The first wire was explicit : There are opportunities here my aggressive little niece, you will find riches beyond comprehension. You will like it here. Come here and work with us, the profits are good and the life is even better.

I knew who'd sent it, there was only one. A dear uncle had traveled that journey as many had, abandoning we thought, leaving our simple but predominantly honest life here. We were disappointed, yet we were glad. We were glad of the riches that reached us, a pittance, he said. But to us it was a lifeline, it meant the difference between milking goats and becoming esteemed members of a community. A community which had begun to take notice of us, our family. We were becoming players, we were running our town. Uncle's money wasn't wasted on more goats and wine, we made it work for us. We were in control....

The second was an offer of condolence : Gone but not forgotten. He was a good man, a loyal man. He spoke highly of you.

A heart wrenching return to reality. Surely this could not be!

I for one don't like goats, they smell and they have horns. I'd rather use my talents elsewhere like I have been doing. Maybe I should go and find this land of opportunity and continue funding Mama & Papa's business ventures. Surely it can't be difficult?

We cannot possibly lose respect here, not now. Not now that we have it, not now that people, peasants equal to us once touch their heads and know their place is below us. No, no, NO!

Arriving on a sunny afternoon, my heart is full of joy and I have hope in my soul. A deeply ingrained faith that many of you may find hard to understand, but a faith no less potent to me.

My faith is tangible, it's something I can hold. I never knew that it could possibly be shaken, never mind destroyed.

Am I evil? I don't think so but I feel it right now.

Disembarking I am relaxed. There are people waiting here for me, friends I imagine....

Not a fucking chance. I wander around the port feeling like a spare whore at a gangbang. I feel like a fucking virgin, I feel lost. I don't know what to do, how this shit works!

I'm not a virgin by the way, Santino saw to that. I loved it, I writhed with passions that many of you wouldn't understand.. you guys don't know shit when it comes to loving..

Santino writhed more than me the second time, and the third. Santino would follow me naked over an Km of broken glass just to kiss my hand. But again, you guys know nothing of love. You wouldn't understand, you wouldn't get it, ever.

So I'm standing alone here now. I still have faith, you bastards will never take that from me. You could tie me down and think you were popping my cherry and you couldn't take that from me, Besides, if you're any good I would fucking enjoy it, you guys are shit lovers so I would have to whimper a bit I guess just to get you off.

I look around expecting some sort of greeting. I heard that there's work here after all. I heard that you guys are screaming for people with brains, with guile.

Know what I see?

Fuck all.

Nobody.

A tap on the shoulder startles me to be honest. I thought I was street-wise.. Fuck me, that surprised me. Maybe there is hope, this gal is stealthy. Oh, and between you and I she has a nice hand. Her fingers are long and delicate, her touch is sensual almost. I like her immediately.

I like your nails bambino. Why the hell did I say that!?

You looking for work? She drawls in a strange tongue

You ain't gonna find none. We iz at war...

I spent a little time questioning her about the war she mentioned. I gaze at her fingers again and eye her a little. I don't think she knows what I'm thinking, maybe that's good right?

Apparently some sort of argument broke out and people started shooting each other.

I stifle a laugh and almost say "Call that a war beautiful", fortunately I don't though. 

Between you and me I don't want to appear disrespectful or show her the side of me which sort of breaks through when I'm feeling stressed. I do feel a little damp though as I watch them long fingers and see the words gently spill from her mouth...

I feel I have to ask. Actually I want to follow her but she isn't asking me to. Not yet at least.

Hmm. So is there any work on these shores? I can see that she is struggling to keep up with my accent and I slow my speech down.. oh slow.. Mmmm, those fingers are praying on my mind..

No. Not really. I think she's beginning to realize that I'm eyeing her with a little more than curiosity. Maybe she will offer me work after all.

I guess you don't understand what I told you?

Hmm, this broad is really getting to me. I love her slow drawl, it's erm, nice. Very nice...

I find myself gazing into her eyes and asking a silly question. Damn, why am I so fucking weak when it comes to certain things?

I've followed my uncle here, he told me that this is the land of opportunity, that I could use my talents here? I nearly winked at her. OMG, I feel like kissing her, those lips..

Sorry young lady, that drawl. There's nothing here any more. Nobody is looking any more They live in fear of strangers, they only want their own people. This isn't the land of opportunity, you should go home.

I like her eyes too and I don't want to go home, at least not to mine..

She reminded me of Adrienne. The slim creature who taught me that love is not merely a sexual experience, yet she actually showed me that it could be all consuming regardless of gender. I had loved her then, Hell, I still loved her. I think I always will.

A fleeting thought of my true love disarmed me. Dammit, I'm well capable of looking after myself. Sure I have the looks, the olive skin and startling blue eyes which sparkle at times. Oh, if only you knew them times.

Adrienne did, she always will. She would have. She would have if she'd lived but she had crossed me. Oh I loved her, I still do.Did I tell you that?

Your arms by your side, no movement.

Really? Who the fuck!

I feel a hardness against me and it's cold. Not only is it cold but it's digging in to me, I hate it. I hate it a lot as I am fucking positive that I know what it is!!

NO! I exclaim. Fuck you, I won't do anything I don't want to do. Yet I know that I will.

I have the felt that press of cold steel before and the person behind it had died. My love, my lover Adrienne.. I still love her. The tenderness, her touch upon my skin, her sweet breath that I will never forget, ever. Yet I know that this is not Adrienne, Adrienne no longer exists outside my memories.

I could spend hours talking about her and I know you would listen but today it isn't Adrienne's story, I will speak of her again, I will speak of her betrayal maybe even though I never want to focus on that. One day I will speak of her love, her touch. Oh how I miss that touch..

The barrel of the gun and the deep masculine tones repeat themselves upon my senses and I cringe a little.

He felt it, the bastard felt my fucking weakness. I hate it, I hate myself a little but yet I don't. I'm going to kill him one day. Maybe not today, no, not today. Fuck, today I need anyone I can find. I'm not sure if he feels the same and the woman with them eyes, them fingers.. oh.. oh.. them fingers has stepped back and let him force me with his cold steel. I wonder if she complies, whether she likes to play the role of a subservient.. I do.. but not now, no way!

Yes sir. I find myself being a meek, weary, compliant idiot as I play statues as requested. I hate myself, did I mention that?

Why didn't she force me? Maybe she knows that I can never resist the forcefulness that only a man can muster...

Yes sir.

Fuck, I said it twice!

I think she giggled then. I sorta liked that, I'm a sucker for giggling girls to tell you the truth. I'm struggling though as there is a gun placed forcefully against my head and I really... No, I fucking hate this shit.

Where is this land of opportunity uncle spoke of?

Feeling the crunch of gravel under my feet I rather hoped that our route wasn't directing us anywhere I didn't want to be going.

I didn't ask for this, I only came here to help my family as my uncle had. Please spare me a thought.

Yet I thought of her, not Adrienne, her.. her eyes, her long smooth fingers.. I'll never forget her. Adrienne that is.

Please sir, I'll do anything you want, anything which pleases you. I merely want to work, I yearn for that opportunity, the chance to show you my talents.

The hard, cold touch remained insistent.

I think I'm in trouble, I need to be resourceful. Maybe Americans are red blooded?

Maybe  I can allure him? I have talents, perhaps many of them are hidden, perhaps not.

I cried then. Not the shallow tears which fall slowly down your cheeks but the deep passionate sobs which render most men helpless.. but would she see through it? I hoped not.

Oh, them eyes, those fingers...

She could love me as he will already be tempted to.