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| Interview with a true asshole! | Started by: Monte on Nov 11, '07 00:03 |
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Walking down the cold Philly street Monte hears load screams and moans coming from the back alley, curiosity and his own perverted thoughts lead him down the dark alley where he finds Iron_Lung tied down to a old blood stained mattress, surrounded by what seems to be twenty men of all ages! Monte quickly decides this is the best chance to get the asshole to answer a few questions... 1. Q:How old were you when you felt you mastered the art of asshole?? A:It was fucking instantly to be honest.I mean sure i am known to be a fairly decent guy around here,but in all aspects I really wanna be THE arsehole...sadly if i am to outdo the others i have a lot of work to do. Deano shakes a fist the OTHERS self righteous pricks!!!!!!! 2. Q:When did you start terrorizing mafia? A:I started way back in the early days of my mafia career.I realized getting drunk and going rogue was da bomb 3.Q: What motivated you to become the asshole you are today? A:You did,i had a vision 5 years ago that said i would meet a guy so far in the closet he was finding Xmas presents.This ermmm man would drive me to the brink of madness. 4.Q: was it something you needed to work at, or was it all natural? A:Surprisingly enough it came quite easily.I spent the first while getting acceptance by most everyone...then once the sense of security set in,I turned on the asshole-like behavior 5.Q: Did you have a mentor? A:Yes i had a mentor,i won't mention names but he did convince me to tell people certain things such as..."Fuck you all,because you are all beneath me: amongst other things. 6.Q: Why the name Iron_Lung? A:To try and Breathe some life into these mother fuckers around here I guess....yeah..does that sound asshole enough?We can edit this right? 7.Q: What advice would you give to a young asshole trying to make it as top asshole? A:Give up now ,you sorry sack of shit! 8.Q:Who is the best asshole ever step foot in this world? A:Biggest asshole? As much as DW wants this honor i would have to say that magicman twat.I still cannot make myself like him at all.I mean the surprised look you gave me suggests I mention he got moved from douche to asshole.My apologies of course. 9.Q:Would you sleep with a goat for no reason? A:Well fucking Duh! who wouldn't? My refusal to do so,would mean that all the gift goats from Zeb are meaningless.And i could not do that,even if it made me more of an asshole. 10.Q:How far do you expect to get with a guy before he finds out you yourself are male? A:Iron_Lung slaps the bitch right off of Monte Next question. 11. Q:Would you put yourself up there with Anita? A:Actually no I would not...I tried to once and she gaced me ....badly i may add. *Iron_Lung bitch slaps Monte again for skipping question 12 and making him lose count 13. Q:Do you think you will ever be a GodFather? A:never,I refuse to.you can't make me so piss off. 14.Q: What were your tactics to becoming this great asshole? A:Becoming better acquainted with you for a start 15.Q: when did you decide farm sex was the "in" thing? A:.Back in Nam.....Again i give a lot of credit to Zebedee for turning me to the barnyard and all it has to offer. 16. Q:How do you feel about anal? A:I am against it,I mean for years you have preached the virtues of it,but i am just not ready to commit myself to the extent you have. 17. Q:If you could do it all over again would you do it the same? A:This is a trick question trying me to admit love for schwarz isn't it? Well I am sorry but it ain't gonna happen EVER! 18. Q:How many gang bangs did you have to go through? A:Go through? I fucking started them all...don't you read the invitations before RSVPing? 19.Q: Are you a sick person? A:I have been known to venture down the path of the ill natured and sick minded.Mind you I am way better with a group of assholes than standing on my own. 20.Q: Did you think you could handle 20 men in a night? A:Iron_Lung slaps Monte for the last time and reprimands him for spilling the beans about his night time hobbies!! |
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| You're going to get shot at for that, you are aware of this right? | |
| Reply by: FrancescoNitto at Nov 11, '07 00:13 | |
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| I only ask the questions, I can't control how someone responds.... | |
| Reply by: Monte at Nov 11, '07 00:14 | |
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| He's aware. I warned him about it, he disregarded that warning. I wash my hands of this. Walks away, shaking his head in disappointment. Another one down the river... | |
| Reply by: Luke_the_Reaper at Nov 11, '07 00:15 | |
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| Whatever you say... | |
| Reply by: FrancescoNitto at Nov 11, '07 00:15 | |
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She shakes her head and starts heading towards her HQ.. I swear you and Iron Lung are going to be the end of me... I'll end up in some cheap, run down sanitarium with the stress you two cause me... Loves you to death but damnnnnnnnnnnnnnn... |
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| Reply by: Three at Nov 11, '07 00:15 | |
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| *Slaps Monte just to be an asshole* | |
| Reply by: YouSucked at Nov 11, '07 00:16 | |
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I love this interview. Affliction claps and laughs at the same time. |
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| Reply by: Affliction at Nov 11, '07 00:53 | |
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Iron_Lung bitchslaps a homeless man to the ground and steps upon him to address whoever is in earshot My friend Monte and myself decided that everyone was bitching and complaining about nothing new or exciting was going on in the streets,leaders being called mutes,no banter,no NOTHING!So we made up a parody of another topic that was the flavor of the day.All in good humor mind you.We have had some serious replies to what we have done here.I want to address some of these replies right here and now.First off,to all those who mailed Monte and threatened to kill him because he was apparently SLAGGING me in this thread.The answers were all mine and mine alone.I appreciate the support but relax please.Stop the frigging hate and leave him be.Now there was some other replies about this thread not being AGE APROPRIATE.Well I am not the boss around here and if it is deemed not worthy to be here then trash it to the recycle bin.But in all aspects if there are alot of you who decided to come out of the woodwork and speak to either of us about unappropriate threads or topics when you have sat there and said nothing for weeks.Yet we come along and yes I admit it is not sesame street grade material by any means,it is hardly anything to warrant a riot over.To those who have said nothing for awhile and decided to open your mouths about our attempt at street activity and humor.What about everytime I see someone called a cunt or a stupid fucking whore in the streets,what about our beloved members of society(a certain group we have all encountered a few times) who endulge themselves to berate and ridicule anyone who may have a life problem that makes them an easy target for these frigging parasites?Why do I never see you speak out against them or any of thier sickening BANTER and bullshit threads/posts or replies? Sure if the powers that be want this type of stuff cleaned up a bit We will happily oblige.But do not expect us to walk on eggshells to make this a peace loving hippie colony.Because it ain't gonna happen in this lifetime. Now that I have vented and said my part.My partner and we will continue to make street appearances when the urge strikes us. In these fine garbage filled streets we live in Monte and myself have found the seriousness of the everyday gangster to be a life draining issue, gone are the days of good jokes and fun times! So with that being said we have decided to bring you " You've got M.A.I.L." M.A.I.L. standing for Monte And Iron_Lung! Pretty cool huh? Now what will follow will be nothing short of comical genius at the pure expense of some recent event!! I know. I know, please hold your applause for later.... Now for those of you who feel that this is wrong... or feel it shouldn't be done... or it's just not funny... PLEASE DO NOT READ OUR THREADS because we will be making fun of you most of all...We specialize in parodies,so relax why can we not have a little fun? These are not personal attacks on anyone who makes the original threads.This is for entertainment.If you don't like it ,don't read it. Iron_Lung steps down off the homeless dude and steals his bottle of Thunderbird and heads off to read some street threads and listen to a few speeches.Who knows Him and Monte may make you famous one day |
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| Reply by: Iron_Lung at Nov 11, '07 08:37 | |
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| That was my homeless dude you were standing on. Find your own. | |
| Reply by: maxwell at Nov 11, '07 12:37 | |
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You weren't around and he didn't put up much of a fight either. Iron_Lung hands over a few hundred bucks and the keys to the hostel on 54th ave Sorry for any inconvienience,feel free to take as many rummies and bims as you need |
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| Reply by: Iron_Lung at Nov 11, '07 12:43 | |
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