Maul enters the street carnival and places his letter on the podium. He lights a cigarette and awaits the crowd around him to form. He then picjs up his letter; unfolds it, clears his throat, and reads aloud.

Ahem.

Open letter to anyone with "Rourke" in their name.

What the hell. How many of them are there?? I have nothing against the whole Rourke haritage or name, but the fad kind of died out in like, december. Now that I have arrived on these shores, with the stories my father and his father have told me about the Rourkes, I was surprised to see so many of them cropping up all over the place.

Apparently, there is a kitten with a last name of rourke. Animals? Now even cute and cuddly critters are Rourkes. I have also seen a half naked one without a first name. I noticed that one "Tallien" seems to dislike his nakedness.

Other Rourkes walking the earth range from Brian to Deadly, from Scipita to Willie.

Now I understand some of the older folks in this thing of ours can't exactly change their names, the paperwork for such a thing must be murder. But parents, please. If your going to have kids, please quit naming them Rourke!

Regards,

Darth_Maul

Personally I feel it has got a bit out of hand now and some people are in fact "flogging a dead horse", but each to their own, if you don't want to see the Rourke names everywhere, you know what to do about it...

Aye, we all know what to do about it.

Bury your head in the sand and/or call all Rourkes by the name of "ScantilyClad". I find that both work very well. Although, admittedly, ScantilyClad only really worked for Rourke, with no first name. I found myself adding "Is" for a middle name when it came to the likes of Brian and co. to make it BrianIsScantilyClad.

BrianRourke (RIP) is dead, so at least he can't bother you anymore.

~T~

Scipita looks at the letter signed by someone called "Darth_Maul"...

What the hell is a Darth_Maul she thinks, how can on critisize her last name when one is called like that.
He should be writing a letter to his own parents instead !

Scipita walks out of the office towards the RHM wing.

Hey Jono, Pip.
Have a look at this! Tell me what is a Darth_Maul?

Oh hey wait, isnt that from that story that we heard about from Chicago?  
I believe rumour has it Don Sidious kidnapped him at a young age an trained him?
Might be the reason why the names are related don't you think?

Scipita walks back to her office, Jono and Pip staring at her...

On her way she passes Beowulf, hey that remark you made earlier.. have a look at this.
Nicely spotted !

Scipita takes a piece of paper and quickly scribbles something on it.

Pot, Kettle, Black.
Sith, Rourke.

King walks over and has a listen while Darth_Maul speaks

Hmm quite entertaining sir, I commend you for your work. I will be keeping a eye on you for the Street Cred Award sir.

DK looks up at Darth_Maul from the seat of his car and listens to what to guy has to say about Rourkes

Darth_Maul, I am sorry to tell you but the Rourkes are no where near started with their mass plan to take over the world. They are roughly about 2.5% done, and I'm sorry to tell you but they will succed aswell. I know it and everyone knows it. So if I was you I would get used to them and be friends with them before they come knocking on your door to take over your home.

DK walks upto Darth_Maul and whispers in his ear "I would either make friends with them or start running now because before you know it. Rourke himself will be at your door wanting your body."

And Maul just to let you know KittenRourke is the most cute and cuddly of all the Rourkes, even cuter than Rourke himself.

Impossible.

~T~

Toni looks at the crowd shouting at Darth_Maul and then goes up to the podium ad shouts "QUIET!!!"

"Personaly I think that eveyone should have a personal last name like Sipriani, nobody has that name but me."

Toi waits for the crowd to start shouting at Darth_Maul again and steps down off the podium and walks away, then he gets mugged.

The gathered group of mobsters hear a meowing and looking down, see the cutest Kitten that could possibly be.

KittenRourke looks at all of them and scampers off before they succumb to the desire all fail to resist...cuddling her.

Telkin walks up to the gathering and simply drops a photo of his father, at the bottom it is labeled SirSammyRourke. Not understanding what anyone could possibly have against any Rourke EVER(except maybe that Rourkey fellow not too far back,) except jealousy, he shakes his head in shame.

 Lip twitching, he goes off to follow KittenRourke... So soft, so comfortable. So... irresistable! 

He laughs at the ridiculous antics of the kitten

I shall not give in to the cuddling urge! I am stronger than you Kitten.

He then turns to Death-Knight

Rourke already came to my door, asking for my body. I sent him to your place, because I was too old.

Rourke sharpens his gun ominously.

I'm taking this as a personal attack and you will be hearing from my attorney shortly. Good day.

Marietta rushes up behind Rourke and quickly nods her head vigorously. She really had nothing to add, only being an honorary Rourke, but she wanted to feel included nonetheless.

I once shared a urinal with a Rourke at a speakeasy in Hobokken. I can niether confirm nor deny any side-effects from this occurance. So I see no Rourke problem at this moment.

looks at deano

I wouldn't be so sure about that good sir!!! Have you checked yourself for crabs?