A fat stubby but lovable man steps up to the podium holding a pen and a handkerchief. Looking oddly into the crowd with an expression as if he forgot what to say he let out a statement.

"Well shit, what was I going to say?"

See I told you he had that expression on his face, how did I know this? Because I'm the narrative, I make this shit up man!

"Oh I remember I think! Yes I do! Now I must share it with all, share my glorious bounty as Countryboy shared his feelings for iris in the pasture behind cavemans barnyard amongst the cattle."

At this point the crowd looks baffled. What is this man on? Does he not know he makes no sense or lacks aany logical train of thought? Why is he so fluffy yet so damn cute?

"I address you this fine hour to bring up a matter which im sure has been addressed a time or two over the years. Where's all the damn fun? Now I don't mean life in General. I simply mean here in the open streets. I do notice a some doo doo activity, but I also notice that every morning after my coffee during my visit to the John. Doesn't smell quite as pretty now or is as entertaining but it has substance none the less, even if that substance is corny. Oh see what I did there? What I'm getting at is rather simple. For those who feel that there is nothing worth giving a speech about amongst the crowded cities I encourage you to step forward and give it your best shot. If I can bring my sexy self up here and simply take an hour out of my uneventful day then so can you. Be yourself, or be like dick and stand tall in the moment of performance as I have here. For every individual who doesn't find you to be appealing, there are three who will. Whether they let it be known, or they remain silent like parents too teenage kids who try to get it on without the kids taking notice, it's still appreciated. Have things changed since the demise of my great grand pappy dick, who sadly shriveled from existence, or has the lack of creativity or willingness to speak non sense just infected us all?"

Try heading to the local coffee shop! Then if you make the right connections, you'll get invited into the back rooms where the real fun begins. Maybe if you work hard and do the right things, you'll get invited to the super secret rooms that are unassociated with the coffee shops.