Noah had prepared earlier on in the day, underpants first, then vest. And socks, socks had to go on before the trousers. After that he did it in any order though, trousers, shirt...whatever. Either way, the finished product was a svelte and sophisticated look, and remembering to tuck his pendant of Jew Gold beneath his vest, Noah took off to the streets for his big speech.

Ladies, Gentleman, those of an indeterminate sex... I have for you today an extremely exciting announcement. Some of you may remember the MAP and I'm sure you are already rejoicing, some of you however may be a little young to recall what things were like in Poker's heyday!

Therefore, it gives me great pleasure to announce that, with the total backing of my esteemed leader Don Deimne and the Flying Monkeys, poker is about to be put back up on it's pedestal with the return of the Mafia Association of Poker. Don't know what that is? Listen on friends and you shan't be disappointed.

The Mafia Association of Poker, despite it's grandiose name, is an extremely simple concept where everyone can be a winner! Please take a look at these massively anachronistic leaflets I made earlier to find out a little more.

Noah hands out said leaflets.

What is The MAP?

The MAP is a seedings scheme that gives players who win a MAP adjudicated game 2 points, the runner up 1 point, and the first out -1 point.

How much does it cost to make a regular poker game MAP adjudicated?

50k per player to be paid to an MAP representative. This is nothing to do with your buy in fee and prize money, which should be decided upon amongst the actual players taking part.

So me and my buddies pay 50k each to make a game MAP adjudicated...But so what? What's in for us?

Other than the pride of being officially recognised as the best poker player on our shores? Occasionally, the MAP will be hosting games. The most prestigious of these will be 'The High Rollers' - a 10 man game with a buy in of $150,000, but in addition to the buy in, you must be seeded by the MAP as having 10 points. Don't think you're quite good enough to get 10 points? No worries at all, there's also 'The Executive - 10 man game carrying a $100,000 buy in, to get in on these you need only 5 points.

I still don't get it, I could organise my own 10 man game for 100 or 150k, and I wouldn't have to pay you 50k each time I wanted a game to be adjudicated!

True, but the MAP is the only place that will double the pot for you. That's right. 10 people playing in a MAP sponsored 'High Roller'? That's 3 million. Only playing in the 'Executive'? That's still a return of $2,000,000 from an investment of $100,000 for one lucky mobster's budding casino fund!

Noah decides you've had long enough to read the leaflet now, and if you haven't finished you should probably get tested for lysdexia or some shit. With that in mind, he pipes up again.

Interested? You should be. And if you are, you'll be even more interested when I tell you that  this Sunday night, 5pm EST, there will be the inaugural game of the new MAP, at which the standard adjudication rate is waived and you are offered the chance to earn double points! Careful though, come in last and you'll be 2 points behind before the ball's even rolling!

If you are serious about taking part in this game, please let me know via a clearly marked mob mail as soon as possible, we can only fit so many chairs around a poker table and placed will be allocated on a first come first serve basis; but before you do enrol, please be sure to check out the ifs and buts! If you have any questions or issues about this initiative, please don't hesitate to drop me a mail or swing by office so we can have a chat.

Noah goes home to play with his dreidel.

It is an honour to be a part of the team to bring the "MAP" back to our streets. We can't wait to start cranking out the competitions, so start earning those ranking points!

In advance of the games, a good luck wish to one and all who choose to participate.

Ahhhh MAP.

I remember it now. What an idea and what a concept. I will certainly be following MAP with great interest.

I would love to join MAP, as i am a Bit of a tin arse.

Looking forward to seeing MAP in action, good luck to everyone who participates.

Looks cool - will have a think over whether i want to join!

An amazing investment I call this, I will talk to you Sir for more information and joining.

For those of you who are a little unsure of this concept, this is exactly we are throwing an iniital game that carries no ajudcation fee, if you're interested in the slightest; get your place while there's still some available!

I would also beg you good Mobsters to remember there is no joining per se, there is no retainer fee, you simply pay your 50k along with the other players any time you want a game to be MAP ajudicated!

Since a few people seem a little unsure about this, I thought it would be prudent to make a clarification.

When I say the standard MAP Adjudication rate is waived, this is in reference to the otherwise normal cost of 50k which the MAP takes is being waived. This does not mean you don't have to buy in.

The MAP themselves have no say over the buy in and prize pot of this intial tourney or of any other standard ranked tourney, the only games where the buy in and prize pot are dictated by us are the aforementioned MAP sponsored executive and high roller matches.

However, side betting and players organising a buy in in addition to a game being ranked is allowed and of course encouraged!