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| A Rourke Introduction | Started by: Rourke on Jun 15, '09 19:24 |
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It was a clear black night, a clear white moon. Warren G was on the streets, trying to consume. Suddenly and without warning, the clouds parted, rain fell from the heavens, and poor Warren was hit by a lightning bolt. The last words that fell from his lips before he hit the pavement sounded something like "Regulators!!!! Mount up!" The body lay on the pavement undisturbed for a few hours until a passing jalopy ran over Warren's foot. As the automobile jolted from the unexpected bump in the road, the driver turned to the man in the passenger seat and exclaimed: "My God, man! What was that?" His passenger placed his left hand tightly over his cap while his right grasped tightly around the basket he was holding. He spoke quickly and nervously: "I'm not sure, but I'm prepared for the worst. Here we are in the midst of a terrible war trying to make the most unexpected deliveries. Do you think it's going to be worth it?" The first man responded: "It damn well better be worth it. Marietta paid us a hefty sum to get what she asked for." The driver put his foot down harder on the pedal and together they sped off towards The Riot! HQ. An hour later they were safely parked out front and both men stepped out of the vehicle. The driver, Doctor Ben Dover and his passenger, Lab Assistant Miguel Chatsworth XIV briskly walked to the massive pink door of the castle. Doctor Dover knocked several times and Lab Assistant Chatsworth started pounding after the Doctor's gentle knocks were not heard. Doctor Dover whispered to Chatsworth: "I hope she hurries to meet us. We are here at the exact arranged time to deliver the goods. I'm terribly afraid of being shot in this climate." At that exact moment, Doctor Dover was shot in the head. His blood splattered across the brightly painted O in "The Riot!" Lab Assistant Chatsworth set the basket down on the doorstep, carefully making sure the note was pinned to it, and sprinted for the car. As he slid into the driver's seat, he fumbled around for the keys and started cursing under his breath: "Damn damn damn damn DAMN IT. Doctor Dover is dead.....and I'm probably next. I hope the package is safe with her and that she...." A shadowy figure walked up to the car door as Chatsworth wasn't paying attention and shot him in the side of the head. War is vicious. The dead body of Warren G still lay in the streets miles away. Fifteen minutes later, Marietta made Kates poke her head outside the door to the HQ. Kates signaled that the coast was clear and Marietta went to retrieve the small basket on her doorstep. Marietta noticed a letter pinned onto the basket and began to read:
Marietta reached into the basket and pulled out what she assumed would be a small baby. Instead a fully grown man popped out. He had rock-hard pecs, washboard abs, and was basically everything BrianRourke desired to be AND to have in a man. He calmly stuck out a hand to Marietta and began to speak: "Greetings, ma'am. My name is Rourke. It's one of those one-word legendary names like "Charlemagne" or "Jesus" or "Godzilla." Doctor Dover told me you might have a position for me in your HeadQuarters.....I personally hope it is reverse cowgirl, but beggars can't be choosers, now can they?" Marietta began to feel both hot and bothered and started to speak. Rourke placed a finger to her lips and quieted her. "Not now ma'am. I understand you're in the midst of some strategic planning. Come show me where I will be staying and I'll try to help as best as I can." Marietta took Rourke by the hand and showed him the room previously inhabited by Rourkey Jefferson Rourke. The walls were plastered with childish drawings of clowns as well as several framed photos of numerous men and women from the various cities covered in lipstick. Rourke noticed a large bottle of hand lotion next to the bed. He felt a bit disgusted by the slovenly upkeep of the room's original owner. He burned down the room and quickly constructed a bachelor pad complete with a fully stocked bar. Satisfied with his work, Rourke turned back to Marietta and spoke confidently: "Thank you for this opportunity, Ms. Rossi. I will not let you down." Rourke quickly hopped in a nearby jalopy once owned by Lab Assistant Chatsworth. He had much work to do in order to help rebuild Detroit, but first Aurora was counting on him to bring over her daily tea and crumpets. |
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| Great and funny read, bro. | |
| Reply by: Skitzo at Jun 15, '09 19:28 | |
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| Hahaha, wow that was extremely hilarious. | |
| Reply by: Michael_Corleone_ at Jun 15, '09 23:44 | |
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