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| I have a question for you | Started by: Awesome on Jun 14, '09 18:46 |
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The winner(s) win 1 Awesome Point. 1. This morning I started my day by insulting my mother in public, then punched out my father, my brother, and my sister. Then I gathered up all my clothes, sold them to a second-hand store, and with the proceeds bought a used assault rifle and 50 rounds of ammunition. Next, I went down to the animal shelter and injected all the dogs with a drug that caused them to go insane and dive into the nearby canal where they all drowned. By this time I was hungry, so I went over to my neighbor's apple orchard and burned it down, because I wanted an orange and there weren't any. On the way home, I stopped at the local steel mill to discuss my philosophy of life with some of the guys. They laughed at me and said to stow it, so I tossed them all into the blast furnace. That night I discovered my son looking at a copy of Playboy. Concerned for his future welfare, I cut off his right hand. What historical character did my activities today most resemble? A. Genghis Khan B. Charles Manson C. Adolph Hitler D. Jesus Christ More to follow. |
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| B | |
| Reply by: Ice_Pick at Jun 14, '09 18:47 | |
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If it is Jesus, he must be delighted people only remember his positives. ~T~ |
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| Reply by: Tallien at Jun 14, '09 18:57 | |
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C Just because noone has chosen it yet :P |
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| Reply by: BlackHandRourke at Jun 14, '09 21:09 | |
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D. Some of the parables are played for the big lulz, ain't they. |
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| Reply by: Judge_Holden at Jun 14, '09 21:22 | |
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| C for correct | |
| Reply by: NZ at Jun 14, '09 22:16 | |
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| Charles Manson. | |
| Reply by: Valkyrie at Jun 14, '09 22:25 | |
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| Genghis Khan. | |
| Reply by: Riddle- at Jun 15, '09 00:36 | |
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| Charles Manson. | |
| Reply by: Anoxia at Jun 15, '09 02:05 | |
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Well, some of them might have cross-references, but have a look closer at these: a. "injected all the dogs with a drug that caused them to go insane and dive into the nearby canal where they all drowned" - Jesus sending the demons into the pigs and making them drown themselves in the river. b. "I went over to my neighbor's apple orchard and burned it down, because I wanted an orange and there weren't any" - Jesus cursed the fig tree because it had no figs. c. "They laughed at me and said to stow it, so I tossed them all into the blast furnace" - Jesus said that those who don't believe in him will burn forever in hell. d. "That night I discovered my son looking at a copy of Playboy. Concerned for his future welfare, I cut off his right hand." - Jesus said that if your hands (or eyes, or whatever) sin, then they should be cut off (or plucked out). So, the winners are Judge_Holden and Tallien. Next question: 2. You are a Starfleet Federation explorer in the process of cataloging two newly discovered planets. The majority of the inhabitants of each planet believe in a deity, but they are two different deities. Deity "X" is said to be not only all-powerful, all-loving, and all-knowing, but the designer of a marvelously complex and ordered world. Deity "Y" is said to be indifferent, absent, unconcerned with the affairs of his planet, and some even say evil. Which god rules over which planet? Planet A: Has apparently achieved a state of advanced benign equilibrium in which there are no viruses or diseases, and only a very small number of natural disasters, which, when they do strike, always eliminate only the sinful and evil. The inhabitants, both plant and animal, have learned to maintain their existence through photosynthesis, and thus do not have to kill and eat each other in order to survive. There are no "birth defects"; every inhabitant comes into existence perfectly formed and equipped for a long and productive life. Planet B: Adorned with many examples of beauty and order, it is also constantly beset by hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis, floods, volcanoes, lightning bolts, viruses, disfiguring diseases, parasites, leeches, flies, crop-destroying pests and many other phenomena which afflict both the innocent and the evil. Every life form on the planet can only sustain its existence through the destruction and consumption of other life forms. Some of the inhabitants are born with a crippling condition called a "birth defect" which condemns them to living extremely limited, short or painful lives. |
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| Reply by: Awesome at Jun 15, '09 07:44 | |
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Obviously, Deity X rules over Planet B. He is a concerned God, and probably vengeful, therefore you have the incidents of "acts of God". By process of elimination, Deity Y rules over Planet A. Or, you could say that his absenteeism and indifference allows a process of natural selection which results in perfect adaptation of the various species. |
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| Reply by: Butt_Ox at Jun 15, '09 08:35 | |
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