The day is January 13th, 1955. We are in...

He quickly points to one of the men standing on the side of the road, which is when he pulls out a small bottle of water. Upon throwing it in the air, another man standing on stilts blows the mid-air water into the crowd - it is all very realistic so please don't tell me otherwise, you've never tried it, I bet. 

THE FUTURE!!!

Putting on a pair of old welding goggles he runs over to a small table which had been placed awkwardly in the middle of the street a few hours ago by his hard working crew. Sitting down he breathes in a large sigh before calling upon a woman wearing tattered clothing, she too walks over to the table as the goggled-man slams his fists down, nearly breaking the poorly crafted piece of furniture in two. 

"Shit... I mean, hello! My dear Elizabeth, I see you're not wearing the period piece clothing." muttering under his breath he gives the woman a sharp stare. She doesn't seem to notice, or care.

"I was promised free biscuits if I came here. Where are my biscuits?"

"Elizabeth, you crazy ho. Haha. No wonder you are the love of my life."

In a nearby alley a large thump is heard. 

DUN DUN!

"God dammit, Larry. I told you that's not until I reveal the secret, did that sound like a secret?!" Trying to keep his composure, the King stays completely in character of a man from the future and using the shoes he had glued wheels too, he fumbles his way over to the poorly looking woman and places one of his fingers onto his chin.

*Chomp*

"What the HELL... my dearest Elizabeth, why would you BITE me?" He gave her yet another angry glare before realizing she was now laying down on the floor, taking a nap he presumed. She did that sometimes, it was why she came so cheap from the troupe he hired her from. 

"Oh, a nap so soon, my love? I, uh... in the future this is a thing that happens all the time, surely."

A larger thump is heard this time around. The man in stilts now lays on the ground a few feet away from Revan, nearly taking off his head in the process. Never again will he hire from the people who operate behind that bar, and he was beginning to suspect they had no actual idea what they were doing.

Just as he was about to completely give up there was a glimmer of hope still left! He spent weeks cutting up thousands of pieces of paper to make his own ticker tape parade as an ending to remember. While the story wasn't being told how he would like, he would not let these amateurs ruin his rendition of "1955" a book about the horrors of dental hygiene in the future which he himself had written.

"Let us skip to the end, shall we? As Elizabeth, uh, lay dead on the street, bleeding..." Quickly thinking on his feet, he sprays some duck blood all over the sleeping woman, blood which he had sneakily kept hidden in his pocket the entire day. "The unnamed hero realizes he had finally won and that oral care is indeed the future!" He pumps his fists into the air and then rushes quickly over to the sacks of paper.

Triumphantly walking up and down the street throwing the confetti into the air, he smiles to himself. Everyone loved it. It went perfectly.

"THE END."

"Please, please. If you loved this story make sure to place money into the hat. We do period piece stories weekly, for your personal enjoyment! Thank you. Next up will be Marmosets, a story about the horrors of tiny asshole mammals and how easily they turn."

He takes a bow and then lays down next to the woman still lying there, she had the right idea. Street performance is a tiring business.