As you walk down the street a local shop owner happens to have a television on display for advertising purposes. It's playing a documentary and as you continue watching you notice the title is The CatBug Chronicles. If you were interested, you kept watching. If not, you didn't (exit street speech here). The black and white program with a record player next to it continues running and shows you the following.

"'Ello loves. Memento_Mori here and today we'll be tracking the notorious little CatBug. It's a fat little bugger frequently scene eating herbal mushrooms and talking about spaceships and tacos. It's marvelous that we've finally come across another form of truly sentient life, the problem is we can't seem to find a way to shut it up. Right then, here's me plan. I've got me trusty hunting knife, and we'll follow it around the HQ for a bit. Others have been talking about how they've tried hitting it with bug spray and a shoe, but nothing has come of it, so we need the knife for self protection/suicide purposes if it corners us with a conversation we can't get out of."

The camera pans out as Memento can be seen slowly creeping into a common discussion in The Siren's Call HQ.

"You're so salty."

"You're all a bunch of haters."

"You're just jealous of how pretty I am."

Memento_Mori turns to the camera,

"This is right about the level the CatBug likes to be at, I'm sure we can find the little bugger scurrying around here somewheres."

As Memento_Mori slowly approaches the group he signals the cameraman to begin coming in closer. As Ramza comes into the shot one can see he immediately throws his hands over his face and begins yelling on about selfies only. As the group begins to settle down and become used to the camera man, they go back into their conversation. Eventually, after 30 minutes of banter a line causes Memento_Mori to break out from background and approach the group. CatBug can then be heard saying,

[03:26:30] <CatBug> Stop being jelly guys ill teach you my awesome ways if you just ask

Memento_Mori quickly turns to the camera and begins speaking,

"This is the perfect opportunity for us to learn a little about how the little bugger's brain truly works. We'll volunteer but keep the knife ready to sever the ears if you can't take it any more."

Memento then grabs the CatBug's attention and says,

"Teach me, please. I'd love a chance to follow in ya foot steps."

[03:31:59] <CatBug> ILL BE YOUR TEACHER YOUNG GRASSHOPPER!

There's an immediate negative reaction from the rest of the group. Fearing for his life he quickly gets the CatBug to speak to cause the surrounding crowd to take their attention off of him by asking,

"What's the first lesson?"

[03:32:45] <CatBug> First rule dont assouciate yourself with noobs like Ramza

Before Memento could finish jotting down this first line another from the group butts in and says,

[03:32:45] <Pennywise> Never drop the soap

[03:33:34] <CatBug> Thats rule 5 Pennywise!

"Right, so there's at least 5 rules. What's next!"

[03:36:56] <CatBug> Sorry i refuse to discuss other rules infront of Ramza

[03:37:08] <CatBug> He might try to copy cat them

Ramza was holding a 1930 'deluxe' camera only inches away from his face, snapping a shot every few seconds. He changes to the other side of his face and takes another picture, holding his fingers up to his chin in the process. Once he took a seat, the questions started to fire in, but another selfie from his camera was needed before he could answer them.

"Are you aware that there's a CatBug infestation in the HQ?" Momento_Mori said, raising an eyebrow at Ramza taking pictures of himself.

"Am I aware? Ha. I don't know how that rodent weaseled his way into the headquarters. I wake up one day, walk to the fridge for my morning coffee, and there he was! He scurried across the floor like he owed the place and helped himself to the fridge before I could. Went to take a shower, there he was again, using it before I could. Used up all the hot water in the first day. I've asked Duplicity to bug bomb the place, but she has taken a liking to the infestation. She doesn't know that I've set up little traps so hopefully I can catch the fucker one day, sell him on the black market for a new hat."

Ramza pauses and looks over to Momento.

"Don't tell her I said that........."

A moment passes and Momento_Mori nods his head some, continuing on with the next question.

"So what's your relation to the CatBug? He mentioned you twice in his 5 rules for success, any ideas why?" He asked Ramza. After another quick selfie from the bulky camera, he pouted and answered.

"He is jealous, basically. Only a CatBug would make some rules like that! Hell, at one point we had a rule number three, and he took it away. He's an indian giver. IS THERE EVEN A RULE FOUR!?! He is just mad that I'm prettier than him and nobody likes the CatBug running around in the headquarters, so he tries to compete with me. He says he's the commander, but the commander of what!?! TACOS!?!? This is what happens when you let a rodent hang around, they think they can start making the rules. "

Another brief pause after Ramza answers the question, followed by another selfie. Finally, Momento_Mori asked, "When was the first time you heard the little bugger speak? And did it cause you as much discomfort then as it does now? We'd like to know if the pain fades or increases with increased exposure."

"When? THE FIRST DAMN DAY IS WHEN! Trust me, he isn't a shy bastard by far. Always running around and making his ':3' face. It's a stupid face! He's always caused me discomfort, what kind of bug wouldn't? It's like keeping a pet spider, makes absolutely no sense at all. When do we start homing the infested? Well, obviously we do, but that's beside the point!" Another brief pause as Ramza considers the next question, then snaps off a selfie of himself before continuing, "The pain increase, without a doubt. Everyday. Every hour. Every damn moment he opens that CatBug mouth... Sometimes when I got to bed, I can feel the pain. And when I wake back up, it's even worse. It's like it's hurting my medical condition just having a CatBug around the headquarters. I want to advise everyone else, for their own health at least, not to make the same mistake we did by letting the headquarters get infested with this filth. Always keep a can of 'Bug be Gone' around if that's what makes you sleep better at night."

Mori raises an eyebrow, looks back down at his sheet of questions, then moves onto the next topic. "Are you high right now?"

"No." Ramza answers almost instantly, raising eyebrows back at Memento_Mori. There's a stare off between the two for several minutes before Memento_Mori speaks back up towards Ramza.

"Seriously, are you high right now?" He quips back at the self proclaimed 'Sultan of Selfies'. Another freeze from Ramza and he judges the interviewer, turning his head slightly to the side.

"..............Yes."

There was almost a shared laugh between the pair, but Ramza stands up, shooting another selfie of himself before looking back to Memento_Mori.

"Thanks for your time Ramza, it was truly... something." Memento said, giving a nod and extended hand for a shake. Ramza shakes the man's hand and gives him a freshly printed off picture that was signed by himself.

"No, no, no. Thank you for helping me spread the hatred that is known as CatBug. We must all rejoice to keep our homes free from this filth. He might have his stupid rules, but mine are easier. CatBug is an insect. Take that for what it's worth."

Ramza turns around and walks away, leaving Memento seating by himself in front of the camera. He shakes his head some and gives a shrug to the others before motioning that they begin to pack their things up to leave.

:3

The little raccoon knew of the insect known as CatBug. Raccoon had intimate dealings with him prior, and often received vile and harsh mails from CatBug.

The little raccoon used Brooklynn to get her to show some of the mails CatBug had sent him, he couldn't show them without the help of the human, Brooklynn.

They had posted the mail up on the board to show everyone how evil the insect was.

To: Raccoon
From: CatBug
Sent: Jul 25, '15 03:58
Subject:

noob

"That is one of many. I will be showing even more"

To: Raccoon
From: CatBug
Sent: Jul 20, '15 00:20
Subject:

Raccoon
When does your ugly go away?
Oh nevermind...
Ayyyyy

He frowned. CatBug wasn't very nice in his constant mails.

To: Raccoon
From: CatBug
Sent: Jul 19, '15 16:57
Subject:

I hope Jaguar eats you soon.

Visas shuddered at the thought of that pest CatBug she had enjoyed her time in the sirens call HQ intill that vile pest had crawled under the door and made itself at home.

Where did it come from? How do you get rid of it? These where questions she had asked herself many times it wasnt intill a late night coke and whiskey binge with Ramza that a plan had been formulated to bug bomb the HQ while Duplicity was out shoe shopping. 

Somehow Duplicity had found out and as a result it was her or Ramza that was to leave the HQ so that damned Catbug could stay safe a game of rock paper scissors was played and Ramza cursed his bad luck as Visas packed her bags and moved to her new HQ Hayley and Technical close behind.

Visas had set up an audit that any Catbugs seen within 10 feet of her HQ where to be exterminated on site