Okay, so. I have been seriously trying to lose weight. The only thing is, I love Darhma Initiative Brand Beer and Potato Chips!

With my love of food so intense I've decided that the only way I am going to lose weight is through exercise.

Then I got to thinking.. "Dude, I hate exercise."  What's a lovingly large guy to do?

He needs motivation. hmm...what motivates me? Let's see, pie, pie motivates me. Pizza might get my ass in gear... but that won't work, because then we are right back to where we started, the calories that I am burning to reach the Pizza Pie will be replaced once I actually REACH the Italian cuisine. 

What else... Oh! Dude! I like money! Ever since I won the lottery (Sorry TM for shutting your Casino down) I have loved having money, but everyone around me started to die, so had to get rid of the money, it was cursed...I gave it to my Godfather, its the least I could do after all he has given me, plus I know he doesn't believe in the supernatural so cursed money isn't a problem...anyway, I like un-cursed money... But I dont have any... but now that I have the taste for it...I GOTTA HAVE IT DUDE!

So what do I do? I steal it. I know, not very respectable, but what can I say bro, after all is said and done, I am who I am...a criminal.

Now, picking a pocket is easy, I can do that just about anytime I want to, its decent exercise I suppose, but I need more...So what I have done is sort of made it in to a game. I look for those that are scared to get picked, not just scared, but terrified!! Anyone that walks our streets wearing a T-shirt that says "I Don't want to be Pick Pocketed" is scared and those are the people I target first.

I mean lets be honest dude... Really? You don't want me to steal your money? Really? Seriously? Do you need to tell me that? On the other hand, if you truly didn't care, you would just give me the money.

I guess that leads me to this:

All those that are wearing shirts that say you don't care if I steal your money, lets make things easier on both of us and please send $5000.00 to me at this time, and every 4 hours there after...you don't care right?

For those of you that are wearing t-shirts that say you don't want your money stolen, and you find that it did get stolen. Just assume it was me, duude. My Dad always told me to target the weak and scared.

Thanks for your attention! Dude, you got some jerky? I'm starving...

Luckily i dont mind having people put their hands in my pocket.

Strangely enough when i switched from no pp to pp i got less people trying to rob me.

Im sorry but my weekly payments go to the Casinos of New York and Detroit! Thats it! I cant afford to spend anymore money.. amongst my lawsuits, child custory battles and medical bills im poor as Cav!

Mumbles about some useless stuff and smiles and has a daydream of casinos, blackjack and cards dancing in the air

Anyways, Pick those pockets brother..

Reaches deep into his pocket and pulls  half a sandwich (peanut butter and jelly I think...wait... is that mold?) Peeling of a $10 note stuck on the sandwich and stuffing the note back to the abyss that is his pants pocket, Jagger offers the snack to Hurley

If you scrap off this little bit of discolouration here its kinda edible.  I don't really understand what the fuss is all about. If you're so afraid of PP then keep all your cash in the bank!

Its not a problem for me. If you don't mind the occasional.....stuff.....that pops up with the cash *eyes the sandwich* by all means go ahead and reach into my pockets!

After pondering just how the hell the young Mr. Reyes got back to the States, he turns to the hairy fellow and says:

"Mr. Reyes, I'm thrilled to hear you're ready to shed that... excess baggage, shall we say. If ever you're pacing the mean streets of Chicago feel free to dip your hands in my pockets and fish out some monetary goodness!"

Letifer pats the time-travelling gangster on his back and disappears into the now dissipating crowd.

Fayth walks over after hearing the speech

Its fine if you catch me I dont mind peoples hands in my pockets at all.

try-6, Jagger1990, Letifer and -Fayth-... Since you are inviting the picking of pockets...Kindly send $5000 to Godfather Rourke, courtesy of Hurley every 4 hours from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed. OK? Thanks!

This will make it a lot easier for me, this way I don't have to chase you, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly a Greyhound these days...

Thanks Duuude!

Well, Mr. Hurley, while I certainly don't mind people pickpocketing me, it's not just that I have the money to go around--it's more that I love having peoples' hands in my pockets. It's quite the pleasurable experience, I can assure you, especially when it's one of the fine ladies of Chicago groping you...er, rather, groping for your wallet, yes, nice save.

Kizzy clears her throat before continuing.

What's even better, though, is the opportunity to then turn around and snatch back what money I can from my robber as a demonstration of my own skills. Because pickpocketing isn't, after all, merely a forced transfer of money from one mobster to the other--there's something of a social or psychological element to it as well. It's an opportunity to steal from thieves and trick tricksters, something, in short, to brag or at least gloat silently about. After all, if someone manages to steal my money, it's either my fault for letting my guard down or they're just good enough to get around it--and either way, they deserve whatever they get.

"All those that are wearing shirts that say you don't care if I steal your money, lets make things easier on both of us and please send $5000.00 to me at this time, and every 4 hours there after...you don't care right?"

That's the greatest thing I've ever heard.

Im sending you 5,000 right now just for that.

I got it dude! Thanks!

Although I may or may not have robbed you in the past...so you have gone above and beyond, dude.