There has been much controversy of late with regards to albinism and how labelling someone as such counts as a stigma. This scandalises me. There can be no greater honour in life than the one bestowed upon your esteemed host.

I am monumentally proud of my pasty and therefore dreadfully sun scorched skin. Further to this seemingly misplaced and elevated level of self-esteem, my crimson, hellish eyes are enough to elicit blood flow to even my own nether regions. Please believe that my aforementioned masculinity is exquisite in nature. I would intimate that you will not "go back" as they say once you have experienced the thrills associated with wispy white pubic fur, operating as a flocculent hilt for my achromatic meat scimitar, rattling against your respective mons pubis or gluteus maximus. Do not allow popular innuendo to chicane you like a Cartesian demon, for I and my albino brethren possess magnificent sperm that is not only conducive to reproduction but preferable. We will as such incept parturition regularly. The permanence that you happen to possess an unexceptional and comprehensively pigmented physog, merely alludes to serendipity. Had my albinic genes managed to actually permeate their way through your muliebrous progenitor's dirty box during coitus, and we did engage in steaming hot deformity sex, you too would be a pulchritudinous, pallid personage.

While I am arrogant to the point of being able to illicit abhorrence from you, dear listener, my capacity as an albino is not without its detriments. This is of a repugnant lament to me. While exerting my prowess within the umbrella of organised crime, quandaries often arise. Ostentatiousness is the originator of much schadenfreude among my Mafioso antagonists. Old women are able to descry me with relative ease. I glow like a brilliant white champion when masqueraded by darkness. My subsequent deficit of revenue ergo renders me, albeit unmerited, among the other derelicts of this crime macrocosm.

I firmly attest that albino folk like myself are only apportioned a social taint for the antecedent and some what rhetorical arguments. Valid and sound expostulation no less. To consummate, you tremble at our ability to beguile your women into bed despite our glaring lack of riches, traditional beauty and decidedly vampiric traits. We are closer to Edward than you and that fills you positively with rancour. I shall leave you to stew in vehemence while listening to the following limerick...

There is an albino named McRavern, He often frequents a tavern, Your woman drinks there, The albino's lair, Soon he will invade her cavern.

I thank you.

The formatting of the limerick makes me sad.

wow...just wow

Awesome, enticed by the excellence of linguistic mastery, finds himself unable to avert his auditory gaze. As he listens to the albino's private memoirs and confessions, he can't help but appreciate the elegance and literary style of GiantWeepingVirginia. Although is disappointed by his poor formatting, which to the casual listener, is unnoticed. You have to be very extra special to be capable of hearing visual presentation.

To be an albino Bovine is the greatest of honours.

I salute you.

Albinos are special enough to hear aural formatting.

Hearing aural formatting is nowhere near as awesome as hearing visual formatting.

I do not think that is possible. We can merely form a mental image of the formatting via audio alone. The optic nerve is never engaged to the point of stimulating actual visual signals.

Oh, and did I mention that this speech is Certified Awesome™?