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| Right Job, Wrong Guy. | Started by: --Dillinger-- on Jul 31, '09 03:34 |
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John sits on the plane as it flies toward Detroit, he nervously flicks a piece of paper that rests between his fingers only stopping to periodically wipe the sweat from his brow. Ya know, I don't even know why he bothers asking me to do this shit, I'm no cold blooded killer.. I sit around the HQ sipping on booze in my freakin bar. He sinks into his first class seat and grabs the glass of cognac that rests on the tray before him, mouthing the words his boss spoke. "I know I know John, you don't run around capping anyone that says your name funny... But I have no choice, the regular guys are in Los Angeles taking care of some sawed off cocky coke dealer who jammed an icepick into Guido's nape." No freakin choice he said, NO CHOICE! I've got to do it, I just know it's gonna get me in the famiglia.. This is my chance and I'm gonna have to take it. He turns the glass up to his face consuming the vile concoction before he slams the highball down on the tray as a mother and child stare at him in amazement. John slowly unfolds the parchment in his hands reading it's words very slowly as if to wake himself up from a nightmare. John, I realize this must come as a suprise to you, and I understand you may be weary as fast as Skinny Joey was rushing out of the house thrusting a package into your hands... But we have no timeI'm already here in Detroit for the godmothers party. And I have a job for you to do, aside from getting pissed out of your mind in MY HQ, there's words about a fella goes by the name of Tommy "The Angel" Messorelli tellin people he's been hired for a big job, but my good friend Detective Karl Kohler felt me knowing about this and his telling me may get him a bigger piece of the pie, and my I can't have my bodyguards running around looking for this guy, and making me look paranoid. But I need you, and the family needs you. All the info is in the package, do your job well and you might come home to a party. Signed King Tie. King Tie, what the hell kind of circus freak Mob Boss calls himself King, John thinks to himself.. I know John I know, he really is a stand up guy how could you even say such a thing, he's saved your ass more times than you can count on your appendages. Thats at least twenty... John reaches his hand out stopping the passing stewerd as she passes by. Hey, Hey! I been sittin here for at least ten minutes and you ain't even stopped by to offer me another glass of cognac. Oh excuse me sir would you like another? She asks. No No never mind that just get me a pillow. As John places the pillow behind his head he thinks to himself, why do the call him "The Angel" anways as he drifts off to sleep. "Part two soon" |
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hey not bad plot sounds interesting however your usage of regular font, italics and bold gets confusing near the end might want to signpost what they represent at the start of your story ? just to make it easier for readers :) Miss Devinn Laine |
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| Reply by: Miss_Devinn_Laine at Jul 31, '09 03:40 | |
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Flight 679 now landing in Detroit Metropolitan Airport, welcome to the motor city enjoy your visit, the loud intercom blasts down the plane hitting John like a bag of revolvers. John snaps up from his seat in a cold sweat. I'm here, goddammit I'm here.... John grabs his luggage and heads out to the lobby to take a seat at the airport bar. Packed light, knew I wasn't staying long. John digs through the bag until he gets to the neat box containing an address book with specific instructions for his job. First thing I gotta do is grab a piece.... He flips open the book and finds the name Morose Morino...The name alone sends a chill down John's spine, he'd heard of this guy... real cold customer.. he's cap his own mother if it made him a dime. John hops into the limo outside and the driver drags him over to Vinnie Decaf's Coffee and Doughnuts. John approaches and opens the door. The smell of cheap cigars and cheaper women fills John's Nose, these guys were classics every last one of em looks like a reject from a Humphrey Bogart film. As John scopes the room he see's Mr. Morose waving for him to come over. John takes the seat across from him as Morose speaks.. Hey Johnny, heard you were supposed to be here.. Didn't think you had it in ya, And The Angel of all people... man you got your work cut out for ya, you know why they call him the angel right Johnny? They say the guy's got a sixth sense, he can smell trouble miles away... almost like a gift from god.... Well there's that and the whole pillow thing... Pillow thing? Asks John. Yeah man you know, the whole stuff a pillow over your face while you're sleepin as he pops a few into ya? Really is a nice thing of the guy, gettin ya while ya sleep and all. Jesus Christ you got the fuckin goods or what Morose, I'm not here to dick around, and this fuckin place is givin me a headache. John replies. Yeah yeah, don't be such a baby you're lucky I like King Tie so much, or I'd be liable to tell Mr. Angel about what you plan to do. What plan... John says. Part Three soon. |
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| Reply by: --Dillinger-- at Jul 31, '09 04:01 | |
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Sure I can do that.... The normal font is basically a verbal Dialogue between John and another, or John talking to himself. The Italics are used to describe the surroundings and the internal dialogue. The bold was used as the letter recieved. |
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| Reply by: --Dillinger-- at Jul 31, '09 04:04 | |
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