I've recently been hit with a few suicides lately.  It's definitely a tragedy.  I am hurt so much that I just needed to come out here and share some of the notes I've received.  It's therapeutic for me to speak openly about my losses.  Such upstanding members that would take the selfish way out.  How will I ever go on without those who have left this world far too late...err, I mean soon. 

Anyway, in order to overcome my grief, I've decided to come out here and share a couple of the notes I've received.  And then get some hugs, some pats on the back, and a few kind words from the community so I can move on with my life. 

"Dere Mr.hayes, iz so sory 4 not knowin nuthin, an fur leting the family down wit mey well thot out reespanses to stret speches. I meen 'guud point' is da best I could come up wit. I kant go on knowin dat I let u down.  You are amazing, and I only wish the best for you. "

Will crumpled it up and threw it away. 

Well, he was right about one thing.  I am amazing.  No, Awesome.  I didn't say I was awesome.  I said amazing.  And how he was able to put together a coherent sentence at the end there...who knows.  Perhaps there was hope for him.  Nah.  Probably not.  Oh well.

"Dear Mr. Hayes,  I apologize to you for crying to you every day about everything.  The fact that you didn't change my diaper every hour hurt me, and for that I cannot forgive you.  And I'm sorry you didn't listen to me, because I know it all.  I really don't know why you didn't kiss my ass and give me everything I wanted.  Now, it's too late.  I'm dead, and it's all your fault.  Live with yourself. "

Will crumpled another one up and tossed it aside.

Yeah, I think I'll live with myself just fine.  I'm so sorry I don't have to listen to that anymore.  Breaks my heart. 

Oh, and I just found another one. 

"Dear WillHayes,  I'm sorry.  Things aren't working out.  I can't do this anymore.  I'm very rich, and I'm going to die with all my money in my hand.  You know why?  Because I'm selfish like that.  So fuck you and die.  Bitch."

Will folded that one and kept it in his pocket.

That was my favorite.  Not like I haven't heard "fuck you and die" before.  I've heard it plenty.  But he died as a rich man.  That one hurt a bit.  He was so selfish, that he decided to die with all his money instead of giving it to me.  But in the end, the joke's on him.  His next of kin didn't get it either. 

Wow!  That really was thereapeutic.  I feel so much better already.  Thanks community, for listening.  You're the best.  And if anybody else would like to commit suicide and leave me their suicide note, please feel free.  I'll gladly read it to the community.  Note, however, that I reserve my right to make any and all editorial comments that are appropriate, like the following:

Suicide is stupid.  Why do it?  It's selfish.  It's disloyal.  And it's a sin.  That's right, a sin.  You want to die.  Tell me, I'll be happy to oblige (assuming you are in my family).  I'm sure your crewleader will be just as happy to oblige.  You join a family and then you decide that you don't like the way things are going, so you up and quit, and kill yourself.  Is there anything more disloyal than that?  Yeah, probably, but it's up there.  You think you're being treated unfairly?  ha ha ha ha.  Get used to it.  You want respect?  Earn it.  You want me to shove a silver spoon up your ass?  Go somewhere else.  You want to join another family because they will give you all these things?  Well, I suppose I can't stop you.  But I'll damn well share with your son/daughter's family what kind of person they are allowing to join their family.  Maybe they won't care.  But I will.  And there are others like me.  Be a fucking man/woman.  And earn your way. 

Those are my thoughts on suicide.  Feel free to talk amonst yourselves. 

Are you married? I just so happen to have a ring and I'm in need of a partner.

I jest mon frere, I swing not for that team. Suicide is a coward's way out and without even having the testicular fortitude to tell the crew leader exactly what the reason was is a poor display. All dignity of an individual died with their suicide.

I've thought about this topic for some time myself, and can respect and understand your frustration on the matter.

I especially like the suicide note that discusses how things aren't working out, and less than a day later, their useless fucking bloodline pops up in another city. Then, a few days later, Lather, rinse, repeat... leaving their new boss high and dry as well.

The deadbeat's money would be nice to have in the family account, but isn't even the thing that annoys me most.

What really gets me is that I wasn't the one to be able to lodge the bullet in their head that sent their good for nothing waste of existence on a date "wit da fishes".

Let this be a lesson to anyone thinking of killing themselves off: If you plan on not serving your leader any longer, at least choose to die by a shot from their gun.

At least leave this world with honor, and not disgrace.

nods at Will

Well Will, to be fair to those whom suicided. I can relate, I know I want to suicide after spending just two days with. Problem is I am just way to lazy to go through the physical motions of it... Instead you are stuck with me,I figure it is just deserts given what you put me through.

In all seriousness, I firmly believe Suicide should no be an option. I know people and even the gods will argue "it could happen" Well, I could get hit by a Tin Lizzy or Model T crossing Broadway BUT I don't. I could go on but the point should be made.

There is always a downside as well, I remember recently an associate of mine while with the Northern Lights wanted to visit Burger King. He sent all his money to an associate and was killed. The cost of doing business, I ordered his money held and donated to Tallien for his decision.

~HF~

Well WillHayes... the only thing i can think of is... one suicide, one less soul to worry about. But that does'nt mean i approve this kind of act. There are better ways to end ones life, more honorable ways... lets not forget what we leave back to our sons. Better a thrown than cement i would say.

-Sneak!

She sneaks down the long, dark hall toward Will Hayes' office. Her eyes darting back and forth nervously, her palms sweating. A letter in her pocket waiting to be delivered she finds herself staring at his door. Gulping she raises her hand to knock on it and stops just before her knuckles touch the door. Standing back she pulls the letter out of her pocket she unfolds it and rereads it.

Dear Will,

I'm sorry. I cannot take it anymore. There are so many things that need to be said. My heart breaks knowing that I cannot say them to you in person. To be honest I fear your wrath even now as you read this. What I come to you today to say is very difficult.

I'm not going to commit suicide sir. I'm not a selfish chicken that requires my ego to be stroked daily. I care more about this family as a whole rather than placing priority on my own successes and wellbeing.

I am however going to nag you. I am going to steal Ginger Ale from you. She is the love of my life. The bread to my butter... And yes, the Dr. in my Dr. Pepper.

I am sorry sir, but things have to change. Starting right now I will serve my family with pride. I will support you and our members with all of my heart.. And Ginger's breasticles with my hands...

I am however going to retire one thing.. My cookie sheets. They have been in my family for years and it is time. There is too much competition in the cookie market these days. I feel I need to find a new product to peddle.

With Respects,

DLS

She sighs and refolds the letter before sliding it under the door. Almost running she exits the building and goes to her happy place. That place that always makes her feel calm. That place where everyone knows your name and they're always glad you came.

Shocked and confused, he refolds the note, tosses it on his desk and makes a run for the street, hoping beyond hope he can save the day...and the cookies.

DLS...Noooooooo!  Not the cookies.  Please.  Not the cookies.  We need the cookies.  I may even be willing to give up Gin...um, wait.  Let me think about this.  Cookies or GingerAle.  But cookies go so well with GingerAle.  You know, I've been told that GingerAle goes down smooth.  So how can I not have some with my cookies. 

He waffled some more before putting his foot down.

I want my cookies.  And you can't have GingerAle.

kthxbai.

I've never understood suicide.

For years, I was teased for looking a little different to the rest of the generic sugar-coated, little shits at school (not that I'm bitter)  However, I struggled on, not once thinking of taking my own life (I did ask Tallien to shoot me once but he missed).

Look at me now though.  I have developed into quite the handsome stud about town, even if I do say so myself, and have a stunner on my arm, the gorgeous SuBo (when she's not being the Bearded Lady at Barnum's).

If ever there was a story that said "don't kill yourself, you'll turn out to be magnificent and an inspiration to all", it's the JohnMerrick story.

I hope I inspire you all.

Ginger passes a Dr Pepper to JohnMerrick and gives him a sly grin.

But what if you inspire others to have a self inflicted bullet lobotomy? Drink up while the soda is cold.

She winks and then shakes her finger at WillHayes.

I'm quite disappointed that you'd even consider trading me for cookies. Obviously there's only one obvious choice. I'd take the cookies.

Its always better to go out with a bang.