It had been a long time since Rev. Al had spoken with his flock of followers. Business at the thrift shop, where Rev. Al resold goods that had been donated to the church, was doing well and needed his attention. A few of the Deacons had began to recruit their own cult followers...(clears throat) church members I mean. The purses were looking lovely, the tithes were over flowing and the offerings were plentiful.

It was a Wednesday night at the church. Rev. Al usually held Wednesday nights, Mid-Week Services in his pastors study with the upper structure of Las Vegas, but tonight was different. Tonight Rev. Al had it on his soul that the people needed to hear from God's personal assistant, God's voice box, God's chosen one, but most importantly, God's appointed anointed. Rev. Al knew all about his position as Community Chaplain and what was expected of him, from God's people, for God's people.

An elderly man walks forward and pulls out a Bible. He began to read scriptures from the Bible just as Rev. Al hopped out of his chair and began dancing around the pulpit...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiTLO2YiJKs

It was such a glorious occasion and Rev. Al "Felt So Good" to have such gracious donors from all the fair cities, who trust Rev. Al with their funds and trusted that he used those funds in the name of the Father.

Rev. Al stopped his praise dance, in congratulation of the tithers and church donors, and began to speak softly

Short Sermon

Yes...Yes...Yes. I FEEL...(pause)...GOOD. Naw naw naw...I don't think yall hear me up in here. I said I......FEEL......GOOD!!! Some of you are looking at me like, "Why Reverend?", well it's because "I GOT YOU!!!!" (Rev. Al points to the left side of the congregation)

And "I GOT YOU!!!!!" (Rev. Al points to the center of the congregation)

And "I GOT YOU!!!!!" (Rev. Al points to the right side of the congregation)

All these monies...(clears throat)...I mean memories that we're creating together are such a blessing from the most high. And when I say most high I'm not talking about Deacon Floyd who fell of the wagon and went back to his wicked ways, smoking the pipe and robbing hoes in the alley, but MOST HIGH as in the FATHER!!

Yes....Yes.....Tonight is a night to magnify the names from top to bottom on The Church Tithing List!!! Because we all know "You.....Are The Real MVP"

Rev. Al wipes the sweat from his face. The associate pastor walks up and whispers something in the Reverends hear and Rev. Al suddenly ends his sermon and calls for the collection plates to be passed around the church.

Give with a kind heart people! I hate to leave you all on such short notice, but my services are needed down at the whore house. Quite a few who need healing hands laid on them. God's duties are never done.

Rev. Al turns and exit the church

Oh, the sweet spirit of charity was in the air today! It was a sermon as magnificent as each one preceding it, delivered with the charisma and larger than life gusto the Reverend had become known for. And how did he end it? By walking out on a service of screaming fans, adulating over his every syllable, a congregation of good, shaky-kneed churchgoers pining for more of God's sweet, funky embrace as vicariously envisioned through his senior-most imperator of hutzpah. What a performance, what showmanship! Capone could feel the sweat dripping down his back. 

"I'll have a goddamn heart-attack at one of these things some day," he muttered to himself.