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| Dear Tommy's Advice | Started by: TommyAngelo on Oct 09, '15 01:56 |
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Tommy walks into the streets watching as all his fellow mafioso pass by going about their days. As he notices the foot traffic increase he sits down a wooden crate and stands upon it. A crowd begins to gather at the sight of the well dressed mafioso standing upon a crate like a crazy man and he begins to address the crowd. Friends, Romans, Criminals, lend me your ears! Well perhaps not Romans, but anyways now that I have your attention! Tommy pulls a folded paper from his suit pocket and unfolds it slowly. I am here today due to an overwhelming amount of letters I've received from our fellow brethren confiding in my expertise of advice giving. I have collected a good few and have taken the time to answer a handful and thought to myself what better way to give the answers than by addressing them anonymously for all to view. So without keeping you fine folks any longer. Tommy glances down at the paper and begins to read. "Dear Tommy, I've found that I am mostly only attracted to women who are really men. They mostly look like women but when it comes to the business end they're still men. What should I do? Signed, Anonymous" Tommy looks around up from the parchment he holds in his hands and smiles. "Well, anonymous. I would say that the heart wants what it wants. However, when the heart is misled does that mean it still wants it? Or are you desperate enough to bite the bullet, among other things? Try drinking a lot, it may help!" Tommy smiles before moving on to the next letter he was written. "Dear Tommy, I used to be a bear and at one time a Raccoon. I have a lot of problems identifying as my true self, which is a squirrel. Also, I like cats. Signed, Sleepless in New York." Tommy looks up once more from his parchment and glances around. "Well, Sleepless in New York, it's a bit of a head scratcher. I'd say that you should embrace your inner squirrel. There's no shame in being a small fuzzy animal. Unless you've been ran over by a trolley. I'd say that has a bit of shame attached to it. Seriously, get it together." Tommy looks down once more and moves on to the final letter. "Dear Tommy, I have a friend who has a friend, well it's really more me. Anyways, that friend or me has a friend who doesn't want to be my friend anymore. Should we all just be friends or should we get steak? Signed, Confused and hungry" Tommy stops and stares at the crowd slightly blank faced and confused. "Well, Confused and hungry. Honestly, I don't know what to say. I mean, on one hand you are a friend of yourself and another person but steak is not meant to be shared. I hope that you will enjoy your steak and remember you can always keep your...self company." Tommy takes his letters and folds them up before sticking them into his pocket. "Dear people if you have questions that you would like to have answered....semi discretely. Please, send them up and I will help you through your traumatic and ever frustrating lives!" Tommy steps down from his wooden crate and awaits more letters. |
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'Sarah_Farron merges into the crowd to see what everyone was so interested in and waits until TommyAngelo finished their speech' Well thats some good solid advice their, you might have to change your career choice :) |
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| Reply by: Sarah_Farron at Oct 09, '15 18:53 | |
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Well, Mr. Angelo. I am glad to see you out here on the streets, giving out such valuable advice. Ya know, I could use a nice "Ask Tommy" section in my paper. Let me know if you would be interested in doing a column or so a week? I myself am currently having an issue. I have this terrible itch, right up underneath my nardsack. At first I thought it was just a bit of chaffing from my armor, but now it's progressed into an honest to god rash. What can I do? |
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| Reply by: Ronin at Oct 11, '15 02:39 | |
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Tommy stops upon hearing the questions the man has for him. With a twisted smile he positions his crate once more before climbing upon it and clearing his throat "Well, to an "itch in the armor" let me say this. What happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. Especially if that what is Brazilian prostitute named Coco. I suggest going to a doctor immediately but I'm not a doctor myself so, don't make any rash decisions. As far as your offer kind sir, here is my card." Tommy tosses the man his card as if as magician doing a trick from his sleeve. "Contact me and we shall discuss details so that I may further help the good people of this world." Tommy once more glances around the crowd before nodding and stepping off of his crate. |
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| Reply by: TommyAngelo at Oct 11, '15 03:05 | |
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