On the corner of a building on the corner of Bagley St. Corktown, Detroit, were the open double doors to a traditional English style "pub". This Pub's name is "The Queen's Legs" The locals would describe this as a large lounge that served food and drinks, filled with couches, comfortable chairs and large projection screens replaying big games, of a variety of sports, from the past week.

The intoxicating aromas of "home cooking" style foods filled the air. A symphony of steamed, mixed vegitables, gravies and of course, the smell of beer, as no one ever manages to not spill their drink from the journey between the bar and their seats. This pub boasted the largest range of traditional British Ales, Ciders and european Lagers to compliment the stock pile of spirits, wines and locally brewed chemical pisswater. The atmosphere was lively, people chatting away and laughing heartily between swigs of their pints.

There were a variety of people in differently fashioned get-ups working behind the bar. This place seemed to not have a dress code, or a type requirement for people to be welcome. Along with the food and drink on sale, there was a designated smoking area towards the back of the room, where people could enjoy cigarettes, pipes, cigars and cannabis in peace. There were also mushrooms and a variety of mood enhancing pills available from behind the bar to trustworthy patrons. Across from the smoking area and dining areas was a large open space, infront of a stage covered by a red velvet curtain. The dance area was mostly left open and on occasion tables and chairs would be set-up whenever an entertainment act such as a comic or poet would be booked to perform for the evening.

Around the outside of the dance floor there were tables, each of which had several menus, 1 for food, 1 for drinks and 1 containing the number/letter combination to the available music on the jukebox. In large print across the top of the jukebox's playlist menu were the words "free use of the jukebox for each and every drink or meal purchased"  Included on the back page of this booklet were simple step by step instructions on how to operate the jukebox.

Step 1: Simply select your track. Step 2: "Link" your track by pressing the corresponding buttons on the keypad. Step 3: Press play.

Over popped a waiter. A slim man with slick back blonde hair, a thin, trimmed mustache and well fitted, formal looking clothes. A stark contrast to the pierced and tattoo'd beauty clad in a baggy black tee, you had first seen pulling pints of ale at the bar. After opening the food and drink menus for you and make recommendations of his personal favourites of the chef's specialities the waiter demonstrates briefly how to use the jukebox, to allow you to entertain yourself whilst you waited for your order to arrive.. He plays an upbeat number he knows will get you in to the mood to strut your stuff on the dance floor to further increase your appetite.

Cissie Redgwick - Gimme That Swing

The queen's legs employee informs you that all cooking is tailored to each patron and quite literally anything may be ordered, so long as it doesn't require the staff travelling abroad to hunt endangered species to obtain the ingredients. He stands with a pencil in hand eagerly anticipating your order...

The mighty Jabba slithers in slowly, looking hot and parched from moving from his modified 3 ton truck to the establishments interior. Moving wasn't really Jabba thing, he'd much prefer just hanging around his Tailoring Emporium letting his Jawa lackeys do all his bidding for him but today he had to sort a few jobs out personally himself.

He liked the music that was playing but when it was finished he thought he'd put on his own favourite singer, one who he had once had a long term romantic relationship with...until she had tried to kill him. So that was the end of that.

Pushing a few buttons on the music systems control panel he made his selection and then slithered over to the counter.

Lapti Nek

"Bo Shudda.....Can I have 3 Cod, 2 chips, 4 slices of bread and butter and a pint of mushy peas please" boomed Jabba in broken English while slamming down $20. "Better gimmi a pitcher of beer too"

Jabba winked slyly to the person serving him "Ill just be over here" he says pointing a chubby digit to a space in the corner before sliding off.

The short, rotund bartender wasn't sure what to make of Jabba winking at him. He felt un-easy for a moment but remained professional none the less, smiling politely in return. He finishes writing down the order, waits for jabba to slither away and picks up a near by kitchen towel to dab the blobs of white gooeyness that had been spewed in his direction by the salivating, hungry, outter rim gangster

He passed the order through to the kitchen. Poured out a large tanker of the locally brewed, undescribed "beer" and carried it over towards the half a dozen tables in the corner jabba had decided to claim for himself. Placing the pitcher down, the waiter smiles and politely asks if there is anything else the notorious mobster would like.

The food, now wafting it's over powering smell around the establishment was no ready and on it's way to being served to Jabba. As a request to one of Jabba's entourage some of the out of towner's local music had been put on, on the jukebox.

The Cantina Band - Their One and Only Hit

After a short moment of the food being placed on the table, the waiting staff quickly realise they've mis-understood the giant slug's order. That 2 chips meant 2 portions of chips, not just 2 singular chips, neatly placed side by side. A 4th waiter was quickly hurrying along to place the plate of bread and butter next to the rest of the meal as the group of embarassed waiters quickly started to shoo her away to sae causing further embarassment. 

Rewriting the order as 3 dozen full cods, 2 PORTIONS of chips and 4 LOAVES of bread covered in butter. The only part of the original order which was correctly prepared was the jug of 'beachelor' brand of mushy peas. So they left that behind on the table and scurried off to fix the misunderstanding, apologising profusely as they went.

The original waiter offered Jabba a complimentary drink on the house and insisted he make himself welcome to enjoy the jukebox as much as he'd like.

The Mighty Jabba quickly grabs the 2nd pitcher and downs the lot, his large eyes widening in enjoyment  as his nasty thirst is quenched. Letting out a massive belch Jabba slides his mucus covered tongue across his lower lip, "One more pitcher wouldn't go a miss Friend!", the hutt booms, "Don't worry about the mistake. I've been getting that a lot since arriving planet-side."

Jabba heads bops side to side at the Cantina Band song as he is obviously enjoying it.  As a waiter passes he hands the empty pitcher to him, "That was delicious!  Better than that Corellian stuff I acquired many moons ago.  Would you have any dancing slave girls out back by any change?  I always like to watch a few dancers while I nourish this athletic build of mine!"

"HO HO HO HO" Jabba laughs happily as he taps the top of the table with his large palm, indicating where he would like the dancers to dance. "Now where's my grub as my stomach is feeling like it's digesting itself!"

The Hutt while waiting for his food motions for one of his Jawa henchmen to go over and put another song on.  The small hooded figure of a man scurries over to the music system as commanded and presses a few buttons...

The Saga Begins

The entire building falls silent, all occupants turning their attention upon the corner Jabba was occupying and even the jukebox managed to choose that exact moment to loudly skid to a stillness.

The establishment's regally dressed owner appears, walking out of the elevator which came from the upstairs office. Unlike usual, queenie's face wasn't gleaming with pearly white teeth and crows feet around her eyes. She was completely strait-faced. She approached the loudly singing hutt. By her side were her usual entourage of personal bodyguards and servants. 

"Would you have any dancing slave girls out back by any change?" She repeats, flatly. "one does not know how things are done from whence you came, but we do NOT tolerate slavery around here." queenie's well suited assistants glare menacingly towards Jabba and his associates, to let them know this was serious and any mistakes at this point could become costly.

queenie continued.. "we suggest that you leave, sober up and reconsider your outlook on life, before returning here. we won't be so forgiving of this level of disrespect twice." queenies men surround the corner and begin escorting Jabba's Jawas away from the tables and towards the exit in a calm fashion. queenie stared at Jabba, awaiting his response

The rest of the pub's occupants went back to chatting away breezily, as if nothing had happened and the clink of glasses being dried and stacked away on shelves once again floated lightly on top of the sound of the jukebox someone had dabbed some buttons on.

Washington vs. William Wallace

The spirit of freedom filling the air, people began joining in with their favourite part. Sloshing pints of ale and booze about the place in a merry shanty song fashion.

Jabba's eyes widen with queenie's reaction to his request.  He almost was intimidated by the response but the old gangster had been in more than one sticky situation before.  His henchmen on the other hand were almost panicking, looking at their boss for advice. Calmly Jabba slithers out the door turning just before he leaves making direct eye contact to queenie "HO HO HO, HO." laughs the old Hutt, his eyes closing to slits.  He leaves without saying anything else...

"Finally! Back in Detroit!" I left on business for a few days but I missed home. After unpacking, and getting my cat Tom settled, I headed out to have dinner. I would have joined the guys back at HQ, but I decided to enjoy the evening alone. Anyways, the younger ones wouldn't enjoy the company of someone as old as me. I marveled at the Queen's Legs! It was a new restaurant and I was lucky that it had an empty table. As I was looking at the menu, I saw this new machine that sung songs while the diners enjoyed their meal. I headed towards it and read the instructions carefully. After picking a medley, I pressed play.

Medley

 Nothing beat's a good music when you feel like relaxing. I headed back to my table and checked the menu. With all the delicious entries, I can't seem to decide what to order. I called the waiter and told him:

"I'll have the house specialty for tonight. And a bottle of red wine."

Enticed by sweet scents, and a simply mouth-watering aroma Nixe walked through the doors of The Queen's Legs. While he was initially in Detroit to visit a friend of his, the young brunette never missed an opportunity to stroll through the business districts, to see the new corporations had cropped up. Rarely, was he disappointed. Taking the moment to seat himself, Nixe slipped into the booth away from the designated smoking area. Only then did he pick up the drink menu to peruse.

Rae stopped inside the building and turned her head as she looked around, her eyes lit up when she spotted Nixe sitting near the back. She quickly made her way over to him and slid into the booth across from him. "Sorry I'm late." she told him as she shrugged out of her coat. "I had an appointment and it ended up running over." she explained to him before she looked around, "Nice place, here." She told him, "I'm so glad you suggested it." She smiled at the man and then asked, "Have you been waiting long?"

Perusing the menu idly, the male yawned. The delicious aromas that were floating up and about made his stomach rumble, clamoring to be filled. But alas, he had to wait. Alerted to the presence of Rae when she slid into the seat across from him, the brunette greeted the woman. "Oh, it's no problem," Nixe replied, "I haven't even ordered drinks yet. Speaking of the devil," picking up the drinks menu, he passed it to her. "There's a surplus of choices - what looks good to you?" It was clear he wasn't sure what to order for himself.

Rae chuckled, "The devil indeed." She said as she accepted the menu and started reading. "It is a bit early in the day," she commented with a quick glance at the watch on her wrist, "Perhaps I'll start light and just have a cider." she told him. "Bit refreshing, you should get a shandy, you know, Beer and lemonade?" she suggested, "Not to heavy, and still a bit manly." she winked at Nixe and then set the drinks menu down. "Are we still going to have lunch?" she asked while she pulled her wallet out and pulled a few coins out to pay at the bar. 

An elder fellow with a combover that convinced no one stood behind the bar. He put his hands out as if pushing the air between himself and @Ravin away in "woah woah woah" gesture.

"Detroit family members don't pay for, well, anything! at this bar, other than tipping good service... and that's only if they want to." The man said with a hint hint tone to his voice"I mean we get paid well enough to put kids through college." he begins "Oh if only some of us didn't have to also pay for our grandkids to go now, too.. and theres soooo many of them... and my wifes hip, oh and of course dear mamma's medical bills are racking up..." The man was putting on a hammy production of "oh the plight we live with" when he noticed his supervisor glaring at him

"heheheh but as I say. we do get paid well enough... heheh.. so you wanted a 'manly' shandy for your friend and a cider for yourself? okay. I'm on it!" he noticed his supervisor had gone back into the back  "Ooo! my old bones, not what they once were... and these sub-par orthopaedic shoes that are causing my harm than good!" he seemed adamant that such a well known city earner would be flush with cash and today was his bonus pay-day, a christmas come early

Rae had gathered her money once it was apparent that Nixe was lost in thought over the menu, "I'll just order that shandy for you, if you don't like it, I'll get you something else." she told him with a smile as she walked up to the bar. She set the money on the bar when an older gentleman started telling her they don't except money. She smiled and dropped the money she could have spent in the tip jar and nodded, "Absolutely." she says just before he starts dithering on about his wife and kids. 

"Oh yes, from what I can tell he's not much of a drinker, so I thought we'd start him off on something light, and then work our way up the ladder of debauchery." She told the man with a wink. "And as for the shoes, " she said as she stuck her hand in her purse to dig out a few more coins. "Perhaps a new pair is in order?" she asked him as she dropped the new coins in the jar as well. 

"As for the Cider, could I be terribly awkward and ask for it over ice?" she said with a smile, "Its a bit too early in the day for me to be staggering about drunk. This isn't London, you know." she said with a wave of her hand an an awkward laugh. 

"Ice?" the man stuttered in shock "As in, eskimos, penguins and ICE!?" the man reeled back for a moment in a temporary daze... he had worked in pubs all his adult life, infact he was raised by pub owners back in Blighty and had never heard someone ask for cider to poured on ice. He understood that the americanization of everything had made it popular for cider and ales to be, for some strange reason, kept chilled but to hear it requested on ice took his breath away.

He mumbled something about "these bloody kids 'avnt go' a fooking clue"  but continued to shovel some ice into a pint glass before putting it under a cider tap. He snarkily questioned "Perhaps you'd like a slice of lime an umbrella and a curly straw in your friends shandy?" quickly he remembered what @Rayln does for a living, and who with. He nervously laughs outloud.

"hahah I'm joking of course" he sighs to himself thinking he's gotten away with his impudence when his superviser sticks their head out of the door and tells him to come round the back once he's finished serving the esteemed customer.

Rae grinned at the man and then held up her hands, "I know, I know." she told him, "I'm a bit ashamed of myself to be honest." she admitted to him. "But the ice melts and then I don't get drunk so quickly." she rubbed the right side of her stomach, "the liver needs a break now and then, doesn't it?" she asked him. 

When he mentioned umbrellas and curly straws her eyes lit up with joy, "If you have them...Yes, absolutely." she said with a bark of laughter, "Because I'm still trying to convince him," She jerked her thumb over her shoulder, "That this is a very, very manly drink." she chuckled again. "But don't put yourself out, obviously."

"Woah woah woah, I don't drink, you know that," Nixe huffed, smiling at his friend. "And I'm willing to sacrifice my manhood as you called it, for something light." Shaking his head slowly, the brunette sighed. RayLin was something, that was for sure. Glancing towards the waiter tended to them, [queenie?] he said, "I'll take a glass of tea, if you have it. Something warm, to shake this chill from my bones."

The well dressed waiters of the pub were purposefully pacing about the place, organising tables and seats upon the dance floor. It was evident they were preparing the place for an that would be taking to the stage. To mark the gravity of this event, queenie herself came to inspect and over see the transformation.

Already wearing what she would for the evening queenie took a seat in the centre of the tables as if to test the positioning to see if was a seat worthy of her. After doing this several times across the dance floor queenie nodded in approval to the head waiter and sent him off to organise the champaign coolers, flowers and various other decorative features.

queenie noticed a few of her city's mobsters enjoying themselves. In particular she noticed a young couple sitting opposite a bar in a booth. the lady drinking a pint of what she presumed was beer and the man drinking something through a pink curly straw. She momentarily began to question just how liberal a place she had opened when a team of penguin suit wearing gentlemen surrounded queenie with various clipboards and samples for her approval.

A man walks in through the front door with several rolls of paper under his arm. They were the left over posters advertising this evening's entertainment. As to start a new tradition of keeping a copy of all the acts inside the pub, the man approached an empty wall next to the bar and pinned up 1 of the posters.

This evening only!

Live acts include:

 

Russell Kane

 Ronny Chieng

 

Wrecking Crew Orchestra

She rolled her eyes at Nixe and said, "I don't understand why you don't drink." before taking a sip of her cider. She looked around as suddenly things started happening. She nudged Nixe under the table with her foot and hissed, "Look, It's the owner." as she watched the woman, in a very fancy outfit, do what she could only assume was a very lonely game of musical chairs. "If you want tea, you're going to have to go up to the bar and get it yourself." She told him, "Its your turn to hear about the old mans shoes and his wife's hips." she said with a laugh.