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| Backalley Pyschiatrist | Started by: ThePiano on Nov 10, '07 19:26 |
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As you walk down the sidewalk, you notice a piece of paper loosely tacked to the wall, flapping in the wind. The piece of paper reads, "Dr. Piano, Ph.D, ABC, XYZ, 411, DoG, K.E.W.L., CBS, NBC, BBC, POS." Curious, you turn down a dark, rain swept alleyway between two very tall buildings. On your way down the alley, you notice signs with just red arrows on them. You notice a new door where a wall used to be. This door is of all the colors in the world......red. It also has a silver plaque on it. You decide to step through the door. Werlcome! I am Dr.Piano,Ph.D, ABC, XYZ, 411, DoG, K.E.W.L., CBS, NBC, BBC, POS. This is my practice, what is troubling your mind? Stalking crewleaders, snoring lemmings in your closet at night, tightie whities staying in a wad, think that stuffed moose in the corner is out to get you, when you were a child, did you eat a whole pack of pop rocks and down a whole can of soda trying to committ suicide? I can help with all those and more! All you have to do is pay a fee (i.e.GIVE ME MONEY!), and I can help alleviate your problems. If you do not want your problems discussed in public, I always take private clients. Lay on the couch, and let's begin.......... |
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LaSorda strolls in with a sad look on his face. He seems to be quite distraught. As he closes the door behind him, he takes his seat in the waiting room and awaits the Dr. The receptionist calls LaSorda back into the Doctors room and he takes his place on the layback chair in the middle of the room. Doc Piano comes in and sits next to him and smiles. He asks what seems to be the matter, and LaSorda begins to talk. Oh Doc. You're not gonna believe it. I woke up this morning and my place was practically empty. My lady had gotten up hours before me, packed up all her shit, and moved right out. No warning, no complaints, not even a letter saying goodbye. This day has been the worst of my life. And to top it off, on my way over here a huge delivery truck drove through a water puddle and splashed muddy water all over my favorite suit. Oh, did I forget to mention that my lady even took the dog? What should I do? I'm so sad. |
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| Reply by: LaSorda at Nov 10, '07 19:39 | |
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I think I'm a dog. I saw DoG. Dawn of Glory rings through my dog like ears. Rar? Oh hold on, you're psychiatrics. No no, I'm fine mentally, really. |
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| Reply by: Carlo at Nov 10, '07 19:43 | |
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Oh thank God, a doctor. She rushes up to him, fear pouring from her eyes as the tears run down her face. Help me, good Doctor, alphabetician, newscaster, random acronyminator... She yanks up her sleeve to show a rather nasty rash up and down her arm. It started after I shook RonMexico's hand... I don't know if its contagious. |
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| Reply by: LittleEvey at Nov 10, '07 19:55 | |
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Mind you, you think I've got problems? Carlo gives an involuntary bark which was then poorly disguised as a cough. You're calling yourself a piano. You're not very "keyed up" Carlo cracks up at his own pun, before trying to scratch behind his ear with his foot. |
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| Reply by: Carlo at Nov 10, '07 20:06 | |
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Looks at the three people setting in his office, and thinks to himself. "Ok, here we go!" LaSorda, I need your payment or you must leave! Carlo, there is a kennel out back for you with treats.... Evey my dear, wrong kind of doctor, but after looking at that rash, you will turn into a Cream Cheese container soon, I'm sorry about that..... |
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| Reply by: ThePiano at Nov 10, '07 20:14 | |
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What a quack. Oh God, Carlo! NOW I'M DOING IT! |
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| Reply by: RonMexico at Nov 10, '07 20:17 | |
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Hears Mr. Mexico quack OMG, come in, come in, that sounds serious... |
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| Reply by: ThePiano at Nov 10, '07 20:22 | |
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Gets up from the couch and puts his muddy coat back on. The damn bitch took all my money before she left too. Oh well. Thanks anyways. LaSorda walks out the door with a sad look still on his face. He leaves and heads straight for the nearest bar in hopes that someone there can hear his sob story. |
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| Reply by: LaSorda at Nov 10, '07 21:19 | |
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I am an asshole. No I do not want cured I just want to expand on it if possible,money is no object. |
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| Reply by: Iron_Lung at Nov 11, '07 04:21 | |
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Please....come in...take a seat, I'm willing to listen. Listens as the man tells his story |
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| Reply by: ThePiano at Nov 11, '07 04:29 | |
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| I am convinced i am the chosen one.i just need to dig deep within myself to expose my inner asshole to it's full potential.I need help doc,use your pschological steam shovel and dig up what i need.stir up that grey matter and help me release my inner arsehole. | |
| Reply by: Iron_Lung at Nov 11, '07 05:05 | |
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Realizes he was ignoring the Iron_Lung I'm sorry, what were you saying? |
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| Reply by: ThePiano at Nov 11, '07 23:06 | |
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i cannot remember,i seem to have overdosed on my asshole behavior. Nonetheless I shall fiure out when I am sober |
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| Reply by: Iron_Lung at Nov 12, '07 20:51 | |
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I think you know what you need to do, pick an IT (Irratation Trigger) and make yourself believe what ever you are assholing about, is your IT. That way you may have the full arseholing affect when you are in that state of mind. Smiles at his conclusion and tells Iron_Lung the bill will be in the mail |
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| Reply by: ThePiano at Nov 12, '07 21:02 | |
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