Rourke builds a podium out of EdwardRossi, steps to it, and speaks:

Ladies and gentlemen, I come to you with tidings of great joy. I don't believe I am eligible to win any of the "Detroit Is Obscenely Crazy Week" and I'm blatantly ignoring the rules that state I must mail them and name drop crews, cities, myself, etc etc. I would like to bring to you a few gifts that I penned for my fair Godmother:

Rourke pulls out a lute and plays merrily:

Marietta's Fruit Stand

There once was a woman named Mari
Who violently stepped on a berry
She aligned her two thumbs
And crushed some ripe plums
And said "Rourke, why don't you pop my cherry?"

Rourke pauses a few hours for applause. After it finally dies down three hours and twelve minutes later, he continues:

Ms. Rossi's Inner Sanctum

There once was a leader, Ms. Rossi
Who in her quarters was loud and bossy
Rourke slid her a fiver
Mari pointed inside her
But said "Eh, just go blow one across me"

The gathered audience laughed heartily and Rourke calmed the crowd with a wave of his hands:

Sweater Meat

There once was a gal from Detroit<
Who with writing was very adroit
Her name's Marietta
And I'm fond of her sweata'
But it's what inside that I'll exploit

Rourke hears a few groans from the crowd, and a pout forms on his face:

Sweater Meat Version 2

Ms. Rossi, Detroit's own Godmother
Parallel? There's surely no other
Her motives are just
But so is her bust
Which she uses on my face to smother

Rourke apparently has one.....make that TWO things on the brain:

Don't worry folks, only one more to go!

Marietta Likes Fine Jewelry

Marietta was one of the girls
Whose hair was always in curls
Rourke fell fast in love
He moved to stand above
And he gave her a necklace of pearls

Rourke finished all of his Marietta limericks and held up his hands to speak one more time:

Friends, I present only one more to you, one penned specifically for my friend Noah-Levenstein.

A Shout Out to Noah-Levenstein

Noah-Levenstein was born in Peru
One night he was trying to screw
His wife said "Oy vey!
If you keep up this way,
The Messiah will come before you!"

Rourke catches a rose in his teeth as he leaves the Edward podium.

Those are some of the odiest odes I've seen in a very long time.

Nice work, Rourke.

Fershnicket! I applaud your creativity Rourke, it brings warmness to my heart and my loins to hear you cry as though a Troubadour. I particularly enjoyed the reference in the Shout out to the Messiah (whom we didn't kill).

James walks up to Rourke and shakes his hand, trying to breathe through hystarical laughter

"That... was... amazing!"

Breathing hard James sits on the ground and tries to resume regular breathing.

Walking down the Mongral Street in Detroit, Jose hears a beautiful voice, telling beautiful rhymes to all that would stop to listen. Jose stops to listen intently

Rourke, you have the gift of a silver tongue! I have never heard lyrics so heart felt and awe inspiring. I wish to one day be as talented as you. My hands hurt from clapping that entire 3 hours and twelve minutes.

That'a'boy! :D

Keep up the good work.