I like jokes, you like jokes, we all like jokes (presumably, since you did click this). Let's do a jokes thread.

But I have THREE conditions:

1.) It must be a short joke. 2 lines MAX. Yes, size does indeed matter in this case... favoring the smaller ones, of course. The shorter the better. Yes, that's what she said. Okay, glad we got that out of the way.

2.) You have to rate the joke above yours before you post your own (from 1-10, 10 being so good it gave you an orgasm, I don't know, etc.).

3.) If you don't get the jokes, you are probably too young and should not post. But do tell your parents, I'm sure they'll have a laugh.

So I'll start, I guess.

I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. 

He told me to stop going to those places.

I like the cheap ones.

7/10

Two antenna's met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was excellent!

7/10

Parallel lines have so much in common

It's a shame they'll never meet.

5/10

I'll never forget my grandfather's last words to me before he kicked the bucket. He looked me in the eyes and said,

"Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

Always loved this sick and twisted joke,

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?" 

The wheelchair.

How do you know a cabbage is cooked?

The wheelchair floats to the top

6/10

The other day I farted in an elevator

It was wrong on so many levels 

Did you hear the joke about the skunk?

Nevermind, it stinks.

ba-dum-tsss! =p

Sex is like math.

Add the bed, Subtract the clothes, Divide the legs and pray you don't multiply.

What kind of music do wind turbines like?

They're big metal fans.

Remy was a good godfather

My grandfather invented the cold air balloon

but it never really took off

6/10 it was ok 

I have won first place in this Halloween costume contest 16 years in a row. This year I am dressed as a hotdog. I'm on a roll.

Have you heard of the joke about the skunk?

Ahh, nevermind, it stinks =p

A 2, maybe 3 if your young.

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

these are not that funny