Do you like fishsticks?

Yeah, I like fishsticks.

What are you? A gay fish?

HAHAHAHA

What do you call a rich man going into a casino and coming out poor?

Striphe!

ok heres one

theres 2 muffins in a oven and one muffin says "damn its hot in here" and the other muffin says "holy shit a talking muffin!"

It's a south park reference if nobody gets it

So, the teach asked the kids in the classroom:

- Kids, what is the heaviest thing on earth?

Little maria, being the smartest girl in the class, quickly answers...

- Oh, thats easy, it's a loaded cargo ship, weighting well over thousands of tons!

The teach congratulates the girl and looks for more answers...

- No, it's not! - Little thomas answered - It's the great wall of china!

Again the teacher congratulated the little student...

- Yall got none on me then! - Little Johnny stood up - The heaviest thing on earth is my daddy's dick!

The teach was shocked.

- What are you saying little Johnny? Why do you say that???

Little johnny is pretty sure of his answer and so he explains...

- Well, the other day i was walking in my house corridor late night and i could hear my mom say over the door to my father:

- HOLY SHIT, YOU AND YOUR SOFT DICK AGAIN, NOT EVEN GOD CAN LIFT IT AND MAKE IT STAND UP!!!

What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

What’s better than Ted Danson?
Ted singing and Danson!

What did the the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business!

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"