FADE IN

1. EXT. STREETS

A man is standing in the the middle of streets. These are a special kind of streets. They're the streets shared by all the criminal folk across the country. And by this I mean that those from Detroit can speak to those from New York as if they were actually side-by-side. It must have something to do with the quantum perambulations of quasi-exotic anti-matter, but these people were not to know this. It being the 1930's, and all. They just thought it was pretty cool. And neat. And perhaps just a little bit spooky. But, as is the case with most people, they tend to ignore those strange supernatural events that defy explanation. Instead they think quite ordinary and physically explicable occurrences to be the workings of ghosts or aliens or a deity of some sort. Silly people.

2. ON AWESOME

Early-twenties, very good-looking, athletic, and just a little bit awesome, but in a massive kind of way. His eyes glow, like. Probably a radiant beam of 100% pure awesomeness. And by "probably" I clearly mean "definitely". Or, rather, "necessarily". Obviously. His eyes are defined by his trademark guy-liner; unheard of until this time. And, my God, does it make him look sexy. It makes him look so sexy, in fact, that he could in fact be called "Sexy". And he is, of a sort. It's his middle name, see?. True story. Awesome Sexy [something that is as-of-yet unknown (read: undecided)]. His piercing guy-liner-defined gaze of awesomeness does as the adjective describes; pierced. It pierced the gathered group of garrulous gangsters, and hypocritically so. Figuratively speaking, of course. He wouldn't go 'round hurting his peers now, would he? He's a nice guy. Kind of. Well, just a little. Or not at all. The shooting people in the face and setting children on fire might tally up to show him to be an evil monster. But he's too naive and innocent to be evil. But it's a guilty-innocence. Being that he's a criminal and all. It makes perfect sense.

3. ROOFTOP

The building was a bank. That big bank in the streets that keeps everyone's money safe. Or as safe as it can. Which is about as safe as, to plagiarize. But that's another story. Upon this rooftop stood a man. A man dressed in black, from head to toe. Probably trying to blend in and stay hidden. Which doesn't work as well during a bright summer day as it would at night. So he's obviously a somewhat stupid man. And thankfully so, as we shall soon see.

4. ON STUPID MAN

Unknown age, unknown looks, average build, and probably not-at-all awesome. Not very descriptive, I know, but he was covered head to toe, and stupidly so, in black would-be camouflage. On the floor to his side lay a gun. A big long gun. A big long loaded gun. A rifle. A sniper rifle. A big black long loaded sniper rifle. With go-faster stripes on the side. Like I said, he's probably a stupid man. After finishing his cigarette, which I, as a failure, failed to mention earlier when it would have perhaps been more appropriate, he picked up his big black long loaded sniper rifle with go-faster stripes on the side and peered through the scope as he, unsurprisingly, scoped the streets below him. After swinging back and forth between people -- that gathered group of garrulous gangsters -- he found his target: Awesome. Surprise surprise, shock shock, horror horror.

5. ON GATHERED GROUP OF GARRULOUS GANGSTERS

Ugly. Fat. Weird. The lot of them. Totally not awesome. Such is life. They stood there, listening to Awesome, who no doubt was preaching words of awesomeness, and just being generally awesome. Except not so generally. Specifically, in fact. Awesome in the way specific to Awesome; that being awesome, duh. But these preached words of awesomeness are not relevant. No, not at all. The relevant facts of this not-a-story-but-a-real-life-account-of-today's-happenings are that an unknown stupid man dressed in black had Awesome in the scopes of his big black long loaded sniper rifle with go-faster stripes on the side. It's pretty clear to everyone, I hope, that he intends to shoot Awesome in the face. Which aside from being a very mean thing to do, is totally a copyright infringement. I mean, attempted murder is one thing, but intellectual theft? That's almost too much. It's one step below scenes of a sexual nature, and two steps below bad language. And we couldn't be having swearing, now, could we? Fuck no.

6. ON STUPID MAN

He lay still. Waiting. His sight set firmly on Awesome. Perhaps a little nervous. I would be. But, then again, I'm not stupid. Stupid people are too stupid to be nervous. They're all stupid and stuff, like. Stupid people are funny. But, back to the not-a-story-but-a-real-life-account-of-today's-happenings. The man's arms began to quiver. But, no worry; just an irrelevant itch. So he scratched it. Much better. Arms steady, and ready for action, sight set back on Awesome, he pulled the trigger.

...

Nothing. Nothing happened? That's weird! But, wait! The man pulled his big black long loaded sniper rifle with go-faster stripes on the side towards him and noticed the strangest thing. There was a flag sticking out of his rifle. Pulling it out, he turned it towards him and read the writing which had been written upon it.

7. ON FLAG

Large letters, reads: Deus Ex Machina.

8. ON STUPID MAN

The man shivers with anger and rips off his stupidly-black head mask. And, in a sudden plot twist, the stupid man is, in fact, a woman! And a black woman, obviously. Must have some ethnic diversity! Probably Jewish. And definitely a lesbian.

- BLACK (JEWISH?) LESBIAN

"DAMMIT!"

FADE OUT

FADE IN

On even awesomer man. 

 "Is that even a word? As long as we're talking about me it is.  I am, in fact, the awesomest man in the world." 

On less Awesome Man.

"Wow, if only I, Awesome, were as awesome as that man."

On Stupid Man.

...who is, in fact, a woman.  She shoots Awesome, but the bullet just bounces off, because he is so awesome. 

FADE OUT

FADE IN

Why are we fading in and out?

FADE OUT

Awesome turns his head towards the so-called "awesomer man" and bitch-slaps him across the face.

I am at the pinnacle of awesomeness. I am the measure of awesomity. Nothing and nobody can be awesomer than me. So, ha!

Awesome turns his head towards the so-called "toilet paper guy", also known as "bagel-and-coffee guy", and even "Chrystal", which we're all pretty sure is a girls name, and smiles.

Fading in and out is a plot device which separates scenes. You know, when the man gets shot, and then the scene fades out, and then fades into one of him in the hospital?

AngelicDemon reads in amusement.

"Is there going to be another scene then Awesome? I would like to see more."

She turns and leaves the streets.