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Odd Appears next each spectator and whispers in each passerby's ear, simultaneously
Hi....Its been out there for quite sometime and I am the procrastinator of all procrastinators, then with the war...I have finally had some time to to sort through this and with the help of Paul_Walker himself and GodMother Marietta we have decided to give a first and second Place. First place money's were donated by the Late JimmyTheLionHeart. Second place funds were donated by the lovely Marietta. My gratitude goes out to them both. Without taking your ear off..i mean..talking... Here are your winners:
In First place with the prize of $3,000,000.
Kizzy
Kizzy instinctively shot a glare over her shoulder once she felt a hand pinching her rump. The fact that there was nothing there only caused her to give an annoyed grunt. These groping ghosts had plagued Kizzy since she had first started roaming the halls of SPIRIT headquarters. She had once complained about it to Capo Bastone Paul_Walker, who had merely smiled, tilted his head, and replied that "they do that sometimes". Since then, she had simply tried to hurry through the hallways as quickly as possible--it usually worked, too. Today, however, she was carrying a delicate tea set perched on a tray, all of an estimated value of "too expensive to drop". Thus, she was creeping through the drafty halls at a snail's pace, enduring the occasional pinch or grab with an deepening scowl.
Once she finally arrived at Paul's office, she gave a brief sigh of relief and kicked the door three times with a shout to open up. After a moment of muffled speech, it was opened by Paul himself...kind of. Kizzy had to blink a few times before recognizing the figure in the doorway. It was Paul, all right--but he had a shirt on. Not just the shirt, either. A full three-piece suit. No more clearly visible washboard abs, no more sculpted chest or Adonis-like shoulders. Simply a bland black suit. She shook her head in disbelief.
"Paul, what's with the...this?" Kizzy motioned to the suit, then barely managed to catch the tray before it crashed to the floor. Paul gave her a concerned look and steadied the teapot.
"With the what? Oh, this tie? Yeah, I didn't mean to get a purple one. It looked navy until I got it under the light. But I paid a pretty penny for it, so, you know. Waste not, want not, and all that. Here, come on in."
He stepped to the side, holding the door open. Kizzy stood in the doorway with an expression of mixed horror and confusion.
"No, no, no. You should be laughing derisively at me for almost dropping this. Who are you, and what have you done with Paul?"
The man tilted his head with a confused look.
"What do you mean, Kizzy? Look, are you coming in or not? That tea's probably getting cold."
Kizzy stared at him for a second longer before entering the office and setting down the tray onto his desk. She leaned against a dusty liquor cabinet, studying the man with narrowed eyes. There was definitely something different about him. She turned and opened the cabinet doors, rummaging about for a bottle of whiskey. She glanced over her shoulder to see Paul pouring two cups of tea and humming happily to himself.
"So, Paul...you seem more...uh, upbeat than usual. Are you doing something new?"
Paul nodded emphatically as he stirred some sugar into his cup.
"Yeah, actually! I was feeling a little...down, I guess, and I went to see this doctor who gave me some pills. Said they'd cheer me right up. And boy, did they ever! I've been feeling even better than usual. Normal, you know?"
Kizzy almost dropped the bottle she was pulling out of the cupboard. Paul_Walker was not normal, and he didn't desire to be normal. Well, not normally. These pills would have to go. Quickly regaining her composure, Kizzy smiled warmly to Paul and poured some whiskey into her mug of tea. As she reached over to pour the whiskey into his cup, Paul pulled it quickly away.
"Oh, please don't. I'm trying to cut back." Paul chuckled as he looked into her puzzled face. "I haven't wanted to drink as much lately, even.."
Kizzy gave a halfhearted guffaw before setting the bottle down and sinking slowly into the armchair in front of the man's desk. Would the nightly ritual of drinking Paul under the table, then, be a thing of the past? No. These pills would have to be gone very shortly. She gave him a quick smile and sipped her drink.
"What kind of pills are these, anyway?"
"You know, I can't pronounce the name, but all I care is that they work." Paul shrugged and took a short gulp from his own tea. "Anyway, we need to get down to business."
Throughout their meeting, Kizzy became increasingly amazed and impatient with his new mannerisms. They may have been becoming of an accountant, but certainly not a haunted mobster. She mostly managed to keep her mind on the business at hand, but when he used the word "golly", she had to excuse herself. She stood in the hallway, breathing deeply for a moment and thinking. This was not the Paul she knew, and this would not stand. Kizzy turned suddenly, pushing open the door and marching inside. Paul looked up with a slightly confused smile that morphed into a look of outrage as she walked around his desk and began pulling out drawers, reaching in to rifle through the contents before slamming them back in an unsatisfied way.
"What the heck are you doing? Stop that this instant!"
"Just a--here!" Kizzy gave a triumphant sound as she pulled out a small pill bottle. She peered at the label, mouthing the syllables of the long name printed there. She rattled the bottle near her ear before pulling the cap off and quickly dumping out a handful into her palm. Paul tried to snatch them away from her, but she managed to hold them out of his reach. "Paul, you're not yourself, and it's not natural. I'm going to find out what's in these pills--that's a bullshit name on the bottle for one thing." Kizzy dumped the pills on the desk and smashed a few into powder with the bottom of the whiskey bottle. Paul gave a short sound of protest as she dipped a finger into the powder and tasted it. She paused for a moment, letting it run over her tongue, before bursting into a giggle. She shook her head and scooped the remaining pills back into the bottle.
"Sorry, Paul. You can keep taking them if you want."
"What the--"
"They're fucking placebos. Sugar pills. You've been feeling the way you have because you thought that they'd make you feel that way. It's all psychological."
Paul stared at her with an open mouth for several moments before giving a short, rage-filled grunt.
"Do you know how much that fucking quack charged me? This is bullshit!"
He continued cursing as he gathered several things around his office and loosened his tie. Tucking his gun into its holster, he blustered past Kizzy, who watched him storming out the door with a satisfied sigh. This was much better.
In Second place with the prize of $1,000,000.
gizaro
Gizaro materializes into family HQs. He sees Paul Walker sitting at the bar looking quite ordinary, regular, and plain. Gizaro notices a serious problem when he actually sees a smile on Paul's face. Paul is also wearing an I LOVE DETROIT t-shirt.
Gizaro thinks to himself, "We got a serious problem here"!
Gizaro walks over to Paul and whispers something into his ear. Immediately, Paul gets up and follows Gizaro into the Men after Midnight section of HQs.
Upon entering the room, Paul notices a large round table surrounded by the entire family. Paul sits and Gizaro speaks on behalf of the great Don Odd.
On behalf of the great Don Odd, our spiritual leader, I have asked everyone here to join us in a special seance for one of our own leaders, brother, and one of the most evil ass guys I have ever met, Paul Walker. Paul has fell into the grasps of being a regular normal gangster. He desperately needs our help. Let me explain. What is a ghost possession? It's the condition where a person's soul or SPIRIT is joined with or co-mingled with a normal good ghost. In this family we are all affected by the SPIRIT of Don Odd, we must have it. The Don's SPIRIT is this familiy's life blood. We all can do extrordinary things by accepting the SPIRIT into ourselves. We now must introduce that SPIRIT back into Paul Walker. One problem is that brother Walker must be willing to rid himself of this boring normal ghost and take possession of his old SPIRIT. Brother Paul Walker are you ready?
Paul lets out a quiet, Okay guys.
Gizaro continues...
Tonight, we will have a unexorcism of Paul Walker by introducing the SPIRIT back into him and ridding him of the bad normal ghost. We are going to have a seance. The great Don Odd will be the medium for this forum.
Gizaro dims the lights, and lights three candles in the center of the table.
Gizaro speaks again
Everyone settle down now! Begin by concentrating on Paul Walker and meditating on how to get the SPIRIT into him. Now that everyone is sitting, relaxed, settled, and ready to begin it is time for everyone to join hands. Now is the time for Don Odd to say aloud a short blessing for a positive and safe seance. Don will also ask everone at the table to breathe deeply, and to focus their energies to the "other side."
Don Odd now starts the seance by saying the blessing and continues...
Everyone repeat after me. Our dear SPIRIT Creepy we ask that you join us. We ask for your knowledge and for your insight and answers, we summons you with the power of hate & darkness.
Don Odd's eyes roll back into his head and he speaks for the SPIRIT of Creepy
Creepy "I'm not very sure as to whether you can hear me or not."
Odd"We can hear you very well."
Creepy continues,"Very well indeed, thank you. Good. Before I commence talking to you about what I feel is a matter of great interest, and I'm sure you'll find what I have to say of some service and of great use, I want you to make quite sure that you hear distinctly because it's rather a problem to know exactly how much one Paul Walker is slipping into the real boring world. I do not have to presumably go into a lot of detail about this matter and how it affects the family and what those difficulties are that we have to contain with. This point I'm sure you know quite well. I have been thinking very much latterly how interesting it would be for me to come and talk to you about SPIRIT and the re-possession of Paul Walker by myself and Don Odd...Because I'm sure of the work you're trying to do, and you've been doing this successfully. You must have many questions put to you by people, and particularly the question about ghosts or SPIRIT itself; and since I myself, when I was on your side studied the subject and as you probably know I wrote quite a bit about it - about my endeavoring to discover the truth and the matter, particularly with regards to Odd - my name by the way is Creepy. But the reason for my coming is that I thought a discussion, a talk, on Paul Walker would be interesting, and also perhaps answer, as I hope it certainly will - my talk to you - certain problems with regards to him. One often hears of ghosts and entities that haunt a certain place, often for centuries, and sometimes they are, according to the mentality of the ghosts in question, a nuisance. Sometimes they are very much undesirables from the point of view that they disturb and induce boredom on the individuals who happen to be living on the premises. This has happened to Paul Walker. First you have the ghost of an individual who is long since dead; that has no connection with the actual SPIRIT of Paul Walker. What I'm trying to say here is that you have a very powerful thought force which, by its very powers give the impression that Paul Walker is boring and dull. This is just a ghost. What actually is happening is that the Paul Walker is not necessarily present. This apparition has taken over but this apparition has no power whatsoever, because the mentality of the mind of the ghost is not there, is not present. In other words it is a kind of a shell that is formed around Paul Walker. It can only move in certain areas and under certain conditions, and can only be seen quite often by people who are without realising it mediumistic or sensitive to it like Don Odd. By this, what I am trying to convey to you is that a ghost is an entirely different thing to a SPIRIT. You might say a ghost, he has no real substance and no real power. No man has the power to exorcise but now I will do it for the family.
A strong breeze blows the doors open and shakes the room
It is done. The boring, normal, good ghost is gone and Paul is now SPIRIT for LIFE again. Goodbye and evil blessings upon this family.
With that Don Odd stops talking for Creepy and returns to his own SPIRIT.
Don Odd speaks
We must all thank the SPIRIT for speaking. Thank you from the Don, Creepy, for helping us.
At that, Gizaro stands and blows out the candles. Immediately after this Paul Walker jumps on top of the large round table drawing his guns. Pauls screams SPIRIT for LIFE, runs out of the room into the street and kills two gangsters.
Gizaro says to Don Odd, I think we got our evil Consigliere back.
Thanks to all the participants! I also tossed a couple crackdowns myself to both winners!
like the sound from a sea shell held to your ear, Odd dissipates into thin air |
