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| Dr. Pickles' Public Health Lecture - RHW | Started by: Dr_Pickles on May 31, '09 07:52 |
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Ladies and Gentlemen, you might notice I'm on crutches today, and I have a black eye. This particular health lecture is on the importance of keep the Right Hand Man . . . *Pickles cringes* . . . I mean "Right Hand Woman" . . . happy! And, this is a very sore subject with me. Sore, because my morphine is wearing off. So, there I was in the HQ, checking on Premier's bunions (kicking all that ass can be hard on the foot, just like kissing all that ass makes my lips chapped, but have you ever been on Prem's bad side?). Then, Katie Murdock walked in, and asked me if I had anything to strengthen nails because she kept breaking the nail on her trigger finger. Not realizing who it was (having a face full of foot), I said "Leave your lady troubles at the door and go buy some make-up or something!" The next thing I knew, I had a high heel against my temple with a force so powerful, it would have staggered Rocky Marciano! Then, she grabbed me by my stethoscope, and that's not a euphemism for anything, she wrapped it around my neck and hauled me downstairs! Then, she grabbed her stylish handbag, and proceeded to beat me with it. This is, of course, the hand bag she uses to keep her gun, knives, brass knuckles, black jack, and extra lipstick. Needless to say, it was very heavy. Then, she dragged me out to her car and had her driver run over my leg, back up, and run over me again! Then she said, "You want me to go do what now?" I begged her forgiveness, and gave her a prescription for clinical strength Vitamin-E (laced with some valium), and some cuticle oil. She threatened to tell Pickles (oddly, no relation), Pepper, and Caitlyn then next time I disregarded her and recommended beauty treatments. Now, if you all will excuse me, I have to see the banker about transferring money to Premier's offshore account, and I have to see a florist about a very large bouquet of flowers. Perhaps I'll go do that first. |
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Fannie hears the Dr. speaking and stops to listen Ooh.. Thats no good. I hope you feel better Dr_Pickles... and I hope Katie didnt get hurt at all.. We cant have injured RHW's around here. |
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| Reply by: Fannie at May 31, '09 09:43 | |
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Katie listens to the lecture with her jaw dropped open. At the end she realized everyone was staring and closed it right shut. I have no idea what this man is talking about! I'm sweet and innocent and would never hurt a fly. She shot Dr. Pickles a look and then smiled, picking up her rather heavy handbag - continuing on her way |
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| Reply by: KatieMurdock at Jun 01, '09 20:57 | |
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| It's true. She wouldn't hurt a fly. But, I am not a fly, and she would hurt me! | |
| Reply by: Dr_Pickles at Jun 01, '09 20:58 | |
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Katie blushes. Well it might be true. She confesses. But you heard what he said! "Go buy some make-up!" This face doesn't need a layer of cake to make it pretty, I'm naturally beautiful! She looked over at Dr Pickles and playfully added. Sir you are very lucky you aren't a fly or you'd be stuck to my swatter. |
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| Reply by: KatieMurdock at Jun 01, '09 21:02 | |
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I didn't realize it was you! I said I was sorry! *Pickles starts to tear up* Just, please don't hit me again with that bag! *Pickles sees the bag and shudders* |
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| Reply by: Dr_Pickles at Jun 01, '09 21:21 | |
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Katie pulls the bag over her left shoulder and guides the Dr down the street. Why don't we go grab a cup of Joe, he'll beat the sanity back into you! |
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| Reply by: KatieMurdock at Jun 01, '09 21:25 | |
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| This might be the last time anyone sees me alive! Katie, can we go to a place with lots and lots of witnesses who are not on your payroll? | |
| Reply by: Dr_Pickles at Jun 01, '09 23:07 | |
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Well... She pauses slightly That might be hard to do, but I'll do my best just for you. She leaned into the Dr and gave him a slight reassuring hug, but quickly moved away before he got the wrong idea or told her to go get a facial. |
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| Reply by: KatieMurdock at Jun 02, '09 00:31 | |
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