On a cold, windy Sunday Morning, Ragnarok sat on a park bench in Central Park. The view was grand, as the local drunks and whores had yet to wake from their evening activities of sin and folly. While he waited for his guest, long time friend and bullshit artist Chris_Vaughn to arrive, he enjoyed a large cup of coffee he had picked up Blackwod's Bar & Grill earlier this morning. The hot coffee, tasting of cinnamon and a hint of bourbon did a fine job of keeping him warm. It would have been more sensible to do this interview inside, but where was the fun in that. The cold brisk air would keep him awake it Chris went off on a verbal tangent like he enjoyed doing.

After a few more moments of peace and quiet, he heard his guest walking towards him, swinging the damned 2x4 at every sleeping bum in his path. Such phrases as jabroni, puntang pie, and know your role became more audible as he got closer and closer to the bench. Ragnarok stood up and greeted his long time friend, then offered him a seat and a cup of coffee as well.

Lets get straight to the important questions here Chris, as I don't believe in beating around the bush. How much time do you spend in the mirror, working on this asinine catch phrases you're often heard muttering in the streets?

That's right jabroni, the Rock is in the house. You know when you sent me a message asking the Rock to come down to Central Park so that you could go one on one with the great one, it wasn't an interview the Rock was thinking off. Now seeing as the Rock prefers beating jabronis to beating around the bush, allow the Rock to answer your question. 4.30am, The Rock gets up... rolls out of bed in his home in Florida. The Rock gets a little caffeine, he goes right to the gym, starts clanging and banging, like a madman. Then The Rock got on a jet . And he flew. The Rock flew to one place, and that place was the Big Apple. Then The Rock jumped on the four train and headed right to the Bronx, so The Rock could get out... and show respect to the captain. So he could get out and show respect to the captain and say 'Lou Gehrig!' And then after he said 'Lou Gehrig', The Rock had one last burough to go to. The Rock crossed a certain iconic bridge, then The Rock went down 5th Avenue, and then The Rock drove right up to Central Park. Then The Rock walked through the gates, walked down that path, sat beside some monkey's ass looking jabroni on this bench, the People's bench, in front of the millions... and millions of The Rock's fans so The Rock can proudly say: 'Finally, The Rock... has come back... to Manhattan!' Does that answer your question Ragnar-Rock?

Second question for you Chris, how much smack is actually laid down at the Smackdown Hotel? I stay below the penthouse and all I ever hear is catch phrases from the bar, and very disturbing news coming from the Penthouse. Could you shed some light on this situation for us all please?

Twenty Four Seven, three Sixty five, the Rock is laying the smackdown on jabroni after jabroni. Taking them all to the leaning tree, snapping a branch off, shinning it up real good, turning that sumbitch sideways and sticking it straight up their candy asses. Then the Rock drags them down Jabroni drive, hangs a right and beats them up Know your Roll boulevard, before checking their no pancake having candy asses straight into the SmackDown Hotel. You see jabroni, simple fact of the matter is this, The Rock has dream, has a dream that he's winning the war, going on to the Bronx and from coast to coast, Wisconsin to China, and back to Wisconsin! Sea to shining sea, The Rock one more time on top of the mountaintop, Leader of a family in his own right! And you see just like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr had a dream, well we all have dreams, but there has been one dream that has become a reality to The Rock, one dream that's becoming true to The Rock. Day after day, night after night, 24 hours a day,.... 7 days a week, 365 days a year, and that one dream is The Rock forever whipping ass, whipping ass....Thank God Almighty, The Rock is whipping ass

With all the bullshit aside my friend, lets talk about your history within this thing of ours. As best as I can recall, you're one of the most rooted member within this world. Could you share some of your roots and why you've been here for so long. 

You are right jabroni, the Rock's family stepped off the boat way back just a few short weeks after the first Valentines Day massacre, and signed up with some 10lb bag of monkey crap called Lia Vazzi. that didn't go to well, the Rock's great great great great granddaddy lasted all the way to earner before he woke up with a tuna for a neighbour. The Rock's family has seen it all, done it all. We've seen friends come and go, families rise and empires fall. We stood toe to toe with Anita, Flying Pig, MrEvilMan, BadBoyHitter, Pat McGroin, Dick Gozinya, and a whole host of jabronis long dead and gone, trading blows, left for a left, right for a right. Day after day, night after night. The Rock's family have been struck down by the god's themselves and cast aside for years on end. But the rock's family always came back. Not for fame not for glory, but for family. For people like you jabroni, for Scarin, Curtis, BennyNoodles, Scale, StopKillingMe, ATrueSoprano, Sprozza, Satanta, Ash, TheIrishMan, Silk, Selena, UntouchableSaint and anyone else who has ever had the pride to stand shoulder to shoulder with the Rock's ancestors.

What's your view on the current state of the four inhabited cities?

We've gone through some turbulent times, but we've come out stronger than ever. The Rock looks around and sees a good bunch of guys on top. The time is right to rebuild and strengthen our hold on these cities. To move forward with the rebuilding of New York, Philidelphia, Chicago and Detroit. The Rock also looks forward to the 'Wild West' experiment, and seeing who can bring law to the lawless. These are exciting times to be alive jabroni.

Are you aware that I often steal your catch phrases when I conduct less than legal business affairs? I chalk it up to paying honor and respect to you old friend, but how do you feel about it?

The Rock knows fine well that you steal his catchphrases. The Rock sees you in LA, LV, PH, CH, DT, NY, LMNOPQRST making out like you are the Rock, making out like you are the great one. Trying to talk Trash like the Brahma Bull himself, and failing miserably. Simple fact of the matter is this - There is and will only ever be one Rock, One People's champion, one man to be the most electrifying man in all of Mafia Land. The Millions of the Rocks fans, and they are out there, just like the handful of jabronis that are jealous of the Rock's talents, know that there is only one Rock. There is only one true Superstar of the Decade, true Superstar of the Millenium! You know who that is? The Rock'll tell you who that is! Ragnar-Rock, that is - the jabroni-beating, pie-eating, trail-blazing, eyebrow-raising, stronger than a bear, faster than a buck, have no fear New York, cos Ragnarok Sucks!

Barry has a massive head, supposedly filled with vast knowledge to help him survive and prosper. IvanRomanov is a communist, and we're all trying to figure out how to handle that. He provides quality vodka, so that is a plus for him. Then there are the fine gentlemen of Guevara the revolutionish, Batiatus the obscene one, and Chun_Li. Five quality leaders working for Godfather Curtis. Could you share your thoughts on the growth and progress of the big apple. You've been here sinces its rebirth, so I'm curious to hear your thoughts on things.

Curtis is a smart man, he knows where he's going, and he's taking his time to get there. The Rock may not always see eye to eye with everyone in the Big Apple, but when the chips are down and everything is on the line we pull together as a single unit and come out swinging. I believe its this slow and steady build that has led to this strength of unity. Just look at Chicago. The most powerful city on earth just a few weeks ago, More members and crews than almost the rest of America added together. Built up so fast and expanding exponentially, until it popped like one of those zits on Barry's 33lb head.

And my final question to you is this. How in the hell do you deal with me trashing your hotel and bar on a daily basis?

Everything you do is cosmetic jabroni, no lasting damage. The money the Rock skims from your pockets on a daily basis more than cover's the costs of any repairs.

The interview was over, finally. It lasted longer than he had expected, but that's what happened when old friends go together. As they departed the park, mention of heading to the famed Peach Pit in Detroit could be heard.