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| It's Awesome's twenty-first birthday! | Started by: Awesome on Jun 15, '09 10:57 |
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Awesome awoke. Suddenly. It was the sun's fault. Very bright. But a beautiful day. As days go. At least, it was now. It'd been raining earlier. And stormy. Not nice. But Awesome didn't know this. He'd been sleeping. Like a baby. As he does. Okay? Right. Anyway, as he awoke, he smiled. Today was a special day. A very special day. Today was Awesome's first twenty-first birthday. He'd been waiting for this day for over a year. Finally it had come. Yay! He jumped up out of bed and threw on some clothes. Ran to the kitchen and made some breakfast: sausage and eggs and bacon and beans and tomatoes and black pudding and fried bread and mushrooms and toast with butter and a mug of coffee; milk, but no sugar. He's sweet enough as it is, thank you very much. But all this is quite unimportant. What matters is the presents. Awesome liked presents. Especially birthday presents. He ran into his living room and dived towards his birthday tree, rummaging through the boxes of stuff that had been delivered by the birthday bunny and her carriage of red-haired fairies. He grabbed the biggest box, ripped off the wrapping paper (it was pink with little pictures of little fat men with big bushy beards and bigger bulging bellies) and opened it up. Oh, the awesomeness! It was a gun. One of those shooty guns. The ones that shoot things at people and make them go "ow!". Or make them go deaded. He liked those guns. They were fun. He picked it up and aimed it at the door. "Bang! Bang! Bang!" Awesome shouted. Then frowned. The gun didn't bang, bang, or bang. It just clicked, clicked, and clicked once more. But fear not! For Awesome had spotted a smaller box under the tree. Hoping, Awesome opened it. And there is a God, for inside were gun shots! Yes, those things which make guns go bang, bang, and bang. He loaded them up and aimed once again at the door. "Bang! Bang! Bang!" Awesome shouted. Then smiled. The gun banged, banged, and banged a final time. Three holes appeared in the door. Bullet holes, you see? It's what happens when dense pieces of metal meet wood after being propelled at a considerable speed. Physics and all. "That was fun!" He pondered for a moment. And then pondered no more, for he had a plan! An ingenious plan! He jumped to his feet and ran to the door. After the expected opening of the door and walking through and closing of the door, Awesome ran downstairs and into the street. He ran further and further until he was some significant distance away from his house and followed his feet into the dark dingy Detroitian alleyways. Now he walked. Because he was tired. Even awesome people get tired after running significant distances. And especially so after only having recently awoken. He walked towards a door. It was one of those back entrances. Probably the back entrance to come criminal place. Where criminals work. Not wanting to disturb those nice fellows, he instead decided to walk to another door. It looked like the back entrance to a fancy restaurant. Much more suitable. He approached and knocked. And waited. Knocked again. And waited some more. He heard footsteps. Jackpot! The door opened and a man emerged. For some reason he had a shocked look spread across his face. It might have something to do with having a shooty gun aimed towards his eyes. "Hi! It's my birthday! Look what I got!" Awesome was gleeful. "Are you going to wish me a happy birthday?" The man froze. Then stammered as he tried to speak. "h...h...happy...happy...b...birth...birth...bithday." He didn't seem happy. "Do you have a present for me?" Awesome asked him. Awww, he seemed so much like a child at this moment. Not really much change from normal, though. He's usually quite immature, if truth be told. "Huh? Uh...uh...no, I...uh...don't." The man looked very afraid. And Awesome looked very angry. So he did what he usually does when he's angry and has his gun aimed up towards the eyes of an innocent and frightened man. He pulled the trigger and blasted the other's brain across the wall and watched as the corpse fell to the floor. "Hehehe. That was fun. What a great birthday!". And with that, Awesome headed home to have himself a bubble bath. |
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