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| The Jailbreak (RP) | Started by: Gaara on Nov 05, '07 00:23 |
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The scene was set, two men are sat around the table, making strides through their Havana cigars. The person to be recognised is Gaara, a young dashing man that attracts all the ladies and knows how to flash the cash. On the other side of the table is Oliver McTavish, albeit a man in power, Oliver has problems with his nerves and stutters a lot. If you look at Oliver you will instantly notice a distinguishing 5 inch mole on his left cheek followed by a vast array of hairs poking from the *coughs* normal face mark. Gaara and Oliver have been arguing and showing distress that one of our fellow friends had been caught by the police. Yes, Cthulhu was caught exposing himself to all the women at the Women's Institute. His famous saying 'Here is a nice needle ladies' have been echoed through the streets for the last couple of months. But on a drizzly Friday afternoon, he had been caught. The poor guy had fallen down oh his....equipment *coughs loudly* After a two hour conversation and many bouts of spitting rounds later, Gaara and Oliver had decided, they were going to break Cthulhu out of jail. With Gaara holding his bottle of finest ale around in town, and Oliver holding his glass of Non-alcoholic wine, the plan had quickly formed together. 'Why must I wear women's clothes??' Oliver spitted out. 'Do we have to go through this again??? We all know that you have an unusually high voice, not a single hair on your body, and have soft, fair and extremely small hands for a man of your age.' Oliver looks away as he knows he has been beaten. In an act of trying to forget the argument that has just taken place, Oliver starts to fan himself with his hand in a flopped motion. Gaara laughs. *Later the same night* A vintage 1938 Ford pulls into the front of Mad Hatters Prison. Mad Hatters was not the name of the prison, but rather its nick name. It came from the rumour that you would have to be insane to commit a crime and go to Mad Hatters prison. It has the biggest number of serial exposers incarcerated here than any other prison in America. A jail befitting the name Cthulhu. Oliver slowly steps out of the Ford. The first thing to hit the floor was Oliver's right foot in an orange high heel. Yes, Oliver had been demoted to wearing women's clothes. With several frustrated groans, Oliver was waddling to the front of the prison, whilst overhearing Gaara's bouts of laughter. Several minutes and a quick pick of the arse, Oliver had made his way through the front door. 'I'm here to see Cthulhu', Oliver muttered in a quiet tone. 'Pardon luvvv? Shouted the fat prison guard. 'I'M HERE TO SEE CTHULHU!!' Screamed Oliver in a girlish manner. 'Ok luvvv, keep your knickers on' Oliver blushed and giggled whilst hiding behind his pink scarf. The fat prison guard gets off his revolving seat and leads Oliver through several steal barred door. As Oliver entered the visitors room, he was greeted my several wolf whistles and half a dozen hip thrusts by several of the older inmates. Oliver blushes and giggles behind his petite hand. He sits down at Cthulhu's table and is greeted by a single dirty line. 'Do you want to see my big needle little girl' Oliver contemplates the thought for a minute and then shakes his head in a dopey way. 'It's Oliver you idiot!' Oliver utters in a high pitched whisper. Cthulhu nearly falls off his chair and starts to make retching noises. It was lucky that the guards didn't pay any notice to Cthulhu's ever reddening face. 'Oh hush! You wouldn't turn it down', Oliver huffs. Cthulhu shrugs his shoulders and gives Oliver a slight wink. Gaara suddenly gets long, cold shiver down his neck and looks in the back of his car. Notices that no one is around, he goes back to reciting his basic badda bing lingo. 'No we are here to get you out Cthulhu! Gaara is waiting in the car now. In approximately 30 minutes, we are going round the back of the prison with the car. Attach some of the finest ropes in Chicago to the bars in the wall and drive away! Hopefully this will pull the wall away, with this done we will do the same to your cell window and break you out! But you must be ready! Otherwise Gaara might punish us!' Oliver's voice reduced to a whimper. Cthulhu gulps and wipes his forehead. After a few more minutes of mindless chatter, the wardens ring the bell, signalling that visit time was over and for everyone to leave. As people were saying their goodbyes and Oliver was walking back to the exit, waggling his arse, a fierce volley of 'hey sexy, fancy seeing our needles' broke out in the room. Oliver was stunned and obviously quite aroused, but seeing Gaara's furious face in his head, he thought it best to leave. Twenty nine minutes later, Gaara and Oliver were applying the ropes to the window holes in the wall where the metal bars are. 'I fucking hope you told him the right instructions Oliver', Gaara bellowed. 'Ohhhhh relax honey! It's all been taken care of! Oliver screeches as he tuts and flicks his hair back whilst clicking his teeth. Gaara just about manages to swallow the sickness back down his throat and runs off back to the car with Oliver in close pursuit. Gaara revs the engine and looks behind as he puts the car to full throttle and puts his foot down to the floor on the pedal. The cars tyres rotate quickly as steam came out of the rubber. The car quickly accelerates backwards and with a big crash! Bam! Wallop! The wall funs down. Gaara and Oliver both throw their fists in the air in success and quickly ran and applied the ropes to Cthulhu's cell window bars. Again the tyres rotated quickly and smoked appeared from the car. Five seconds after this, the war came crumbling down and out jumped Cthulhu. 'HERE COMES THE NEEDLE LADIES!!!' Cthulhu screamed. The trio averted their eyes to the left and caught the eye of several prisoner guards running across the wet lawn with tommy guns. Several fired shots later, Cthulhu had got in the car and Gaara had put his foot to the pedal, speeding the car to the left of the prison. As Cthulhu, Gaara and Oliver looked back, they saw a barrage of guards screaming for help and running around aimlessly. As Gaara looked forward he gave a smile and sighed.' We did it guys! Our finest hour! The cre de la cre! Gaara looked to the left to see Cthulhu breathing heavily and rubbing a certain part of his pants. As Gaara's smile disappeared he looked behind to see Oliver sprawled out on the back seats, sighing femininely and dabbing the corners of his eyes with a pink tissue. Gaara shudders violently and looks forward. He chokes out a cough and seriously wonders why he picked these 'people' as friends. The car speeds off into the sunset followed by a single feminine scream. |
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Funny...I remember it a little differently.... The Great Cthulhu, head still spinning from a cell block raisin jack drinking contest looks around in confusion as the scene unfolds before him. Prison guards armed with choppers spraying high-velocity lead poisoning were everywhere. Seemed like there was a bull tied to every gott damn rock, alright. Shaking his Bulbous green head did little to clear it. The smell of cordite was omnipresent, and the night sky was electric with the flash of tracers winging their way towards the Ford. It was utter chaos. Deafeningly loud and glorious. The Great Cthulhu ducks his head and dives through the open door of the rear seat, turning to see Oliver McTavish leap onto the running board brandishing twin 1911's. With Olivers .45's screaming death in every known language The Great Cthulhu pounds on the back of the drivers seat. Time to blow this popsicle stand! Step on it! Gears gnashing, tires screeching their protestations, the trio thunder into the night. Armed and dangerously drunken. As their pursuers lights fade from sight into the distance Oliver holsters his Colts and climbs into the car. Not easy for anyone to do considering their speed but Ollie deftly handled the feat with trademark style and panache then closed the door behind himself. Leaning across the back of the seat he catches The Great Cthulhu's eye and subtly motions towards their driver with a nod. Eyes widening in recognition, The Great Cthulhu rapidly sobers up and takes stock of their surroundings. His Great needle was magnetic and always pointed to true north.....which was in the opposite direction from where they were now heading. Which meant they were heading.....roughly.....straight towards the FBI National Academy! The Great Cthulhu shakes his head and sends his feelers flying about in agitation. Leaning forward he catches a glimpse of their driver. It's Gaara! Gott damn it Sandy-pants! You're going the wrong way again! |
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| Reply by: Cthulhu at Nov 07, '07 20:37 | |
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Strange how cowards change the story to suit their needs Cthulhu *winks* Let's take a look at yur profile: Name: Cthulhu Sex: Male (probably) Age: 24 Mental Age: 10 Occupation: Full-time pervert Criminal Record: Eight counts of indecent exposure Physical Threat: (on a scale of one - ten, ten being the most dangerous) -2 Known skills: Minimal Sound like someone who 'saved the day'?? Hardly... *winks* |
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| Reply by: Gaara at Nov 07, '07 20:45 | |
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The Great Cthulhu rolls his eyes towards the heavens Known skills: Minimal?!? Pffft Everyone knows I can pee a startlingly accurate recreation of da Vinci's "Last Supper" in the snow. |
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| Reply by: Cthulhu at Nov 08, '07 23:43 | |
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But thats not what you would call dangerous now would you?? And yes....it's using your penis again...anyone else see a pattern here?? No? *shakes my head and leaves* |
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| Reply by: Gaara at Nov 11, '07 13:31 | |
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Not dangerous?!? au contraire mes amis. We have rats here in New York that can stand flat footed and mount a turkey. Making outdoor snow art is indeed dangerous, and those foolhardy enough to attempt their own masterpieces without rabies and tetanus vaccinations do so at great personal risk. Of course we are discussing art here Gaara so I realize that it's over your head. Hell, you told me yourself your favourite colour was "clear". |
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| Reply by: Cthulhu at Nov 11, '07 13:43 | |
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