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| Mafia's Roast | Started by: WiggleButt on Dec 30, '15 01:50 |
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JackRuby Most of you know him as the Right hand to Kimble. We in NY know he is literally Kimbles right hand. Hence why he smells like lotion when you pass him on the street. He takes "making the boss happy" to a whole new level. In the morning while everyone is reading the daily paper, Jack is busy mass mailing Asylum 's "Durdens are coming!" Updates. 12 mafiosos have hung themselves after being driven mad from the daily letters in their mailbox. Jack if you feel like fucking with people's mentality, just tell them your straight. Jack I know you like to make sure everyone gets their shot reports done on time. So I have an idea for you, offer free blow jobs behind the head quarters. I heard it works for SpikeS. It's not only a good way to get people to listen , but it also keeps your flapper busy. You talk more then Emoney after a bottle of whiskey at the local speakeasy. Speaking of EMoney, how's your mom doing? Last time I saw her she was the meat in a Ronin, Aztec sandwich. Sure hope you made something off that deal, but let's face it, if you had I'm sure it's been lost to the house. You know we love you here in NY Jack. Who am I kidding, its become so frustrating working for you that Rayln has resorted to flashing breast instead of robbing purses. She has traded in making old women crying for making men crying once they realize they've been ripped off. Hickory dickory dock, Jack leads just like a clock, When the hand strikes one, Jack screws up a ton, Hickory dickory dock. I know, I know, that poem was similar to Jacks bedroom activities. Short and pathetic. In all seriousness Jack, we all love ya and appreciate all the hard work you put in. This was all in good fun, except the bedroom portion cause Rita_Hayworth told me so. Now I'll leave the podium open for anyone else who'd like to join this glorious day of roasting. Oh and by the way, his birthday was a day or so ago. Send him plenty of letters as he does for us on a daily basis. Love ya Jack! The crowd pelts Wiggle with tomato's as he jumps of the podium and disappears in the alley way. |
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That sandwich actually happened. And I never looked Aztec in the eyes, therefore it wasn't gay, in any way. |
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| Reply by: Ronin at Dec 30, '15 01:54 | |
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You didn't once mention Turkey Bear. |
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| Reply by: SpikeS at Dec 30, '15 01:54 | |
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But Ronin, we both know very well that you and Aztec high-fived so... |
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| Reply by: SpikeS at Dec 30, '15 01:54 | |
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I've had to stop flashing, actually. I kept losing bacon and that was making me cry. Jeesh, get your facts straight, WiggleButt. |
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| Reply by: Rayln at Dec 30, '15 01:55 | |
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A high five during a devil's three way is a show of brotherhood and triumph. As long as we don't make eye contact at any point during said three way, it's all good. In the hood. |
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| Reply by: Ronin at Dec 30, '15 01:56 | |
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"Ronin ain't nothing wrong with a little homo love don't worry so much Aztec is a smexy beast we won't judge you that much" Sinfest sticks his tongue out at Ronin and then starts chatting with wigglebutt "Dude good roast. I can't even being to be that funny much love friend" Sinfest tips his hat to JackRuby and Wigglebutt before heading off to find some snacks |
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| Reply by: Sinfest at Dec 30, '15 02:21 | |
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Oh certainly not, my dear Sinfest. I just felt like I should be clear, as my numerous lady friends would be severely disappointed if I were to jump the fence. |
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| Reply by: Ronin at Dec 30, '15 02:22 | |
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| Its true, Cordelia would be highly upset if he jumped the fence Sinfest. Ronin just don't make what we do behind closed doors public or else you'd be caught in a bind here. | |
| Reply by: WiggleButt at Dec 30, '15 07:02 | |
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After composing himself enough to finally speak from laughing so much, Jack turns to the crowd and says, I want to thank everyone for coming out today, if it wasn't for WiggleButt and his drunken behaviors and sounds I don't think any of use would be here today! I have to say man, the poem, it's a tear jerker, it's quite good! I think I'm going to have to have a talk with Rita_Hayworth now, I thought our bedroom problems were for us only, not for the public to know about! Jack wanders off shaking his head, going in the general direction of where Rita's HQ is located. |
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| Reply by: JackRuby at Dec 30, '15 19:07 | |
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Suns walked around the crowd with a bucket of tomatoes. |
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| Reply by: Sweetsuns at Dec 30, '15 19:24 | |
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Ilammo was admiring them from afar and had to agree with SpikeS.
Bring out the Turkey Bear! |
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| Reply by: Ilammo at Dec 31, '15 00:05 | |
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The turkey bear is rare. It was last seen in the wilderness of virginia. Its food source is rabbit shit and acorns. Pine trees are it's bedding and it doesn't gobble. In fact it sounds more like a frog giving birth. |
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| Reply by: WiggleButt at Dec 31, '15 09:21 | |
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Backs away rather quickly at the mention of the turkey bear and plots out where to hide until it is safe again. |
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| Reply by: Rayln at Dec 31, '15 13:12 | |
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No need to hide Rayln, you know you want to find the Turkey bear! As a matter of fact I heard said beast had the hots for you. May want to think about stocking up on Rabbit shit and acorns to lure in the illusive being. |
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| Reply by: WiggleButt at Dec 31, '15 15:01 | |
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Rita stands there in awe of what has just transpired, she places her hand on her forehead and shakes her head a couple times. "You go into someones bedroom just one time to give someone some decorating advise and this is what people think... Though I will say poor JackRuby and his bedroom issues." |
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| Reply by: Rita_Hayworth at Dec 31, '15 20:49 | |
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