Will stretched and yawned, rubbed his eyes, and climbed onto his Dr Pepper Crate Soap Box (trademarked by the way), and addressed the many who had gathered to ask him what had happened.

So, you want to know what really happened?  Okay.  I'll tell you.  Just please stop asking me.  It's been a long day, and I'm a little hung over, so this will be the last time I explain it.

I went to visit my Godfather and his RH, at a business they own in New York.  It's a funeral home.  And a great front if you ask me.  Besides being a front, it makes a lot of money from all the bodies that pile up from time to time, be it from war or just the bums from the street.  Or bodyguards.  Lots and lots of bodyguards. 

Anyway, Deimne was running late, and Deimna was on the golf course...again, and I was left there waiting.  Okay, I didn't mention this part, but I should.  I'd had a bit to drink.  And when I say a bit, I mean I was DRUNK.  That would explain why I crashed my car into the front of the building.  So, there I was, drunk and seriously almost passed out.  I needed a place to rest for a few minutes, while I waited for Deimne.  Did I mention he was late...again? 

So, I saw these caskets just sitting there.  A few of them were open, and damn did they look comfortable.  So, I climbed in one of them and laid down.  In retrospect, it probably wasn't the best idea.  But, after all, I was drunk, and not really thinking straight. 

Then apparently, some of the guys who work at the funeral home came in.  They saw this body in one of the caskets, and they closed the damn thing, wheeled me into a hertz, and drove me to the cemetary.  I learned this later, as I was still drunk, and passed out during this part of the trip.

The next morning, I woke up.  It was pitch black.  I thought I was blind.  Then I felt around and realized I was in some kind of box.  A casket.  What the hell was I thinking getting into a casket to take a nap?  Well, that's all I could think to myself.  Then, well, then I panicked.  I began banging on the casket.  And finally, finally it was opened.  And there was GingerAle.  She saved my life.  

I jumped out of the casket, to the shock and surprise of the crowd who'd gathered at the funeral of some unknown gangster.  The screams were deafening.  the hysteria was horrible.  But what the hell did I care, at least I wasn't stuck in that casket anymore about to be burried alive. 

And all I can say is: lesson learned.  I will never take a nap in a casket again.  As for Deimne and Deimna, I sure hope they realize that this wouldn't have happened had they shown up for the appointment on time...for once.

True story.

Damn!
I had already bought a nice pen to start writing my evangelium, since I thought I was in front of a new Jesus Christ!
No second coming, then?
Throws his fancy notebook in a recycle bin and walk back to his bed, frustrated

The second coming is all about Rourke, to be described in detail in chapter 4 of his autobiography "Sex, Lies, and Apple Pie: Growing Up With Yer Nan". In stores this Friday.

She turns to Will with a sheepish grin and wrings her hands.

Unfortunately, Will, I spoke to the executor of your estate once your death was announced. I'm grateful for the large amount you left me, or would have left me. I mean, truly touched I was. So was the salesperson at the shoes and accessory store.

Ginger shows off a new pair of black heels and a matching leather handbag.

You have to admit, they ARE fabulous.

Wow, Such a eventful night for you Mr Hayes. Well I can safely say it is a pleasure to see you fine and well my friend. I will take your lesson you have learned and make sure I myself don't lie down in a casket anytime soon when im drunk.

Death walks over to Hayes after spending all day looking for him. I was a bit DRUNK lastnight myself.

Its good to have you back and yes a casket does look comfortable when you have had a few drinks. I mean to me the floor looks comfortable when you have had too many drinks. Good to know you made it back to us though..

As Death walks away he turns his head back to will to let him know we need to get together one night and have a drink or two.. Or just buy out the bar and invite all our family and friends to come hang out.

Holy crap...i thought your a zombie or something..but good to have you back in NY Will..

Lesson learned : Dont sleep at the casket when youre drunk

-Puck-

Will, I nearly drowned myself in Dr. Pepper.  Not that it's  bad thing but I do need a drinkin buddy.  Care to join in?

well, theres a lesson... don't drink by yourself

Deimna tugged on her golf skirt and approached Will on his trademarked crate.

Now sir. I believe you might be mistaken just a little bit here. Seems in your drunken stupor you misread the time or switched around the meeting times. From the security guards claims, that car smashed into our building sometime around 21:00. Our meeting was not until 22:00. So as much as you like to blame me for being late, it was you who was early.

Deimna walked down the street to the nearest jewelry store and returned to the street corner where Will was still standing. A little lost yet as his head had not completely cleared. She produced a nicely wrapped box and handed it to Will.

There a new watch. Set to the right time and everything. So now when you drunkenly crash into buildings you will at least do it on time. Just make sure Deimne and I are not inside. I would hate to ruin my hair or have Deimne's new suit messed up.

Ginger giggles and links arms with Deimna.

Hmm. Will came early you say? Story of his life.

She coughs and looks around with a sheepish grin.

Perhaps I should get him a better watch. Ahem. Yeah. Bad timing.