and now a word from our sponser...

Hi, my name is Dr. Petra Ph.D. M.D. M.B.A. B.A.B.S. CNA. MCSE., and I welcome you to my beautiful rehab facility located in the lovely city of Los Angeles. I welcome you to grab a seat in the group and when your turn comes to please tell us about yourself. What type of drug(s) are you addicted too? We here at the Petra Drug Rehabilitation Clinic firmly believe through guidance, group therapy, electroshock therapy, isolation, and one on one sessions will keep you free and clean from the grips of addiction. (golfclaps heard) So, if you, a loved family member, or a friend is in need of help, please gently coax them to come here or assist them by means of persuassion or force to attend our group sessions.  Thank you! Welcome!

Clinic Prices:

group session - free!

one on one session - $500 per mobmail

electroshock therapy - $1000

in-patient room accomedations - $150  per day(includes clinic food, lodging, on-call nurse)

(addition) personal nurse - $400 per/day (provides personal serving of food, personalized medical care)

Employment:

Those who wished to be professional group, personal, or on-call therapists or nurses to private message Petra for employment. Please include a short description of yourself and your credentials of where you graduated from medically.

As you walk up the carefully manicured lawns and up the stairway entrance, a twitching thug walks past you averting his eyes and keeping his head down. You head past the sliding glass doors into the lobby. A cheerful secretary greets you, " How can I help  you Sir/Madam?"

"Are you here for a group session?" Please enter the doors below, have a seat, and wait for your turn to introduce yourself.

"Are you here to schedule an appointment?" - If so message Petra

"Here for electroshock therapy?" - Please go down the hall to your left and have a seat in the waiting room.

I'd like to recommend WilliamDeSantis for all your treatments - will you take him please? He may have to be forced at gunpoint.

Marley walks by, as the rain pours outside, and stops at the window.

With his hands covered in a cup shape around his eyes blocking the light from the inside as he tries to take a peep in.

Marley feels the strain of his addiction as it weighs heavily on his self-consious.

Marley opens the door, as Doc Petra walks toward him welcoming him to his establishment, and Marley takes a step in.

Looking at Petra

Got a lite?

Marley reaches in his pocket

Ow never mind, I have one!

lites his joint and takes a deep pull

Thanks for letting me use your sheltered area. It's hell trying to lite a joint in the rain.

Marley turns and leaves back out, wondering what kind of people would attend such a session

great thread :)

Walking down the streets of LA I-hate-mafia came across the scribbling on the door of a pretty looking building.....

"Dr. Petra Ph.D. M.D. M.B.A. B.A.B.S. CNA. MCSE"

"Wonder how old the lady is to be having this number of degrees" was the thought that sprang up in his mind.

The secretary responds politely, " Good afternoon Miss Chiara. Our full time medical security staff will be gladly able to detain him upon arrival to our clinic, however we cannot go out ourselves to restrain him here unless you have a license from the city stating he is criminally insane or harming others. You can however, try to sedate him and bring him here, and we can gladly treat him."

The secretary hands Chiara a clipboard with in-patient documents, " Please sign here....and here.....initial here.....sign here............"

Okay thank you! We look forward to seeing Mr. DeSantis

Ph.D. M.D. M.B.A. B.A.B.S. CNA. MCSE

LMAO..  MCSE? hahahah... Sorry, my requirements require you to also be a CPA.. I shall take my addiction elsewhere.

Petra just finished removing her latex gloves after electroshocking a gangster for opium addicition. She walked out into the clinic hallway and noticed Marley walk in abruptly from the pouring rain into the lobby. As she recognizes his prestigious presense she quickly walks towards him to welcome him.

He abruptly interrupts here with, " Got a lite?, Ow nevermind I got one." He lites up, inhaling deeply releasing a thick plume of smoke into the clinic lobby. The blast of weed smoke blew up against Petra's face caressing her senses.

Marley then walks out as quickly as he came.

 Dr. Petra walks quickly outside, rain pouring against her bright white lab coat. She sees Marley's bodyguards quickly put an umbrella over him and escort him to his limosine.

" Wait no! Come back!" 

<em> Leone walks in, with a pale face and red eyes, he takes a seat </em>

"Help me I'm strongely addicted to calpol!"

<em> Leone shivers and takes a swig off calpol </em>

Dr. Petra stares at Leone..but sir..Calpol is for..kids....

"I've been addicted to it for years..."

Dr. Petra pulls out some ink plot cards and some sock puppets. "See this sock puppet Mr. Leone? " Petra continues in a high pitched squeal voice, " I'm your childhood friend Mr. Quackles! Remember me? I'm from your child..hoooood! I've come to be your friend and remind you that Calpol as tasty as it is..IS BAD..mmmkay?"

Dr. Petra sees Googlez leave indignantly and sighs to herself, " GAWD, why hasn't my restraining order come through yet."

CNA?  I knew Novell was old; but I didn't know it originated in the adding machines of the 20s and 30s...and I thought I was old!

Uh...how much is the nurse and room for a couple hours? I got cash.

Esham waltzes out of the clinic, drapes an arm around Petra, and states loudly.

My name is Esham and I USED to be an addict. :D

He slips Petra a wad of 100s and strolls away.

Dr. Petra puts her arms around Esham and grins to the flashing news cameras, " Yes, Esham has completed our electroshock therapy sessions!" He is A NEW MAN. She holds the wad of 100s and wonders when will mobsters pay using debit...

Esham put on his shades and smiles for the photos.

Yes, its true, I'm a whole new man. I never thought shock-therapy would work, but after the first few weeks and turning up the voltage a bit, I've left my habits.

Esham strolls away and twitches a bit as he walks.

*scratches his head and wonders what debit is*

*scratches somewhere else while wondering if the nurse had any OOCitus injections handy

*hops in his 32 Cord and smiles as the engine roars to life, slipping it none too gently into gear he lurches off down the road*

Marley runs in, out of breath, and gasping for air.

Takes a set and begans paying attention as if he's been their the whole time.

Sirens get louder in the distance and police cars go zooming by.

A couple of officers, on foot, come running past the window and stops at the door, yelling "I think in went in here". The officer sticks his head in the door and looks around.

Turning back to his partner saying, "Ow it's just some addicts having a discussion. Check the alley, I think he might have went that way!"

Marley waits a few more seconds, heads back toward the door and peeps out, lites a joint, and heads back out strolling down the street as if nothing just happened.