How may I tell you this? I grew with no mother; a father who I had to respect or I would get beaten'; A loving nonna who took care of me most of the time during my childhood; A nonno I didn't really know, he was pretty known by the local mobsters; he was a Family left hand man, I'm proud to know I can relate to him with one thing. My Father was in the Cosa Nostra as well he was under a strong family, his crew leader, the God Father JimmytheLionHeart and him were pretty good friends, they both grew in the same city. Some mobster told me that my father was very well respected by Sir Jimmy and that he wanted to give a family to my father. I remember my father talking about this to Sir Jimmy; I was young, around 15, I knew my father's job. I remember my father telling him to give him a bit of time. My father never became a crew leader. A war started in Philly he was one of the first one to be killed. I was young when my father was killed, I was 19. My last conversation with him was about me joining him when he would become a crew leader. My dream to this day is still the same; make my father proud by realizing his dream.

My mother was killed when I was very young, I didn't know her I was only 2 years old. She was killed in a drive by when some gangster of this other family was sent to kill my father. They got my mother instead. Ever since my mother was killed my grandmother took care of me like a mother does. Still even if I loved her very much I felt like I didn't have a mother I'd tell myself I can't have my mother and my grandmother be the same women. All my life I felt incomplete. When my nonna passed away when I was 9, my father took me back home. At that point I thought everything was fucked up, why do I lose everyone? I started doing drugs at 13, starting selling at 16 and started to fuck at 14. At 19 I actually started to know Sir Jimmy. It all started when he came to me and took me as a father when my father died. He told me that he wasn't going to be here for ever, many people wanted him dead. He took me into his family. At 19 I was actually a mobster, I couldn't believe it. When Jimmy died I knew I was alone. I took my thinks and left, I met this great man, Sherlock. He took me in his family I was just a thug but he knew I had great potential even though I must say I have a fairly low education. When I turned 21, Sherlock gave me a great gift. He called me in his office and asked me to sit down. I was kind of nervous I didn't know what was going to happen. He told me he had great trust in me, he liked my work and he then told me,

>"Kid, your doing great. I would like you to do me a favor. I would like you to be my Right Hand Man."

When he named me his RHM I was shocked. It meant a lot to me, I had just gotten the highest position any of my family members had ever gotten, my grandfather was a LHM, and here I was as a RHM. Los Angeles is a great city, I loved it and still do. When I was 53 I was still Sherlock's RHM, I had just done something wrong I agree with it and what I got I well deserved. I have just done something I didn't realize was wrong. One of the members was being a little bitch and went to tell Los Angeles' God Father, Premiere about what I have done. This member was like a brother to me, I had respect for him and I thought he had that respect back, but all he wanted was RHM. He wanted me dead, ended dead himself. Premiere had a talk with Sherlock and they came up to a punishment, I was demoted to LHM. A sad punishment but it could have been worst and I still learned from this error.

Even today I still wish to honor my father and become a crew leader, but yet doesn't everyone want to become powerful? I work everyday thinking of my father of the people who loved and helped me in my life, I still need to find someone who can love me and treat me like a mother does, but at 55 I don't think this might happen.

-TonyAlacchi