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| PayBack-Part 1 | Started by: CrazyWolf on Oct 26, '09 00:44 |
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8:00am I went to Lucky's Bar on 14th and Bowman. Walking to the door, I yelled "Hey Lucky I know you're here." " Yes I am here". he called back to me from the back room. I sat down on the old scarred up stool. I asked him for the same drink I had last night and I told him it was good. "Son of a bitch" I yelled, "those bastards got away. The freaking law showed up before I had a chance to get them." "Calm down Wolfie. " Lucky said. "I have my boys out looking for them." I grabbed Lucky by the collar "You tell your boys look but don't touch them bastards. They are mine." I growled at him. "Ok." he said, shaking like a leaf. I went home at 10:00am and started to watch the news. I saw Tony Lane and his brother Sam Lane. I got up out of my chair. 'Them son of a bitches', I thought to myself. 'I remember them, they were the two men I saw through the doorway when i was eight years old. Miss Parker who raised me like I was her own - I was left on her door step when I was a baby, and these bastards took her from me. Shot her right in front of me, and they will pay and pay dearly! She lost her life over fifty bucks. fifty fucking bucks and I lost my momma.' The rage built up in me. I could feel my fingers tightening up. The phone rang. I answered, it was Lucky. He said " Vito found em. They are at Tony Lane's house." ' Hot damn' I thought, 'pay back time.' "Lock and load." I said. Lucky said "Oh hell yeah man." I hung up the phone, and got in my car. This car was my mo,ma's car. a candy apple red 27 Chevy white all wheels and a 400 horse power motor. This baby could roll. i had the back stacked with guns, pump shot guns and four tommy guns. Tony lane was a pretty big man., about 6 foot and 215 pounds with a scar over his right ear. That was the ear I bit when I chased him when I was eight, but now I am 18 and grown up. I plan to do a lot worse to them, far worse. Sam Lane was a short and stocky mean little sucker who always smoked a cigar. I stopped the car in front of Lucky's bar. I was starting to get out of the car when I hear Lucky say, "Get Down man." I hid behind my car, with bullets flying around my head. I looked up and one bullet took out my cigar. 'oh man.' I thought, 'that was my last cigar'. I was as mad as a wet hornet. |
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Sweet Bro i can't wait for part 2.... |
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| Reply by: Henry_Hill_jr at Oct 26, '09 00:48 | |
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| Nicely written story..you have talent | |
| Reply by: ShadowLurker at Oct 26, '09 00:49 | |
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Looking forward to part 2 CW, good story! |
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| Reply by: Morgan at Oct 26, '09 07:56 | |
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| It was a good read. I enjoyed it. | |
| Reply by: TimberRattlesnake at Oct 26, '09 08:15 | |
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Crazy I am very proud of your work. An excellent story I look forward to the second part. I know the lengths you took to prepare and get people to help you prepare your first street thread and you really did a great job. Glad to have you as part of the Wolf Pack! |
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| Reply by: Paul_Vidi at Oct 26, '09 10:43 | |
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wow! that really got me on edge a little bit. i can't wait for part two. Great writing. |
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| Reply by: ballsy_mcdermont at Oct 26, '09 13:18 | |
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I like the story and I love your writing style.Don't let us wait long for the second part! |
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| Reply by: Geraldine_Castellano at Oct 26, '09 14:30 | |
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Very interesting story...can't wait for part 2:)Also,very unique writing style. |
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| Reply by: Horatio_MD at Oct 26, '09 15:53 | |
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I liked the story it's only your first thread and you showed you got talent. However, just a few friendly words of advice. I know when I read stories I like to know a bit more about the characters before you throw them in there like that. It seemed like you kind of threw in details about them as you went along through the story. Good story though can't wait for part 2 |
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| Reply by: ricob514 at Oct 26, '09 15:58 | |
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Great story Wolf, Looking forward to part two |
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| Reply by: Mad-Frank at Oct 26, '09 16:08 | |
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way to go Wolfie |
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| Reply by: Savannah at Oct 26, '09 17:44 | |
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