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| Whiny Wally-New from Durden Industries! | Started by: TylerDurden on Nov 20, '07 12:31 |
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Hi there. I'm Tyler Durden. You might remember me from such other toy advertisments as "Small Parts Sally," and "Anatomically Correct Angie." Today, I'm here to advertise the newest product rolled out by the good people at Durden Industries (me!)--Whiny Wally! Every crew leader can attest to the fact that running a family brings all of the idiots out of the woodwork. Whiny Wally does his best to simulate that. You, too, can feel like a real Mob boss with your Whiny Wally repeating catch phrases like*: "Why haven't you promoted me yet?" "Can I have a loan? I swear I'll pay you back this time!" "I should be your RHM, I'd be better at it!" "I have an idea for how to run your crew, wanna listen?" And, after about a week of ownership... "Will you auth me to set up myself?"** Crewleaders aren't left out of the fun, either. Instead of HQing the real bastards who do this kind of shit on a daily basis, just take out your frustrations on your Whiny Wally doll!*** The rest of you who have always dreamed of your own family--this is your chance! Only minus all the glory, women, money, and fun! Step right up, folks, because these babies are going fast. Only $14.95, and you can walk home with your own annoying little Thug lackey today! *Batteries sold separately. Whiny Wally does not actually speak without batteries, no matter what this ad leads you to believe **Ignoring this request too many times may cause your Whiny Wally to go rogue, pull out a gun, and begin shooting at you. Durden Industries is not responsible for any Whiny Wally-related deaths. ***Overabuse may make Whiny Wally misshappen and lumpy, distort his voice, and cause slight mental retardation. Please abuse your Whiny Wally responsibly. |
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I thought that was just the "Kes Doll" version! |
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| Reply by: FatBastard at Nov 20, '07 12:33 | |
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I was sold up until this point. |
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| Reply by: Cathy_Parks at Nov 20, '07 12:43 | |
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Your concerns are legitimate. It was only shortly after release that we realized that this might be a problem. Don't worry, folks. We are hastily throwing together designs for Bodyguard Bruno, a safeguard in case Whiny Willy does decide to go rogue. He will be on the market later this week--we are bypassing all that pointless "safety testing" to get him to you faster! In the meantime, it is rare that a rogue actually hits his former Boss--you don't have anything to worry about! *Bodyguard Bruno will be sold separately. Like real bodyguards, he will not come cheap. |
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| Reply by: TylerDurden at Nov 20, '07 13:05 | |
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