayer. As a sign of things to come, The Red Devils' Captain Neville was too scared to join in the battle. His star pupil, Cristiano Ronaldo was fairly ineffective in his stead. In true fashion, The Red Devils were massacred in Rome. They were defeated mentally, physically, and the Bar troops stole all the Devils' women to use for their own personal devices later. Some would later come to say that The Red Devils were essentially akin to a rival tribe Celtic, as they were nothing short of second place today. S.P. Rozz realized that his trust had been shaken and his faith as a member of The Red Devils would never be the same. As S. P. prepared to head back to his homeland as an utter disgrace, only a few words could escape his lips: "Together we stood, but United we fell. God help us all. The Bar horde are the true champions of the world." Rourkey closed the book as a lone tear fell onto the cover. |
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A young man stood to the back of the crowd of youngsters with a pondering look on his face obviously thinking on the story he just heard This story is almost too realistic to be...well a story. maybe its too close to our daily lives to be a truly fantastic story. This is just my opinion. what's yours Rourky? Raises eyebrows in question |
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| Reply by: bigdaddy184 at May 27, '09 20:15 | |
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The story shocked him to the very core. Clearing the lump from his throat, he began to utter to those gathered for the story. An epic tale my good sir, one we can all learn from. Sun Tzu couldn't have put things better himself. Don't go into battle unprepared, don't underestimate your rival and don't put your trust in a crowd of tog busters. Lamenting on the story, he wondered what fate became of the Devils. Did they make it home, did they survive and did this Ronaldo chap ever become a 'Real' hero. |
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| Reply by: Deimne at May 27, '09 20:16 | |
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| I forgot to mention that none the less it was an entertaining tale sir good job :) | |
| Reply by: bigdaddy184 at May 27, '09 20:16 | |
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What an excellent story Rourkey! I would love it if something like that happened one day! I feel sorry for poor S.P.Rozz though having to go through that :( |
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| Reply by: Cruel at May 27, '09 21:09 | |
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Schizo leans against a near-by wall, pondering on the outcome of the story. That was some good stuff, Boss. Let me know when the next time you'll be reading is, I'd be more than happy to listen in. |
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| Reply by: Schizophrenic at May 27, '09 21:40 | |
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"Together we stood, but United we fell. God help us all. The Bar horde are the true champions of the world." Manchester United are still the reiging World Champions, an accolade Barcelona have (as yet) never laid claim to. Ayeyeyeyeye. |
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| Reply by: Sprozza at May 28, '09 07:17 | |
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Sibilo listens to all his fellow mobster's comments and he decides to give his own input on this compelling, life-like story. "When it comes to these, Red Devils, being this, World Champions, stuff. I still think these, Barca, after in my interpretation, beating these, Red Devils, therefore take the crown. If they don't, they will do now. I'd like to initiate the commonly used rule, Winner Stays On." Sibilo leaves, muttering something about must get some crazy pills. |
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| Reply by: Sibilo at May 28, '09 07:58 | |
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I'm sure, when the dust settles, S. P. will remember Barca '99 and Moscow '08 fondly to help dim the pain of Rome. He'll be ok I'm sure! I have to say though, Sorry Mr Rozz, the red devils were outclassed in the colosseum! |
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| Reply by: Manson at May 28, '09 08:41 | |
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Rourkey briefly reflected on this tale of woe for The Red Devils and prayed silently that the young S. P. Rozz was recovering somewhere from his uncharacteristic defeat. He picked up the book from his favourite place on the shelf between the photo album of his nude shots of Aurora and the photo album of his nude shots of ForkRourke and cradled it gently in his hands. He kissed the cover softly and moved to place it back on the shelf when a few slips of paper fell out from the back. Rourkey said out loud to no one in particular. Where in blue blazes did this come from? I have read this book cover to cover several times in order to remember The Red Devils' defeat. He quickly scanned the papers and his eyes lit up at the sight. He read aloud to himself:
The Red Devils were furious upon returning to their native lands. They had been outclassed by the Bar horde and even their most ardent supporters were slowly turning on them. S. P. Rozz barricaded himself in his hut and decided that he would only come out for the finest of sweets. Things were looking grim when tragedy befell the Devils. S. P. Rozz heard a pounding on his door and got up quickly to see who was there. He yelled at the man outside: "BEGONE YE. I am in mourning for Captain Neville, star pupil Cristiano Ronaldo, and the rest of The Red Devils. If I was able to have joined them on the battlefield, surely the outcome would have been different!" The man yelled back through the straw door: "Oh ye 'aven't 'eard then? Ronaldo is gone." S. P. Rozz's eyes grew quite wide and he opened the door a crack to speak directly with his kinsman. He spoke: "Surely not Ronaldo???? The man was nothing short of aces for our squad!!!" The man rolled his eyes at the young boy and clarified: "Indeed, mate. He was sent this morning to Los Blancos in exchange for a few sacks of beans and thirteen pigs. Apparently it is the largest trade in the history of our village! We should be thrilled he is gone." S. P. Rozz slammed the door shut and climbed back into his small cot. He held his head in his hands and pondered for a moment before speaking: "I know he has wanted to leave before, but curse the Spaniards for again besting us. This means I must take his place and become the new star of The Red Devils." S. P. Rozz grabbed his sword and began his training for the next skirmish. A few days later, he was the first casualty of war. His tombstone read "GRHS MagicMan." THE END?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Rourkey quickly slipped the book under his jacket and ran back to the streets. He grabbed a mailman by the shoulders and screamed at him: Friend, we must share this with the world! A new day has dawned of Galacticos! |
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| Reply by: RourkeyRourke at Jun 11, '09 13:52 | |
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