[TOMMYWISEAU enters The Room]

[TOMMY sits down in a director's chair on the set of a motion picture studio surrounded by various sets and camera equipment]

TOMMYWISEAU: "Oh hi.

With the advent and advances in what they call 'motion pictures', I would like to announce that my new production company WISEAU FILMS is now casting for my project... the first ever mafia movie.

The main plot of the movie centers around a mafia deal gone wrong... it is a story about crime... betrayal... a film that will give the public a glance into the day in the life of a gangster.

This is an open casting call and all are welcome to audition.... I am presently looking to fill the role of a yet to be named character. The character is a gangster looking to make a quick score with help of the main character named 'JOHNNY'... played by me. This character is meant to be a 'take-no-bull' kind of hardened mobster who does whatever it takes to get the job done no matter what the consequences. Only actors willing to embrace the true essence of the film will be considered.

The actor who is selected to fill the role will be paid a lump sum of $2,500,000. The first round of auditions will be held here... please act out a brief original scene that you think will accurately portray the character. If you make it through the preliminary audition... you will be fitted for wardrobe and you will rehearse a scene from the movie with me. Whoever fits the role best will be selected and paid.

There is no time restraint on this casting call... I would rather delay production than cast somebody who is not perfect for the role.

Best of luck to all aspiring actors who have the courage and ambition to audition.... follow your dreams"

It was early morning, Dope had just woken up from a good sleep. There was a note on the table, Dope picked it up and read it. 

Dear Dope,

It's Chong, I want you to go downtown today and head to the studio. There are auditions today for aspiring actors, if you wanna be famous then I suggest you try out. You will need a monologue created by you as there is no real script yet. You will be an assistant, your partner in crime will be Johnny. Try your best and don't let me down.

Good Luck

Chong.

Dope had never dreamed of being in a movie but he was happy to think that Chong invisioned him as an actor.

Dope arrived at the studio where he delivered his 1 piece monologue.

"You ready Johnny? We only have one chance at this".

"Let's go over it again, there's two doors , front and back". 

"I go through the front, firing off the first round at the lock."

"Once inside I will shoot anyone reaching for a piece".

"At this point you will be at the back door, my fire will disguise your fire so you will get in unseen".

"We go after the leader first then drop every other body in the house".

"There is bound to be money in his safe, we have under two minutes, take the money and some lives then we split", 

"They should have known better than to mess with your brother, Our brother."

Dubliner was excited to hear of a new movie studio that had just appeared. And, to be making a film on his own "job" nonetheless. He assumed he'd be perfect for the role being a mobster himself topped off with Acting experience in a past life. He knew how to write a script, how to effectively direct, edit, produce, he was perfect for the job!

He quickly jumped into his Candy Apple Red '37 Lincoln Zephyr and sped over to the movie studio. He pulled up to the front gates and was met by a man in a gray button up with a small badge over his heart. He had beady eyes and sweat poured from his pores. He stepped out from his small booth and walked towards Dubliner as he sat in his car. After a quick inspection, the perspirating "policeman" waved Dub through the gates and onto the busy studio grounds. 

Dub parked his car and began making his way to where the auditions were being held. Runners were scrambling all over the studio, aspiring actors and actresses acted out their desired roles with each other, and bells were ringing just about every 5 seconds signaling a set change, announcing filming-in-process, or alerting nearby actors/actresses that now was their moment to shine. Dubliner continued walking passing poster after poster of different movie titles that, he assumed, were upcoming movies that the studio plan on working on.

As he stepped past each poster, mesmerized by each passing one, he nearly got hit by a lift that was transporting props from one studio to the other. The lift screeched to a halt and the weight of the props sent the lift tumbling over towards Dubliner. Dub jumped nimbly out of the way of the falling props and to safety. The driver quickly climbed out of the lift and began cursing at Dubliner.

"Hey! You dumb kid! Watch where you're steppin' or else I won't be so quick to slam on the breaks! You just caused more damage than you could ever think of reimbursing the studio for!"

Dubliner stood to his feet and turned towards the red-face construction worker... He mustache moved with each large syllable that exploded from the man's mouth as he yelled at Dubliner who stood awkwardly and confused. After taking quite the verbal beatdown, Dubliner snapped into character... He took several large strides towards the heavy-set, red-faced pig and grabbed him by his collar.

Now you listen to me, you red-faced pig, before I stick you and make you squeal as you watch your guts spill from your belly. My time is worth more than your 'precious' props and you need to learn that. Obviously you don't know who I am! I don't take bull**** from anyone, let alone a cock-eyed half-wit! 

Dubliner gave the man a stiff backhand as the hustle and bustle of the studio stopped and took notice of the altercation occurring in the shadow of Studio B. Blood spilled from the man's nose as Dubliner threw punch after punch to the man's face. Dubliner suddenly stopped and stepped away from the man realizing that he had snapped. He straightened his clothes out and took a deep breath. 

You made me late for a meeting with your boss... And seeing as our great nation is in a bit of a financial rut, I don't think you can afford to lose this job... 

Dubliner flipped the motionless man over onto his belly...

Learn your place in the dirt...

Dubliner stepped on the man as he made his way to Studio C to audition... He opened the door and a dark room with spotlights on a set designed as the interior of a bank. Dubliner looked over to his right and saw a stack of scripts on a nearby table. He walked over and picked one up and began to read it...

INT. BANK -- MIDDAY

                    Our characters are faced with a tough choice. With one of they group members wounded and quickly

                    bleeding out on the floor of the bank, do they continue with the robbery as planned? Or will they

                    leave the bank empty-handed in order to save their group member?

Dubliner quickly studied the setting and situation in which his character was in. He walked up onto the stage and into the middle of the spotlight and softly cleared his throat as Mr. Wiseau watched his every move...

Johnny, we don't have time for this! The feds already have info on where our safehouse is, we got a man bleeding on the ground who knows how much longer he has! If we get the money, we got no where to go but to the clink! Saving Giuseppe is the only option. 

Dubliner paused for a moment... He wasn't exactly used to acting out a dramatic scene by himself...

"--uh... Load Giuseppe up in the car! I can hear the sirens getting closer, I will be out after I collect all the wallets, purses, and watches from everyone here."

Dubliner looked to the doors of the bank as if he were watching Johnny take Giuseppe out to the car. After Dub figured there was enough time that passed for them to leave, he moved quickly over to the fake safe and pulled out the bag of money. He then busted through the back door to leave Giuseppe and Johnny to take the fall with the feds letting Dubliner off clean with no trace to find him.

Dubliner came out from behind the bank set and bowed to Mr. Wiseau. Before leaving, Dubliner handed Mr. Wiseau his telephone number.

If you liked what you saw, feel free to contact me anytime...

Dubliner smiled at Mr. Wiseau as he brushed past him.