A tall well dressed Mafioso with a swing in his step ventures outside of the HQ holding a sign that reads: Spanish Lessons 4 Free. As members of the organized famiglia gather to read his sign, he directs them to a conference room situated inside the Spanish Inquisition HQ with the blessing of his Godfather Premier. 

Saludo y respeto to all my fellow men and woman de La Cosa Nostra, today I come before you all to educate and answer any questions in regards to the Spanish language. Many of you speak this distinctive form of communication, yet very few of us use this tongue to widen our democracy skills with the few who are eager to learn or listen. I can easily say 2 Mafiosos can insult the world of crime from right under your noses in Spanish yet only a handful ould even understand the true meaning behind this forgotten language. So here I am to teach those, who as i believe that in this world of ours, Knowledge is Power.

 Lesson # 1 - BAD WORDS (my favorite section)

Todays Word: PENDEJO - Def.- Stupid, Idiot, Moron, etc. 

Now the assignment for this word is, the first 10 mafiosos to submit to me 2 sentences using this word in a PROPER and INPROPER form will receive a special gift and a $$ certificate for your participation in this course.

PRIZE - The PLATANO Award Medal ( with a serial # ) & 10k

Please feel free to contact me for further help or questions and also tutors are availiable. Enjoy my Students.

Telkin walks up to the man and chuckles, he was bound to get some entertainment from this

"Wow, you fucking pendejo. Just had to go and get Boss, I lost a bet saying you were going to be stuck at Capo, thanks a lot!" (proper)

"heyyyy pendejo what's up, feel like smoking a joint?" (improper, why would you call someone stupid and then offer to smoke a joint?)

Telkin points out that he and Diego are friends, and this is purely for entertainment purposes only

Pulling a chair out from a table at the back of the room, he shoots the creases of his pants and shakes loose a deck of dominoes from his coat pocket. The bones always drew a few people around who didn't mind seeing if they could cheat a dollar or two out of a friend. The way he looked at it a guy could get an education and still line his pockets.

Hearing Diego's voice drew his attention to the lectern at the front of the room and he pushed the ivory pieces into a pile in the center of the table. This was a good thing Mr. Rivera was doing. Helping educate fellow associates in this thing of ours. Nodding his head, he knew the score. Knowledge was power. Knowledge was the greatest gift one can give. What else can you give one hundred percent of that which you possess and still retain? Take a hundred clams outta your pocket and give it to your best girl. Now look back in your wallet and see if it magicked itself right back in there. See it? Hell no Jack, you might as well have used it to light your cigar. It's long gone.

On the other hand say I pulled you aside one day and told you everything I know about threading up a short length of six inch well casing, screwing a cap on one end, dropping a pound and a half of roofing nails in it, and packing the son of a bitch up tight with gunpowder. Then say I take a drill and a number nine bit and poke me a hole right smack dab in the center of that other cap and run a length of fuse cord in her before pouring a little melted paraffin wax on her to seal the whole shebang up tight. I show you how to wipe off them threads so you don't have any accidents, then I screw that cap on. After I teach you all of this and you know what to do, do I suddenly forget how to do it myself and you have to in turn relearn me? Nuh uh. It means me and you both are now out there having fun and creating chaos. Someone you takin' a disliking to have a habit of eating lunch every day down at the Snazzy Pig? That mook eat a burger and knock a few beers down then have to throw a piss before he goes back to work every day as well? Try following him in there, lighting that fuse up, and sliding it in the stall next to him. best haul ass outta there too by the way, don't stick around to watch the fun. You can read all about it in the papers in the morning. Now think about it, that's what knowledge is about. You pass it on, you still know how to do it too. Nothing beats a deal like that.

Sounded like today's lesson would be a snap. Two sentences, one proper, and one improper. Catching Diego's eye, he clears his throat and puts his two pesos in.

"Alright, proper sentence...lets see...That pinchi pendejo next door needs to quit letting his dog do his business in my yard before I act the fool."

" Now improper, that's a little tougher...okay...Hey mama what did that pendejo hairdresser cut your hair with, a hay rake? See, it's never proper to cuss in front of you mother or make fun of her hair."

Meh, I think those two... points to Telkin and Judge...actually used the word properly two times.  I guess it's a little tougher to use it incorrectly than people thought. 

So, let me give this a shot.

That pendejo just ran over my foot with his car. 

I used the pendejo to hold up my pants. 

Now, I see what you're saying.  I could be using a moron to hold up my pants, but I prefer to think I just used pendejo to mean belt.  Hahahahaahahahaha.  Oh, I make me laugh. 

Actually Mr. Hayes, I was just making a play on words. That being the word improper. Instead of using it the sense required I used it in a way that would connotate improper behaviour. Like I said, cursing in front of your mother is never proper.

Oooohhhh, that was good.  I just re-read what you said.  Very smart.  I like that.  While you used the word properly, the context was improper.  Very nice. 

In my opinion, words are only properly used in their own language. Call me a conservative.

So my proper sentence would be: Ese pendejo de mierda me tiene los huevos por el piso hablando tantas pavadas.

Another proper sentence, denoting the actual meaning of the word: El otro día me olvidé de enjuagar el jabón luego de bañarme y lo dejé lleno de pendejos luego de lavarme las pelotas.

Improper: Ayer serví la merienda en un pendejo.